to think mums like this didn't really exist until yesterday

[FurCoatNoNickname]

I've chortled at competitive parenting anecdotes on mumsnet without having ever come across anyone like it in real life. Yesterday one just fell into my lap so I thought I'd share...
I've just joined the local library with DD(3) and DS(1). We were having a mooch in the children's section when a woman nearby started talking to her toddler - "oh Archie, I'm sorry but they don't seem to have any books about parts of the body. It's such a shame because you're always asking what everything is and I know you're so keen to find out. Maybe someone else has borrowed it." This at a volume loud enough to carry across the entire library.
I sneaked a sideways look through my fringe to see a boy of about 2 carefully wiping a bogey into the carpet, oblivious to mummy's angst. She then picked out a book and shouted "never mind, let's sit here instead and read all about Diwali.."

AIBU to inwardly snigger?!

It's easy to tell the difference between genuine comments to a child and ones that are for the benefit of others.

It is the manic gaze around the room to see if people have noticed, followed by either beaming smile or slightly hysterical crescendo of comments.

My 5 year old shouted out in the librbary really loudly recently 'oh mummy, no books on brachiosaureses - and they are just my very very favorouite dinasaurs too'. It was Nothing To Do With Me

How hilarious! I'd love to have given Archie a can of Coke and a Power Ranger.

Is this the only thing that MN finds it totally acceptable to be all judgy about?

There's a noticeable absence of people trotting out excuses (maybe the mum has had a hard day, maybe the child is slightly deaf / has a range of SN, maybe the mum is lovely but insecure / was neglected as a child and has no idea of how other people parent' etc etc.

Much more fun to go straight for the rolled eyes and tutting...

(and I usually find all the oh, but... excuses and explanations a real pain, just amazed that they're really not coming out here)

i love these threads, always make me feel so much better about my friend - one example, she shouted loudly (in my friggin lounge!) to me, DH and her DH that - well MY DS is talking in sentences now and that is all down to me (she is a Speech Therapist). She knows damn well my DS is still saying basic words (they were 18mo at the time).

I actually felt sorry for her DH as he got no bloody credit for it!

ps - i dont get the point of this library debate...

Oh I'm one of these mums, I can often be heard saying 'let's go and get some booze next otherwise daddy will be very upset. B is for booze, W is for wine and now let's see how many bottles you can count to put in the trolley' (joy, this is now up to 20, excluding number 13).

I was watching DS play footballl - the kids are 6 or 7.

American mom there. Stops chatting nicely with her friend to turn around and bellow 'TAKE HIM DOWN! TAKE HIM DOWNNNNN...!'

elvis ..how do you get 90 books at a time????

Here the limit is 8 at a time for kids and 12 for adults. Our cards are valid accross the region so you use the same card in multiple libraries meaning the books are on the same acct no matter which lib you use

Night Lark I made an excuse up. But I was also judgy after that. It's only fair

We can borrow 'unlimited' books on our 3 kids library cards - so we used to borrow about 45 every three weeks (15 each) - but then, after a year or so, we found we had read nearly everything in our library.....

So now we go to the bigger one in the next town!

Do I get a prize?? A medal for services to motherhood surely?? Awww come on - it is all true

And how do you carry 90 books!!

NightLark Most people are complaining about the braggy sort of comments and passive agressive comments where they talk through the child but it's really for the benefit of someone else.

If actually take one of those parents over one that completely ignores her child and makes no effort to stimulate them, feeds them crap food and only talks to them when she's telling them off.

I was a Loud Parent last week for the first time and was a bit embarrassed later. I was in Highgate (not where I live) and was probably feeling a bit out-bugabooed with my DS (7 months) in his Graco. I was in a charity shop with a friend and choosing some books (haven't got very many baby books yet). I was telling her how my DH reads to DS every evening before bed and at the moment he is reading him poetry (trying to make the most of the time before we have to read the same book every night). I was conscious of how I was talking in a slightly too loud voice and was saying "for instance, last night it was the Jabberwocky". I could feel myself doing it but couldn't seem to stop. It was Highgate getting to me.

Then we went into Costa Coffee where literally everyone was BFing. If DS hadn't been ready for a feed I probably would have made him feed anyway just so I didn't feel left out...

My mate organised a minibus trip to see a horsey thing once, and among the passengers were a VERY posh woman and her two equally posh daughters. I think the daughters were about 12/13.

They spent the ENTIRE 90 minute journey back playing a "game" called The Parson's Cat. The game consists of saying things like "The Parson's Cat is an Adventurous Cat" and "The Parson's Cat is an Active cat" etc, taking it in turns to think of adjectives beginning with A, then when you run out you move on to B, etc.

Imagine it. Three VERY LOUD, very plummy voices drowning out EVERYONE in their desperation to show off their vocabulary. For 90 minutes. Totally oblivious to everyone else's eye rolling irritation. They will never know how lucky they were to arrive back home alive.

Very good point bubbley.

The Parson's cat is an 'Irritating little sod who poos in the veg garden'

Talking to your child = clearly good.
e.g Running commentary in supermarket which entertains you both and helps your child learn = good

Having a bellowed conversation 'with' a young toddler about the merits of Fair Trade bananas = clearly SOP (Show Off Parenting)

Entertaining though

Bubble I think you've misunderstood my comment. I don't think kids should be stuffed with choc, crisps etc.don't think anything I said above suggests this is what I think?? And I totally agree kids can eat healthily and not be underweight. I have 2 ds who are a perfect example of that.

Yes, there is definitely a Third Way FurCoat

Do agree that loud parenting is weird and attention seeking but... I talk to DD (11months) blardy loads, absolute crap mostly. Wittering on seems to be the only way to stop her showing off her wide range of raspberries, and drenching her clothes in spit. Thanks for teaching her those DH! Wish he'd put as much effort into teaching her to talk.

I do remember offering her a choice of colours of swim nappies once. Poor bloke next to me was . She was 3 months old

Sometimes..in the library..I get out [big breaths] Enid Blyton books for me to read and laugh gaily when I check them out saying loudly 'Goodness me, I can't believe DS wants to read these. I rmember them when I was his age. hahahahahahaha'.

Bubble I think you've misunderstood my comment. I don't think kids should be stuffed with choc, crisps etc.don't think anything I said above suggests this is what I think?? And I totally agree kids can eat healthily and not be underweight. I have 2 ds who are a perfect example of that.

Talking to your child = clearly good.
e.g Running commentary in supermarket which entertains you both and helps your child learn = good

Having a bellowed conversation 'with' a young toddler about the merits of Fair Trade bananas = clearly SOP (Show Off Parenting)

Entertaining though