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Original poster

how much sexual harrassment from other/older boys should a 10 year old girl get?

165 replies

whatkatydidathome · 15/02/2011 16:35

dd (a young 10 year old) is being asked for hand jobs etc on the bus by boys (12 - 13 year old plus one in her class). I don't think that they are serious but teasing however she is not at all comfortable with it (does not know the facts of life in that kind of detail). Is it reasonable to complain to the school?

OP posts:
Original poster
whatkatydidathome · 15/02/2011 18:06

meant to say "doesn't look 12" Blush

OP posts:
Honeybee79 · 15/02/2011 18:07

Fucking hell. Please complain to the school asap. Your poor DD.

mumbar · 15/02/2011 18:12

I agree about complaining. I remember how uncomfortable it is when other children talk about sexual things especially when you don't understand. (when I was a child obv).

I agree with chickens it may not be sexual or provocative but they have to know it is wrong.

Unrulysun · 15/02/2011 18:54

I'm a senior leader in a secondary school in a deprived area of London (so not a place where we're not used to 'behaviour' by any means) and we would exclude for this - probably for 3-5 days.

They know exactly what they are saying and it is sexual bullying. Horrible horrible. It also speaks of a culture where this kind of thing is OK and pressure is put on girls to perform sex acts etc. It needs to be nipped in the bud sharply now. I can't believe that any headteacher would not recognise this.

Ask for an appointment with the headteacher and head of year and let them know that you are taking this very seriously. Get a copy of the anti-bullying policy and read it carefully too. My blood is boiling that anyone would not take this seriously because she isn't being physically assaulted. Angry

Teenybitsad · 15/02/2011 19:00

I woul bloody make her point them out and then scare the shit out of them..little arses...I bet they would not say it to an older girl.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/02/2011 19:19

Absolutely none, OP. As already suggested, make a big fuss with the school, this is really unacceptable.

As an aside, what does YY mean?

Diisamuppet · 15/02/2011 19:23

you really need to make a complaint about this.... its disgusting behavior for any child to endure ,...

RamblingRosa · 15/02/2011 19:27

Your poor DD :( I dread the day when my DD has to deal with this sort of shit. You should absolutely kick up all kinds of hell for the school/council/bus company/boys' parents. Hopefully it will put a stop to the behaviour but it will also send your daughter the message that this isn't acceptable and it's not just something she'll have to put up with because she's a girl.

There was a survey recently - think it might have been End Violence Against Women or maybe WomanKind. It was a survey of school kids about sexual harrassment and bullying. The results were pretty shocking. It makes me so angry that girls have to put up with this kind of harrassment at any age but particularly when they're as young as your DD.

I really hope you get it sorted out and that your DD is ok.

StarlightPrincess · 15/02/2011 19:28

None at all. I used to get a lot of sexual harassment at primary and secondary school and it's horrible. Your poor DD. Definitely complain and make some noise about it because it's just not acceptable.

MadamDeathstare · 15/02/2011 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 15/02/2011 20:08

Lying - it means yes, yes, I agree with you

StayFrosty · 15/02/2011 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 15/02/2011 20:14

Ugh StayFrosty. We walk past the Senior school on the way home from DSs school and I see some (a few) boys who have their arms draped round two girls like the big I am. Hear talk about who gave so and so a blow job.

chandellina · 15/02/2011 20:31

Stay Frosty, what an awful story - no one should have to put up with that in their place of work, much less from children who are meant to obey them and show respect.

LittleMissHissyFit · 15/02/2011 20:52

StayFrosty Shock Stuff that, I'd advise the teachers to call the POLICE!

As others have said there is no permissible level of sexual harassment, at any age. It needs to be stopped at every age, in the appropriate manner.

Boys need to be told in no uncertain terms that comments and behaviour such as these are totally unacceptable.

If any of us were to have a week of comments like this at work, the perpetrator would be FIRED.

jenga079 · 15/02/2011 21:09

OP, keep complaining and complain LOUDLY until something is done. If your daughter knows the names of the pupils involved it should be easier for the school to follow up, but if not the school should let her look through recent photos of their pupils so that she can identify them.

One of my year 10 pupils said something like this to me a couple of years ago. He was excluded, his parents were called into school, and it was made absolutely clear to them and him that this was considered sexual harassment and that if there was any repeat of it his exclusion would be made permanent.

The fact this is being said to a ten year old should be taken even more seriously. If the school doesn't respond, call your local community police officer.

jenga079 · 15/02/2011 21:10

And StayFrosty, that's outrageous and not at all normal. Your friend needs to change schools or complain to her union!!

LessNarkyPuffin · 15/02/2011 21:19

Complain and if the school don't take you seriously try the police.

dittany · 15/02/2011 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordsmithsforever · 15/02/2011 21:49

A friend of mine taught at a secondary school a few years ago. She was so frustrated at the level of this kind of harassment that her female pupils had to put up with. She took firm action wherever she could but she said it had become so endemic in the school's culture, it was a losing battle. She's teaching abroad now. It's wrong and infuriating and needs to be dealt with. The fact that someone's 10 yo DD is expected by anyone to put up with this when it would be jumped on so fast in a workplace is why I'm a feminist.

onceamai · 15/02/2011 21:51

NONE. Zero tolerance is required from all adults concerned.

fishtankneedscleaning · 15/02/2011 22:08

How is your DD (aged 10) on the same bus as 12 year olds? In my area children leave primary school at age 11. Confused

Diamondback · 15/02/2011 22:51

I don't think these boys are future sex offenders - they're just obnoxious little turds pushing the boundaries and seeing what they can get away with. But it's never too early for them to learn that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and won't be tolerated.

Don't be fobbed off by any school/council employees who don't know how to deal with the situation and so want to minimise it.

brass · 15/02/2011 23:21

None FGS!

hmc · 15/02/2011 23:25

I agree Diamond - not future sex offenders, just silly, immature and with hormones racing. I remember the boys at school going through a catch a girl and grope her boobs stage at this age [ick!]. It is however grossly inappropriate and they need to understand this, so a complaint is entirely appropriate