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Original poster

how much sexual harrassment from other/older boys should a 10 year old girl get?

165 replies

whatkatydidathome · 15/02/2011 16:35

dd (a young 10 year old) is being asked for hand jobs etc on the bus by boys (12 - 13 year old plus one in her class). I don't think that they are serious but teasing however she is not at all comfortable with it (does not know the facts of life in that kind of detail). Is it reasonable to complain to the school?

OP posts:
melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 12:12

OMG, some of posters really do live in their own world. I suggest you, yes, you who have never set foot on a public bus at 3.30pm, get real. It is chaos. They are fighting, throwing things out of windows, swearing, general leg-pulling and anything sexual is fair game to say. So grow up.

TangledScotland · 16/02/2011 12:18

I have a 13yr old son and if he did this i'd kill him! Boys his age do joke about sex and listening to him and his friends its all very childish and fairly inoscent.

However! huge difference between trying to out shock your mates and sexually harrassing a little girl, if the school does not take it seriously I would be straight down to local police station.

manicbmc · 16/02/2011 12:19

I am grown up thanks. I travel on the bus most days. A bit of banter between similar aged teens is one thing but for a 10 yr old it is intimidating and wrong.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 16/02/2011 12:22

Well said manic. I have been on the bus with older children (13-17) and heard that sort of thing, but for younger children it is horrible.
I really think you are living in a different time space continuum to the rest of the posters melikalikamela. I am very glad you are not my Mum.

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 12:24

Once again, I didn't say it is acceptable but next year she will be at secondary school.
Btw have heard girls at it too.

Will OP be there in the playground (where anything goes) to protect her delicate ears?

I don't think so.

It's a bad, bad world out there, as I tell my 11yr old DS.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 16/02/2011 12:28

You didn't say it was acceptable, but implied that it was unavoidable.
I do hope you are teaching your DS to respect women. Not just women, other people.

manicbmc · 16/02/2011 12:28

It's not about protecting her ears. A young 10 is yr5. It is just wrong. Anyone having to put up with it is wrong. That's why we have laws fgs.

So she should just put up and shut up about feeling intimidated? I despair.

Could stay and argue the point all day but I must go and get on a bus to go to work (in a school where that would not be tolerated at all).

coldtits · 16/02/2011 12:29

To answer your title - none. None at all.

coldtits · 16/02/2011 12:30

Go to the bus stop with her, tell her to pretend not to know you. If/when they start, shout "She's a 10 year old little girl, You paedo, what's the matter with you? Can't you find a girl your own age?"

MissVerinder · 16/02/2011 12:33

Coldtits- I like it!

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 12:33

If your memory is failing, I said it was not acceptable and should do all she can to stop it but it probably won't make an iota of difference in the outcome. It's a sad true fact. Bye have a nice journey!

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 12:34

I also like Coldtits answer.

chipmonkey · 16/02/2011 13:04

When I read the OP, my immediate thought was
NONE! There is NO acceptable level of sexual harrassment of any girl, woman or person, for that matter.

melika, because it is out there does not mean that we have to lie down and accept it. I am fairly confident none of my sons beahve like this but if they did, I would string them up!

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 13:07

So would I!

TyraG · 16/02/2011 13:13

Actually melikalikimaka you are in a sense saying it's okay. You said she would have to deal with it and that is how they talk to each other.

So basically in your world, women and children who are abused, bullied, sexually harassed/molested should just learn to shut up and deal with it.

I sincerely hope you don't have any kids or if you do, I hope they're smart enough to know that you're full of shit.

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

TyraG · 16/02/2011 13:20

Whatever helps you deal with your psychosis dear.

ErnestTheBavarian · 16/02/2011 13:24

is calling a 12 year old boy a 'paedo' an acceptable way to help said 12 year old boy what's an acceptable way to behave and talk????

At 12 he is still also a young child too. They are totally out of order but need disciplining and teaching appropriate behaviour.

I don't think an adult yelliong abuse and calling a child a 'paedo' is acceptable. Alos totally incorrect. A 'paedo' is an adult who gets sexual gratification from a child. All parties involved are children.

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 13:25

Lets get our psychology books out that we did for our degree, shall we? I think we should leave you to yours. You were nasty first, remember?

Blah de blah, let's put what everyone wants to hear, not what is the blunt truth.

ZZZenAgain · 16/02/2011 13:25

if it is "out there", it will always be still out there if people do nothing about it and claim that girls must simply put up with it because that is the way it is.

Nothing in the world would ever have changed for the better with that attitude.

How can anyone think a 10 year old girl should have to put up with sexual talk of this nature? It's beyond unbelievable

charitygirl · 16/02/2011 13:25

That is, in fact, exactly what you said melika. It's just how boys are, innit?

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 13:28

Innit? What's that?

No 10 year old should put up with it, I agree.

No argument here.Hmm

coldtits · 16/02/2011 13:36

Calling a 12 year old boy a 'paedo' might stop hi,m sexually harassing little girls, which is indeed what paedophiles do.

melikalikimaka · 16/02/2011 13:39

OP complain to the school and let us know what the outcome is, please. God only knows why you didn't do that before you posted on here!

MissVerinder · 16/02/2011 14:03

coldtits, ITA. Plus, they would know what the word means. Alternatively, you could hit them with a swathe of incomprehensible psychobabble which will leave them clueless.

Somebody needs to do something about it.