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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think mums like this didn't really exist until yesterday

152 replies

FurCoatNoNickname · 17/02/2011 10:05

I've chortled at competitive parenting anecdotes on mumsnet without having ever come across anyone like it in real life. Yesterday one just fell into my lap so I thought I'd share...
I've just joined the local library with DD(3) and DS(1). We were having a mooch in the children's section when a woman nearby started talking to her toddler - "oh Archie, I'm sorry but they don't seem to have any books about parts of the body. It's such a shame because you're always asking what everything is and I know you're so keen to find out. Maybe someone else has borrowed it." This at a volume loud enough to carry across the entire library.
I sneaked a sideways look through my fringe to see a boy of about 2 carefully wiping a bogey into the carpet, oblivious to mummy's angst. She then picked out a book and shouted "never mind, let's sit here instead and read all about Diwali.."

AIBU to inwardly snigger?!

OP posts:

Threelittleducks · 18/02/2011 15:19

If you all had a FIL like mine, you wouldn't use the library.

He buys vast amounts of books every week because they were 'only a pound for the boxfull'. No danger of ds getting bored anytime soon!

It frazzles me - and yes I am a huge library fan - there was nothing like going to the library as a child.
Seriously though, I have books for all ages, including Shakespeares written for kids (which I don't imagine ds will look at until he is about 8), huge Dick King Smith collection, Mr Men collection, all the children's classics, fairytales, compendiums, books on any subject - honestly! Ds is only 2 and loves books. We read alllll the time. And he respects his books too, which is lovely.
I should just open my doors and let you all come in for a browse and a play!
(please? I'll bake cake and make tea?! You could take some away!?! Please? )

I do feel very lucky (we only buy ds a book on birthdays, xmases - dh and I are both bibliophiles) that we haven't spent really anything at all in such a wide and varied collection, but also it's getting to the point where we have no room!!

I fear we have a forest's worth in there.
Not counting Dh and I's collection which is insurmountable vast.
Our friends who kindly helped us move house were cursing us as they humped the boxes in...."what the bloody hell is in this box?"

IShallWearMidnight · 18/02/2011 15:39

The "f words" comment way back reminded me - when DD1 was 2 or so (maybe 3, can't remember that far back) she spent loads of time finding signs with F on them ( her name starts with F). one day she announced out very loudly in Tescos "there's my name" as she pointed at the sign for Fresh Meat. Much sniggering from the customers nearby

complexnumber · 18/02/2011 15:41

Marioandluigi
"We went to see 'We're going on a bearhunt' at the theatre at the weekend - Filled with Uber Mums who tutted as DS2 ran round the theatre squealing."

Your 'squealing' would probably have been my 'screaming', sounds like your DS behaved badly tbh. I imagine I would have been peeved had I been there with a similarly aged child intent on watching the show.

Not sure how 'uber' that makes me.

Original poster

FurCoatNoNickname · 18/02/2011 15:41

how did I do that?

OP posts:

choccyp1g · 18/02/2011 15:54

LeQueen says: I see a lot of parents who appear to be scared just to let their toddler be. They think that in order to be a Good Parent they have to be constantly stimulating them, directing their attention to anything and everything, talking to them...and most importantly be seen to be doing all these things...

I must be the toddler in my house, as DS is constantly pestering me like that. He sees his mission in life is to educate me about football and fast cars. and large numbers. and if he can combine all three into one conversation. eg footballers salaries and what cars they might buy with them.

bubbleymummy · 18/02/2011 16:59

Sorry I misunderstood you gilly - it was just the way you mentioned the fact the child had been refused pop and then commented on the fact that he was underweight due to 'healthy eating' in inverted comments that made think you thought there was something wrong with avoiding sugary foods - as if that would make you underweight. Anyway - my mistake if that's not what you were saying! :)

chipmonkey · 18/02/2011 17:10

Bubbleymummy and Gillybobs, I do think there is a difference between healthy eating for a child and healthy eating for an adult .A lot of parents seem to have no idea of this and feed their children on what would be a good diet for an adult but is too high in fibre and low in fat for a child. So you can end up with an underweight child whose parents think he is being fed an excellent diet.

coastgirl · 18/02/2011 17:21

Overheard today -

Mum to child holding painting clearly done at school - "Do you remember when we listened to that song about Starry Night?"

Child - "No."

Mum - "Yes you do, it was last year, darling!"

Child - mumbles something.

Mum - "Did you tell your teacher all about it? You really should have!"

All said in a piercing voice that carried clear across the car park.

Gillybobs · 18/02/2011 17:24

bubble - no worries

Chipmonkey - you are spot on, that exactly what was happening with this child. I didnt really give enough detail I can see that. This poor wee boy has such a low fat diet he looks malnourished. Im all for healthy eating but agree that means something different in kids (eg they need full fat milk etc etc). I felt this Mum denied him even the smallest of treats, almost as if she was worried others would judge her for it (how ironic...) What I meant in my first post was that I think kids should eat healthily but if there is ever a time for a small treat surely a kids party is that time? I felt sad for him watching his sister (only 11 months older than him) tucking in to a lemonade and him being told no. She actually pointed to them in turn saying "you can have it, but you cant" : (

candleshoe · 18/02/2011 19:27

I would at least know how to cope with a gang of desperately insecure show off loud Mums.

I could immediately feel quietly superior

It is the quietly confident uber-mums I find intimidating! Why are they so calm? How did their children stay so clean all day in school? And what exclusive after school club are they quietly slipping off to in their pious Prius?

kerala · 18/02/2011 19:51

I did this once when DD (aged 4) and I went on our first girls only trip to London on the train. I was wittering on about we could see out of the window ooh look sheep, theres a horse, you like horses dont you etc etc. She turned to me and said politely "could you be quiet please mummy". That shut me up

JamieLeeCurtis · 18/02/2011 19:55

kerala
It's funny, people complain about the noise children make on trains, but it's the non-stop wittering from the mum I find more irritating. OTOH, the wittering is often in the face of anxiety about the DC kicking off and everyone judging. It's a vicious circle ...

ilikecustard · 18/02/2011 21:26

Well, I learnt my lesson with this showy offy parenting!
My daughter and I were stood waiting for my partner in the carpark on a retail estate...bored so I started with the "Ooh! theres a B&Q, what words start with B and Q darling"?
We loudly did the rounds of all the shops,the last was MFI. "So darling what words start with M,F and an I"?
"My f*ing igloo" was the reply....I started a swearbox after that. www.mumsnet.com/te/8.gif

GotArt · 18/02/2011 21:44

Woodlands Wouldn't worry too much about DH reading poetry. I use to read art theory papers to DD when she was little. Midwife said it didn't matter what you read really, just reading out loud was nice for them and if you are going to read it anyhow, may as well read it so child can here... not in public mind you. That would be the type of hyper parenting we are having a laugh at on this thread.

Bubbley Saw one of those moms today. Her DS, about 3, was in the stroller sucking back a coke with a bag of crisps while she had a cigarette in one hand, texting with the other and completely oblivious to the fact the smoke was going right at him. Its too tragic to have the same kind of laugh at as we are having on this thread with insecure parenting.

FurCoat "Having a bellowed conversation 'with' a young toddler about the merits of Fair Trade bananas = clearly SOP (Show Off Parenting)" Indeed!

I did catch myself today at the grocery store check-out saying to DD, as she grabbed the chocolate bars, that we don't eat that stuff. I didn't say it very loud but when I turned around, there stood a mom with her little one, not much older than DD, with 3 kinder eggs in his hands. Hope she didn't hear me.

GotArt · 18/02/2011 21:47

ilikecustard Brilliant. Maybe that was your DD's way of telling you.

5inthebed · 18/02/2011 21:50

I thought of this thread when in my local library today

Two little girls, called Calypso and Louise, and their grandad doing over enthusiastic grandparenting. "look Louise somebody has taken the book we were looking at last week about the dinosaurs" and "Calypso, Why must you tease your sister so".

Dawnybabe · 18/02/2011 22:01

Just had a thought - if you don't know who the Show Off Parent is, is it you? (me)

exoticfruits · 18/02/2011 22:09

'She turned to me and said politely "could you be quiet please mummy". That shut me up '

A sensible DC! I expect that a lot of them would just like time to think -I bet they just let it go in one ear and out the other because funnily enough that sort of parent rarely gets an answer! I wouldn't mind so much if the mother paused long enough for an answer.

Mayqueene · 18/02/2011 23:05

I think I may be guilty of accidental loudness of parenting-sorry.

I am quieter though than I was. About 15 years ago, I was telling my 2 and 4 year olds why worms don't enjoy either going down slides or being forced back into holes, when I glanced over at my elderly neighbour who was giggling.She said;

"Mayqueene, I love listening to you talking to your kids, you sound like Joyce Grenfell, makes my day!!"

Sadly,my kids can be a bit loud too,my 6 year old will ask if things "are gelatine" or "have cow in" and has been known to say "yuck why would you eat dead things" in a stage whisper as he peers into trolleys at the checkout, less now he knows its rude!

He also famously skipped round Morrisons shouting "broccoli and kale,broccoli and kale I love love love broccoli and kale"

He doesn't particularly, he tolerates them,but I just knew people would be thinking what a nightmare mum that boy has.

poochela · 18/02/2011 23:19

a spectacularly cringey uber mum at a recent engagement doo 'tabitha sweetie, would you like duchess or dauphinois?' to a 2 year old.

candleshoe · 18/02/2011 23:19

Was there a particular tune to the broc + kale song? Can I teach it to my lot?

candleshoe · 18/02/2011 23:20

We have a Tabitha in DD class - brother called Torquil and baby called Ti Amo!

Spidermama · 18/02/2011 23:24

My DH talks as if he's addressing a public gathering. It's just the way he is. Even talking to one other person in a room

I sometimes feel embarrassed for him because people assume he's showing off or trying to be overheard but he really isn't. He's oblivious.

Mayqueene · 18/02/2011 23:34

Candleshoe

Sung to the tune of "The farmer wants a wife"

Broccoli and Kale
Broccoli and Kale
I love love love
Broccoli and Kale

Substitute with veg of your choice

candleshoe · 18/02/2011 23:51

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