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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mums like this didn't really exist until yesterday

152 replies

FurCoatNoNickname · 17/02/2011 10:05

I've chortled at competitive parenting anecdotes on mumsnet without having ever come across anyone like it in real life. Yesterday one just fell into my lap so I thought I'd share...
I've just joined the local library with DD(3) and DS(1). We were having a mooch in the children's section when a woman nearby started talking to her toddler - "oh Archie, I'm sorry but they don't seem to have any books about parts of the body. It's such a shame because you're always asking what everything is and I know you're so keen to find out. Maybe someone else has borrowed it." This at a volume loud enough to carry across the entire library.
I sneaked a sideways look through my fringe to see a boy of about 2 carefully wiping a bogey into the carpet, oblivious to mummy's angst. She then picked out a book and shouted "never mind, let's sit here instead and read all about Diwali.."

AIBU to inwardly snigger?!

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 17/02/2011 17:02

I am gutted because I dont really get these!

My cousin was very very braggy but she doesnt do it anymore since dd (bless her!) took one look at the school book cousins eldest was reading and she (2 years younger than him) said "Oh I read that at school last year, its good isnt it?" I loved her so much for that :o

morticiasmum · 17/02/2011 17:05

My fave was the mum whose son had just won one of those bright blue drinks on the Junior school's tombola. she was ranting to anyone who'd listen how it shouldn't be allowed for these things to be given to children, was full of additives, what was the school thinking... Meanwhile the kid had necked half of it. Told her there was no law at all against it and as a one-off, what was the problem? Not a popular opinion.

nappyaddict · 17/02/2011 17:07

"PS and the mother does not think it would be necessary to take DS to the library because they have a lot of books at home."

Out of curiosity why do you think it is necessary to go to the library when you have lots of books at home? The only advantage I can think of is that at our library they learn how to use the self-serve machine and to respect other people's books, but I teach DS to respect all books including his own and other peoples.

exoticfruits · 17/02/2011 17:07

YANBU - I have fun awarding them marks out of 10 for cringeworthy parenting.
The library is a wonderful place for spotting them, it seems to bring out the worst!

exoticfruits · 17/02/2011 17:10

'Out of curiosity why do you think it is necessary to go to the library when you have lots of books at home?'

Because the DC can get a free choice, at home the parent is the one who chooses. I don't know how anyone who enjoys reading can ask the question. I can still remember the absolute joy of libraries as a child.

nappyaddict · 17/02/2011 17:11

Actually I did see one at the library the other day. She was reading a book to a 3 year old boy and got to the word Rosie. She goes Ruh-O-Zee, Rosie. I was thinking one he's really not interested in you sounding out the words, secondly that's not even the right way to sound it out is it (disclaimer I don't really know anything about phonics so I could be wrong, but it didn't make sense to me Grin)

nappyaddict · 17/02/2011 17:12

I don't choose the books we buy - DS does when we go to the bookshop.

gramercy · 17/02/2011 17:16

These parents haunt Waitrose like a bad smell.

The other day I was going about my business when Mummy of the Year pipes up "And now we need an AVOCADO, darling. It contains lots and lots of VITAMINS. And now let's get some potatoes. We'll find the ORGANIC ones..." I couldn't care less, but she was looking at me out of the corner of her eye, obviously expecting my admiration. I couldn't help rolling my eyes.

feekychucker · 17/02/2011 17:17

We had a mum like that at our school, she was always talking very loudly about her dcs and how they only ate organic, drank water, never ate sweets etc. She got the shock of her life when I saw her in the local garage buying fab lollies and fizzy drinks. She was telling the sales asst it was to keep the kids happy in the car. Her face literally went white when she turned to leave and saw me standing there.
I did have to laugh :)

darleneconnor · 17/02/2011 17:25

Oh, I am so that Mum Blush. And DD isn't even my PFB.

I bought an alphabet book then complained to D(suffering)P that there shouldn't be an ice-cream next to the 'i' because it wasn't the 'i' sound I've been teaching her.

I give her a running commentry on everything which must be a bit annoying for people in earshot.

I think the comment about parents choosing books at home a little odd. My DCs pick books from their shelves at home, not me. And if we did go to a library I wouldn't let them get something random that I didn't approve of, so it works in reverse for us.

Rhian82 · 17/02/2011 17:30

Libraries are wonderful places. I adored ours as a child. They have a different selection to the bookshops, and are a good place to try out books that you're not sure if they'll like enough to buy.

(and often do toddler storytime things as well - we used to live across the road from a library and I miss taking DS there, never have the energy to walk the two miles into town for it now!)

JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 17:31

I do notice the running-commentary-as-tantrum-in-supermarket-avoidance-strategy

silverfrog · 17/02/2011 17:37

PMSL at the notion that children only get free choice of books in a library.

my dds both get to choose exactly what books they want when we go to the bookshop - in dd2's case about 3 times a week.

yes, we should support the library. but since dd1 is ASD< and despite much encouragement form me can be all too rough on books I don't think it is fair to decimate their stock.

but I don't dictate what books she has Hmm. what an odd idea.

rickymummy · 17/02/2011 17:45

The main advantage of libraries are that they are free!

Between the library and the local charity shop, which has a fantastic book scetion, I have saved a fortune over the last few years.

Also, it is great to see what the children want to borrow. Rarely what I would've chosen.

fluffyliquorice · 17/02/2011 17:46

I've had the misfortune to be in the changing rooms at the swimming pool when the mum and toddler group are getting changed, these type of mums really exist! Top prize goes to woman, who, as I emerged from the shower dripping and headed to the cubicle, said loudly to her two year old, "oh she was a miserable lady wasn't she darling, she didn't even look at you or smile at you". I did inform said woman that her child is not actually God and therefore people should not be expected to bow down at here feet when they walk past her.

rickymummy · 17/02/2011 17:47

JamieLeeCurtis - I think it's me you hear in Waitrose. DS2 always tells me the new "letter of the week" on his way to do our shop on a Monday, and we go around Waitrose looking for that letter.

I'll whisper next time. Wink

JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 17:48

fluffy - lovely!! passive-aggressive talking-through-her- child Mother. One of my favourites!

JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 17:49

ricky - Oh no - I was that mother B.I.S (before internet shopping). DS2 was a nightmare in supermarkets

rickymummy · 17/02/2011 17:52

Jamie - DS1 was impossible, but DS2 loves Waitrose. He is a bit overdomesticated. He has just had a tantrum because I peeled the brussel sprouts without telling him.

EleanorJosie · 17/02/2011 17:53

I am a bit like that too - it's not competitive parenting, I just feel the need to teach them and explain stuff all the time. I am talking to the child not an audience, if people overhear and think it's weird then let them!

With my first I was probably a bit unrealistic about what was appropriate for her age and what she could understand but I felt so eager for her to grow up, so I probably did some of the cringey things above. With my second DD I knew what she could understand and when. If we go to a supermarket my eldest finds stuff and weighs it out, with my little one I ask her to name the vegetables etc. I only go for a few bits with them though, not the weekly shop or we'd be there all day. I'm sure I have said "Avocadoes are really good for you and full of vitamins" at some point. They are - I bloody love them too, my kids don't though! One of those first foods they would never touch...still all the more for me.

And at parties I have had to ask for water as they don't like fizzy drinks - it's not an enforced ban its just that we don't have them at home - I have let them try them but they don't like cola or lemonade. I let them have everything - sweets, crisps, chocolate, cakes but at parties they do also eat the carrot sticks, houmous and grapes if available and the sandwiches, again by choice not because I've made them.

I just think it's a good idea to talk to kids in a grown up way - or what the hell just talk to them full stop. People used to look at me funny because I talked to them as tiny babies. I also think it's a good idea to instil a love of learning and a thirst for knowledge in kids- not throwing so much at them that it puts them off, but life is about life long learning for me.

EleanorJosie · 17/02/2011 17:55

What a funny idea that you can't use a local library because you have books at home. Hmm

eatmyfood · 17/02/2011 18:02

Aaaagh, that weird passive-aggressive thing people do of talking at you through their children!

Last summer ds2 (6) was playing on a rope bridge in the park, and was bouncing up and down as he walked across it - not vigourously, but was bouncing. Little girl of similar age behind him on the bridge obviously didn't like him bouncing (he couldn't even see her) and over rushed her Dad exclaiming loudly "OH WHAT A HORRIBLE RUDE LITTLE BOY! LET'S GET YOU DOWN FROM HERE - WHY OH WHY DO SOME CHILDREN HAVE TO BE SO UNPLEASANT!!"

Cue raised eyebrows from me and lots of fussing from the Dad, who asked the DD what she'd like to do next - at which point his DD loudly but calmly exclaimed "I'd like to kill all the children in this park, including all the babies, and cut all their heads off."

For some reason they left pretty much immediately after that.

silverfrog · 17/02/2011 18:04

the thought wasn't that you can't use a library if you have lots of books at home, but rather that it isn't necessary.

and it isn't. (aside, obviously ffrom the storytime/rhyme and sing bits)

my dds have a wider selection of books in their playroom than there is in our local library. and they get free reign in bookshops/charity shops etc (with obvious substitutions/veto if they are picking pu somehting not age appropriate. but then i'd do that in the library too)

I find it odd that poeple think that children can only be well and widely read if they use a library.

JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 18:05

OMG. That is a brilliant story eatmyfood. Some serious psychodrama going on in that family

EleanorJosie · 17/02/2011 18:16

I don't think that they can't be widely read if they don't use a library, but my kids get bored of the books they have at home (and I get fed up of Hungry Caterpillar for the 500th time) so it's good to go and see what they have that's different in the library. Also they have all the new books that have just come out that we might not have at home. Plus they bump into other kids they know there and it's generally a nice environment, esp. on a rainy day. And I might choose a book for myself too.