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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate smokers

309 replies

Siennablue · 16/02/2011 20:39

I have just spent ten days in hospital with my gorgeous dd2 as she slowly recovered from pneumonia. I met lots of great doctors and nurses they were amazing. But the majority of parents were scum. Children kept being admitted with asthma, tiny children struggling to breathe. One 18 month old was on her third admission. Almost every parent smoked, and so did every person who came to visit these poor kids. Then every few hours they have to leave the kids and go for a fag. They made the ward stink.
Wouldn't you think your baby gasping for air and screaming in terror would be enough to stop you smoking?
Bloody scum

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 16/02/2011 22:08

just lately

Monty27 · 16/02/2011 22:10

Cigarette emoticon anyone??

usualsuspect · 16/02/2011 22:11

[fag]

Bunbaker · 16/02/2011 22:13

Siennablue I understand exactly where you are coming from. DD had a tracheostomy when she was samll and was admitted to the ENT ward at the local children's hospital several times. It saddened me to see that so many of the children with breathing difficulties had parents who smoked. I too find it difficult to understand why anyone wouldn't even want to try to give up for the sake of their child's health

I don't hate smokers, but I hate smoking. I watched my mother die a slow death from COPD and I wouldn't wish that on anyone

I suspect that the defensive posts on here come from smokers who feel guilty.

Mists · 16/02/2011 22:16

When was the last time that someone had to have their windows removed from their house because they were merely a forty-a-day smoker?

Or paramedics have permanently injured themselves trying to move a someone with a fag in their hand?

A gastric band is how much? Tens of thousands due to surgeon, nurse, anaesthetist, plus sick-pay then follow-up GP and drugs. That's available on the NHS for people who don't even have a chemical addition.

Smokers really are soft targets but they pay their taxes dues and they pay for it by dying sooner.

I don't feel guilty, I'm not hurting anyone else with my addiction I'm paying for things which everyone can use and maybe I won't avail myself of.

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa · 16/02/2011 22:18

YANBU

But smokers are addicts.

My relationship with my parents has suffered because they smoke.

I resent every penny they spent on fags when they could have been improving our circumstances (we were very poor when I was young).

And I hate hugging them, even nowadays, because they stink.

But they are addicts. And in denial it's ridiculously expensive, disgusting and has made their dc resent them.

C0FFEE · 16/02/2011 22:21

YABU

Years ago when most adults smoked children did not suffer from asthma anywhere near as much as they do now.

But we are not bashing smoking any more, keep up, the new evil is alcohol.

Salmotrutta · 16/02/2011 22:22

I smoke - I don't feel guilty.
I smoke in my garden, it's my little vice.
As I said earlier, I'm actually starting my trying-to-quit campaign tomorrow. But not because I feel guilty. Just because I want to live a bit longer than I might if I continue to smoke. So that I can get some benefit from the fag tax I have paid.
I'm 50 and I've never had a serious illness yet and have only been hospitalised when having the DCs so far. So I'm not yet a "drain" on any resources.

Professor · 16/02/2011 22:24

I was in Burger King at the weekend.
A 'very large' couple came in with 2 llittle DCs.

The parents had these huge drinks and burgers in front of them.

I finished my burger, went ouside for a fag.

Guess who was the one everyone was prob tutting at?

If you are going to attack smokers, who are a 'drain' on the NHS, at least consider the cost to the NHS that obese people have.

Clunge · 16/02/2011 22:25

I smoke. I have children. I smoke in the garden. Problem solved. Don't tar us all with the same brush. Smoking is a dirty habit, I admit. But I enjoy smoking. My bad.

Mists · 16/02/2011 22:25

Salmo, good post.

Best of luck

Bunbaker · 16/02/2011 22:25

Mists just because you aren't obese doesn't mean it's OK to smoke. I don't accept that as a valid argument to justify your smoking.

I hated my parents smoking. It is one of the reasons I hate it so much. Like YouMakeMeWannaLala I resented their filthy habit that ultimately killed them both.

GiddyPickle · 16/02/2011 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mists · 16/02/2011 22:32

Bunbaker you're right in what you say, I agree. But smokers are a soft target and we do contribute a lot in comparison. See Professor's post too.

OhForKuckingFuntsSake · 16/02/2011 22:34

yabu

it's all been said.

and scum? really?

GiddyPickle · 16/02/2011 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 16/02/2011 22:41

cofee - years ago yes, most adults smoked. but most kids didn't spend as much time with them, and certainly not cooped up in the house or car. Kids would be playing out all day every day. so probably didn't get exposed to as much second hand smoke. then of course there were probably fewer chemicals and other pollutants too. they make a hell of a difference.

but re the smoking is bad for your kids thing - Look. there's no point getting pissed off, folks. You might as well get pissed off when someone tells you water is wet.

smoking is not good for you
smoking is not good for your children - unless you are washing your hair and clothes after each fag or staying away from the kids for 2 hours after each fag - you are exposing them to the fags! those chemicals linger. Just because you don't want to hear it doesn't make it not true. Just because you feel attacked or criticised as parents doesn't make it not true.

just because there are other things that are also bad for people, doesn't make smoking or being exposed to smoke not bad for people.

reality is, it's not good for you and it's not good for your kids. fact. no need to get defensive, you know this to be true.

I know this to be true as an on again off again on again smoker. (currently off again) I did the most horrendous thing - I smoked during my pregnancy with my second child. I am deeply ashamed of it and firmly convinced it's why he has asthma. I hate myself for it. But my point is - I knew the risks (as do you all) and I put my desire for a fag above all that. I hate myself for that but I would not attack someone for pointing out that I was selfish and took a big risk and am probably responsible for my son's health problem. Because I know this to be true. It might hurt to hear it though.

People don't like to be forced to remember what they are doing when they smoke.

ivykaty44 · 16/02/2011 22:44

You don't need to ask the parents if they smoke, you know they smoke as the smell is around them it clings to their clothes.

Having spent two days with my dd on a childrens ward i could smell the parents that smoked and that included my dd's father.

When I was admitted myself last year the three young ladies on the ward had nicotine patches stuck on them by the sister, to stop them from going outside and having a fag. it was great as they stopped coming back and stinking the ward out.

If you want to smoke fine - but don't expect everyone to like the stink around you afterwards.

Think you don't stink - I have had people tell me they don't smell, what do you want me to say..? I am afraid you do and its as bad as BO.

Think it doesn't harm a baby when you pick the baby up and the cloths you are wearing stink of fags and then the baby stinks of fags and the smell, it is poisonous chemicals traces yes but would you dab arsnic on your babys neck each night - just a little?

crazypanda · 16/02/2011 22:46

housesuit,you need to get real,its vile and the smell makes me want to chuck up!.

Salmotrutta · 16/02/2011 22:48

Maybe we should start bashing women who don't breastfeed eh?
No?? Thought not.
But apparently that's another thing that can have health implications so surely you judge them too OP?
I must be awful cos I also had to FF our DD due to problems. What with that and my smoking I must be going straight to hell.
Although I did BF our DS so maybe I clawed back some brownie points

Professor · 16/02/2011 22:50

T be perfectly honest, OP, I think and understand, that you are angry about your DC's illnes. And who wouldn't be?

But you are venting your anger on a group in society that is an easy target.

You are looking for someone or something to vent your anger on. You have latched onto smokers. We can all appreciate your anger over this horrible situation, but other parents choosing to smoke did not cause this to happen to your DC, so I do think you are being unreasonable.

LadyOfTheManor · 16/02/2011 22:50

Some smokers wear "smoking jackets/jumpers" and go outside then remove that jumper when coming back in. This isn't harming anyone but the smoker.

Get off your high horse.

YABVU

crazypanda · 16/02/2011 22:51

poor child!.

ivykaty44 · 16/02/2011 22:52

smokers get very defensive and then attack

Are you going to hell because you smoke? No you will go to heaven as you will most likely have a premature death and save thee NHS thousands if you carry on smoking

Salmotrutta · 16/02/2011 22:53

What I forgot to point out in my last post (which was the whole point of the post actually) was that I hate judgementalism (is that a word??). That's my point.
I don't go around pointing fingers at others so don't apply your judgements to me either.

That's all.

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