Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mums like this didn't really exist until yesterday

152 replies

FurCoatNoNickname · 17/02/2011 10:05

I've chortled at competitive parenting anecdotes on mumsnet without having ever come across anyone like it in real life. Yesterday one just fell into my lap so I thought I'd share...
I've just joined the local library with DD(3) and DS(1). We were having a mooch in the children's section when a woman nearby started talking to her toddler - "oh Archie, I'm sorry but they don't seem to have any books about parts of the body. It's such a shame because you're always asking what everything is and I know you're so keen to find out. Maybe someone else has borrowed it." This at a volume loud enough to carry across the entire library.
I sneaked a sideways look through my fringe to see a boy of about 2 carefully wiping a bogey into the carpet, oblivious to mummy's angst. She then picked out a book and shouted "never mind, let's sit here instead and read all about Diwali.."

AIBU to inwardly snigger?!

OP posts:
rickymummy · 17/02/2011 18:16

If I bought every book we borrowed from the library, it would cost us a fortune. At least 12 books between us every fortnight (some renewals, some new books).

Every time DS1 has a new project at school, he wants to raid the library, so we currently have half a dozen books on the Stuarts, and Electricity. He wants things as advanced as he can read, so the history and science books he had when he was five are now too young for him.

DS2 has currently borrowed a book about Germany, because he wanted to know what it looked like. Book is way too old for him, but he is looking at the photos ("I didn't know they had trains in Germany Mummy!"). All because he recognised the flag on the cover of the book from the World Cup. I wouldn't have dreamed of buying this book for him in a bookshop.

Honestly, if you don't use a library regularly, it is worth checking it out, even if you have all the classics at home (which we do as well).

EleanorJosie · 17/02/2011 18:18

I'm glad to hear kids do still use books for research!

rickymummy · 17/02/2011 18:20

Absolutely, in our case. DS1 reads his history books under the covers with his lego torch when he's supposed to be asleep:)

EleanorJosie · 17/02/2011 18:23

He sounds great Smile

BoysAreLikeDogs · 17/02/2011 18:27

tbh I would tut at a child running squealing around a theatre, even if it was the Bear Hunt

[hoists bosoms]

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 17/02/2011 18:31

I really really hate a) loud parenting as described by the OP and b) passive aggressive talking through children like Fluffy described.

Someone I know comes into both categories; she talks as loudly as she can so that everyone looks at her, and makes passive aggressive comments to my DS who is the same age as hers "Ooooh, you still have a bottle do you? Oh dear" etc etc

nappyaddict · 17/02/2011 18:58

I suppose it depends how many books you have. We have far too many for one child due to the fact we frequent a lot of charity shops, car boots and cheap book shops and rarely read the same one in a few months. If we are in town and trying to kill some time we will go and have a look at the books in the library and occasionally take one out but to be honest there's rarely anything that DS likes enough to want to take home. A lot are quite old fashioned. All the new books are always out, I tried requesting some but they only give you so many days to go and collect it and I could never get there in time so they'd go out again. It's easier to just take him to a bookshop, read him the book there and if he likes it then we buy it. However he is only 4 at the moment and can't read so all the books he has are short and ones that are sort of meant to be read over and over again. Once he is a free reader and onto what I call proper books with chapters then it will probably be better to use the library. It doesn't work out cheaper for me to use the library though, the library fine when I forget to take them back is often more than just buying the book!

369thegoosedrankwine · 17/02/2011 19:08

I hate this loud 'on show' parenting too.

I was in the toilets at McDonalds last weekend with DS1 when a super mum said to her DS's 'No, we don't eat food here it is BAD food''. Then they all proceeeded to walk out without washing their hands (I know this is not particularly relevant but I hate this too).

I wasn't particularly offended by her view, I am really not arsed (no such thing as BAD food IMO only a BAD diet), but more that she chose to voice this view very loudly in a McDonalds toilet. Confused

sleeplessinseatle · 17/02/2011 19:59

ah, PMSL at the memory of an ostentatious Parent friend decanting her Shop Bought Baby Food into individual tupperwares so it looked home made.

Wouldn't mind if she thought (insert old fashioned yet somehow once again terribly fashionable middle class first name) only wanted to eat half a jar. But she decanted an entire jar, popped tupperware in bag, and off they went.

StataLover · 17/02/2011 20:04

"I was told there was only one water left, did I want a fruit shoot to make up the other one... I'm not keen on them but though, fuck it - one wont hurt.

The woman was presented with the same thing - fruit shoot or nada. Jesus christ, she totally lost the plot ranting about how disgraceful it was, and she couldnt bear to give her kids that 'muck'..."

I had my comeuppance with that. We were on holiday abroad and had the same thing. Got a meal deal but no water left. How terrible blah blah. So woman serving offers me some 'gently flavoured' water. Well, I thought, that's not so bad. Kids gulp it down and I lazily examine ingredients - only to find they'd flipping gulped down some energy drink with shit loads of caffeine in it!!!! After 10 minutes, DD2 started headbutting me and then running around in circles! Give me the fruit shoot now any day! Least you know where you stand with them...

chandellina · 17/02/2011 20:05

YABU and mean. I say silly things in the course of conversation with my toddler all the time, and am definitely not trying to impress anyone. To me, it sounds like a woman a bit starved of talk more than someone trying to show off about her son's supposed intelligence.

Bogeyface · 17/02/2011 20:29

369 - You should have said, pass agg through your child obviously,
"Well its good job we and lots of other people eat here isnt it? Otherwise would close and that lady wouldnt have had anywhere to take her not very well toilet trained child for a wee would she?" :o

mumbar · 17/02/2011 21:03

I use to chit chat to DS but I hope never in a braggy type of way.

I have seen it done to cover an obvious lack of control over a child.

In supermarket, Mum said no to large bag of sweets, continues up isle and dc picks it up and puts it in the trolly, Mum says 'oh you like those don't you, you like sorting them into colours etc' At pringles, no again, offers alternative, child picks them up and stands there trying to open them, mum walks over and opens them asking her DD what flavour they are and how clever she is to remember which flavour are her favourite. Hmm In cake isle similar, mum even puts her DD in trolly to eat the cookie. (not a dig at being in the trolly btw)

Mum kept on at how 'clever' her DD is - clever enough to control her mum. Wink

DS tells me when we've left the shop the girl is 6, is really clever in school and really well behaved.

369thegoosedrankwine · 17/02/2011 21:11

Bogey, I was silently thinking some of my happy meal money paid for you to have a wee here Grin

Portofino · 17/02/2011 21:22

I can recall trying to book dd into the Siblu kids club and saying quite loudly "she is bilingual, she speaks English AND French". The kids club leader looked at me like I was a loon. Blush I was just nervous......

Eglu · 17/02/2011 21:30

Chandelina There is a huge difference between chatting to your toddler about everything around you for yourself, and doing it for the attention of others around you. These people do it very loudly and obviously not for the benefit of their child, but for those around them to think how wonderful a parent they are.

systemsaddict · 17/02/2011 21:31

Takes me back to the time I bumped into a colleague in the supermarket with her four year old. "Now darling - can you get me some ... sugar? What letter does sugar start with? A S! That's right! Well done, clever girl! And it doesn't sound like a S, does it? Now what else can you find me that starts with a S?" etc etc etc, in piercing tones that rang through the supermarket. Pedagogically sound I'm sure but it just made me cringe!

(My supermarket trips go more like this: "No. No. Don't touch. Stay by the trolley. By the trolley or you're going in it. IN! Right. That's it. No, you've got a magazine already, you can't have sweets." Etc etc. Though my tones are probably piercing, too ...)

Susiewho · 17/02/2011 21:32

Oh my christ, this thread is about me. Blush

Talking to two year old DD all the time - check (although not loudly - don't like that sort of parent)

Identifying objects in the supermarket and what letter they begin with - check

Buying organic (including avocadoes!) - check

No sugary drinks - check

Regularly in the library and mad on reading - check

What a knobber!

Susiewho · 17/02/2011 21:33

BTW, I wasn't being sarcastic. I've realised that I must be rather OTT. Grin

bubbleymummy · 17/02/2011 21:39

Ah yes. Nothing like a bit of mumsnet judginess to compensate for your own insecurities.... :)

exoticfruits · 17/02/2011 21:59

I am surprised that people can't see the advantage of being able to go to the library where the books are free. You can go every week and take out a dozen books!! Even if you buy them at charity shops you are not going to get that many a week. I certainly vet the books if I am buying them, I don't have money to throw away. At the library it doesn't matter if they take a book that turns out not to be liked.

exoticfruits · 17/02/2011 22:01

I don't think that anyone minds people talking to their DCs in a supermarket about letters etc, what they object to is when it is done very loudly as in 'listen to me-aren't I a wonderful mummy'!

Susiewho · 17/02/2011 22:04

I agree, exoticfruits - libraries are very valuable. Nothing's comparable.

Tarenath · 17/02/2011 22:07

My preschooler loves the library! Quite often we find books there that I've never seen in a shop, and he'll often pick out different books than he would in the shop too. He often suprises me with his choices of books at the library.

DaphneHeartsFred · 17/02/2011 22:14

I'm shocked at the number of you who allow your DCs to choose their own books.

If I let DS do that I'd have been forced through 'Goodbye Mog'.

NEVER!!!