To hate smokers

[Siennablue]

I have just spent ten days in hospital with my gorgeous dd2 as she slowly recovered from pneumonia. I met lots of great doctors and nurses they were amazing. But the majority of parents were scum. Children kept being admitted with asthma, tiny children struggling to breathe. One 18 month old was on her third admission. Almost every parent smoked, and so did every person who came to visit these poor kids. Then every few hours they have to leave the kids and go for a fag. They made the ward stink.
Wouldn't you think your baby gasping for air and screaming in terror would be enough to stop you smoking?
Bloody scum

thought so.

I hate smokers with a passion, thanks to people smoking around me when I was little, I developed asthma when I was two years old.

I hate using the word, but those who refuse to move into a position where others/the child isn't affected by the smoke, are scum.

Those who do make an effort to make sure the child/others aren't around though, kudos to them even if I don't like smoking, as I understand it's hard to stop.

yukana how can you know your asthma was caused by people smoking? genuine question BTW.

It must be nice to be so free of bad habits that you can sit and judge people .
Smoking is an addiction and it's when smokers are in stressful situations that we smoke even more , I have a six month old and I still smoke less than five a day but smoking all the same I do I at the bottom of the garden when he is sfely asleep in his cot for a couple of hours , in the early days with pnd and sleepless nights I think I would have gone mad without the odd fag , I'm not trying to justify it just trying to show that it's not all that easy and to see your dc in that situation would make you want to smoke more and it's because your addicted not because your a bad person (I do think that people who hang over their kids prams smoking are scum . Though)
I hope your dd gets better soon

My mother and grandparents, plus my mother's friends smoked around me when I was a child. She stopped smoking a few years ago now, something I am not only grateful for, but am proud of her. It broke my heart to see her smoke and also made me angry, as we were poor and couldn't really afford it.

No worries, I don't mind you asking Booy.

whatnamechange what you don't/can't know now is the fags don't help your stress - they probably cause a huge amount of it, ESPECIALLY if you are 'just' smoking 5 a day. In between those fags your body is screaming for nicotine - that is really physiologically stressful.

Yes it is an addiction, but you can stop, there is loads of support available, much of it is free.

When you are a smoker it feels like stopping is the most difficult thing to do in the world, whereas actually you can be largely free from the physical addiction in just three days. Seriously THREE DAYS!!!!!!! And jumping for joy you will be too.

Allen Carr's Easyway to Stop Smoking worked for me (after 17 years of heavy smoking) and lots of friends - total cost £6.99. Quality of life improvement - priceless.

A friend of mine has recently successfully stopped with a drug prescribed by his doctor - now 4 months without a fag and off the drugs for sometime too.

I know, I am a really annoying ex-smoker, but we are so annoying because we KNOW!!! And we are largely quite pissed off that we were addicts for so many years, so unnecessarily.

Please don't set yourself up for failure by buying into the "I'm an addict and beyond help" bullshit.

When I tried to quit (for about the 4th time) about a few years back I tried Allan Carr........I got the the end and was like WTF?? and went and had a fag to try and figure out what it was trying to do.

Did you know though that you can't cry while smoking a fag

baroque

It's an Easyway for lots of people, but not the Onlyway!

That's true.

It doesn't actually relax you. Your body is craving the drug. You give your body the drug. It stops the craving because you've had the fix. You interpret this as it 'relaxing' you and say that smoking is relaxing.

No. What's relaxing about it is getting your fix has stopped the withdrawal symptoms.

Exactly Hectate - how it took me 17 years to know that is shocking.

All addicts will bend the truth about how much/many and how hamful it is. It's as much for themselves as others.

Smokers are addicts.

I muhc prefer a smoker who admits it and tries to minimise the harm to others, than those who are lying to themselves.

my mum who smoked very heavily used to ask those who minimise the consequences how they would feel if their children smoked.

Would they still be saying, oh well, didn't hurt ninety year old Aunt Bessie. Or will tey go to bed each night bricking it about cancer, heart and lung disease?

How will they feel if its their grand children?

I hate people who spray air freshner liberally all around their homes (or use those awlful plug in ones) and other cleaning products with synthetic fragrances, and people who live in cities near busy roads.

These things are also likely to exacerbate (or bring on) asthma.

Meant to add - feel sorry for their poor kids.

Non smoker btw.

i was diagnosed with asthma at 2. my dad was a smoker. his smoke definitely triggered attacks but i was too young to articulate that. i remember he would wind down the car window but the smoke would still waft back.

i keep myself fit and even have a peak flow above predicted average due to the work i do to keep myself healthy but if a smoker sits next to me on the tube i imediately feel my lungs twitching. being around cigarette smoke will trigger a sensitivity in my lungs that means for several hours other things that would normally be fine to be around will make me wheezy too (e.g. strong perfumes, dust etc).

i don't hate smokers. i think they are victims of an addiction. unless they have been living in a bubble they know the damage they are causing themselves and others deep down but their need/desire for nicotine creates such a strong cognitive dissonance that they will find anything to reconcile it and so continue with their destructive addiction.

To address the thread title isn't it like the Golden Rule of parenting?

YABVU to dislike the child and say so but YANBU to dislike the negative behaviour.

I love the name, SMASHINGNARCISSISTSMIRRORS!

thanks mummiehunnie.

A few smokers have given the argument that years ago loads of people smoked yet the rate of asthma in kids was lower. Well, kids were never IN years ago. When they weren't at school they were out playing. No such things as kids' telly during the day time and no video or computer games. Kids played out and got fresh air and so avoided mmuch of the cigarette smoke anyway.

I agree also about harsh cleaning chemicals. My mum has a cleaner and I was round at her house chatting to both of them while she was wiping down the tops with some Mr Muscle thing and god, the FUMES that were coming off. Making my eyes water and the skin on my face kind of itch.

As for evil air fresheners, their unnatural chemical smell is disgusting.

Here it is...I smoke, 12-15 a day, have done for 15 years, have 3 children, last one was born 5 weeks early, difficult last week of pg in out of hospital, missed my other 2 dreadfully. Was a very traumatic time. My doc's all told me not to give up at this time as I was already under severe amount of pressure, and long history of depression. Have tried several times over last 18 months to give up, each resulting in me feeling suicidal, have walked out on dp and kids, have thrown dp out etc.
What is more harmful to my childrens health??? a suicidal maniac of a mother, or one who every couple of hours nips outside for a quick cig whilst they are busy playing and is calm comes back happy ready for the next 2 hour shift?

How dare anyone judge anyone with regards to 'If you truly loved your children'...do you give your child sweets? happy meals? crisps? biscuits? or do you keep them in a bubble away from anything that may ever harm them...if you do good luck, roll on teenage years when you are soooo gonna regret that.

sorry..get so pissed off with the whole topic. Going for a fag now and it's not even been 2 hours...

Just to had, I do hate the fact that I smoke, I would rather spend the money on something else, and I dont want my children to follow mysef as a smoker, I will try to stop again at soem point I will succeed.

Trina, no-one is having a go at smokers who make every effort to stop, in very difficult circumstances and who know that it is a bad habit/costly etc. What non-smokers get really pissed off with is the attitude of smokers who deny it's doing their health or their children's health any harm, who claim the taxes from smoking help the NHS out, and who think they have a god-given right to pollute the air that non-smokers have to walk through because they enjoy it.

hey,housesuit.
i'd rather be a smoker,than a bigoted judgemental person.

But I do enjoy smoking...probably why I find it so hard to give up, also my 5 minute break every couple of hours is probably the only peace I get all day!

My son has been to a&e with bronciolitis 4 times, I always felt so guilty and tried so hard not to smoke, dreaded the 'do you smoke' Q by the doctor. But I didn't leave him alone to go out for a fag, I'd wait until someone popped in to see us, have mints brush my teeth sit outside longer than it took to smoke etc, nearly in tears because I felt sooo bad, which then made me want another.

I do now look at pg women smoking and want to describe to them how I felt when my DD was prem or DS was in hospital. However I know they will be thinking 'won't happen to me' same as every person who drives on mobile, etc etc

I don't hate smokers but I love the smoking ban. It's the one thing that has improved our quality of life and probably prolonged the life of DH. He works in clubs and til when it kicked in he used to come home stinking of smoke. Now he just stinks of man smell!