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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad for these kids?

140 replies

EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 17:50

I'm a drama teacher, and am about to put on this year's school play. We've got 35 kids involved, and they have been working their socks off - we've even been in school today. Without exception, they are having a great time, and are putting an incredible effort in. However, over the last week or so, I have had to realise how many of them get absolutely no support from home with stuff like this - parents not willing to drop their kids at school for the evening performances because they "don't want to have to hang around and wait for them", parents who aren't going to come and watch their children perform, and aren't giving them any praise or encouragement at home. It upsets them, and I think it's really sad. I went to pick up 4 girls from home this morning - one mother doesn't drive (no problem with that), but the others had to "go out" so it was a case of me picking them up, or them not being able to come. I don't mind doing the lifts - I just think it's a shame that their parents are so disinterested in something their DCs are a) enthusiastic about, b) really good at, and c) working really hard on.

OP posts:
nickschick · 13/02/2011 17:51

And posting about it on here will help?

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 17:52

What an odd thing to say. Just wondered if I'm being a bit precious about it, really.

OP posts:
activate · 13/02/2011 17:52

yes because parents should live their lives based on your schedule eviltwins

why is that

if I can't take one of my children somewhere it is inevitably because I'm a wastrel chav rather than have other stuff to do

compo · 13/02/2011 17:52

Well it's Sunday so they probably had family things on
or siblings footie matches, parties etc
going outin the evening is a pita if you have got younger ones at home
or maybe they wanted to go to church today or just rest because they work a 70 hour week from tomorrow
you just don't know

bulby · 13/02/2011 17:53

No nicks but it feels good to vent.

LADYBOAK · 13/02/2011 17:53

Nickshit-if you have nothing nice to say, the best option is to say nothing Hmm

compo · 13/02/2011 17:54

IMO a school play shouldbe rehearsed in school time
is it a private school you're on about?
Don't feel sorry for my kids because they're not in every club after school going
save your pity for hungry, cold ones

pagwatch · 13/02/2011 17:56

Can I ask how you know they are not getting any support of encouragement?

Dd is doing a dance thing at school this week and I probably can't go. But nothing to do with disinterest. I really can't
But I have watched her practice and got her costume sorted.

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 17:56

compo - is that not my point? If they're able to drop siblings at footie matches, thereby being supportive parents, why are they not able to drop other DCs at school, thereby being supportive parents? I'm not moaning about it from my own perspective, but I think it's sad when a 16 year old says something like "Mum knows I'm not thick, so she just leaves me to it really"

OP posts:
VanityRocks · 13/02/2011 17:56

That's sad.Poor kids.Can't stand parents who don't make an effort.

nickschick · 13/02/2011 17:56

Its Nicks CHICK actually and I dont think any responsible teacher would be on here 'venting' about the lack of parental support on a Sunday.

Families have lives you know.

Eglu · 13/02/2011 17:57

I thinnk YANBU. There is a difference between parents being busy, and parents taking no interest in their DCs activities.

LibraPoppyGirl · 13/02/2011 17:57

If the OP has observed that some of the kids are a bit upset by their parents lack of interest, then why not post it on here?

YANBU - it isn't nice for the kids and it is a shame. I don't know that there is anything you can do about it, other than what you are doing, which putting yourself out to make sure they are still included in something they obviously enjoy doing.

Good for you Smile

JoBettany · 13/02/2011 17:58

Wow OP - you've touched a nerve.

BitOfFun · 13/02/2011 17:58

I think you means uninterested, not disinterested (if you don't mind me pointing it out? I just think it's important to know the difference if you're a teacher- but feel free to tell me to bog off).

It's a tricky one, but you don't get to see the whole family dynamic, so you can't judge from the snapshot you've been given. I haven't always been able to attend school productions, special assemblies etc., but the kids still enjoy participating. I don't think that means I don't give a shit.

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 17:58

pag - it's not all of them. The ones I'm talking about have said that they are sad about it, as they feel that their parents don't care.

compo - most of it has been rehearsed in school time. Unfortunately, 30 mins at lunch time and/or an hour after school isn't a long enough slot to run a 2 hour show.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 13/02/2011 17:59

they are 16???? they can get themselves there!

atswimtwolengths · 13/02/2011 17:59

I can't believe the replies on here!

I used to love teachers like you, EvilTwins. For a child to have a teacher who enjoys spending time with them and who wants to give them fabulous new experiences is wonderful.

To be honest, I'm not surprised about the parents' lack of interest. I teach too, and find that parents are either really interested, turning up to every parents' evening, emailing me if they're worried about their child's progress, etc, or completely uninterested. I can't believe how many parents couldn't say which A levels their children have taken and how many plan holidays just prior to exams etc - it just shows a lack of interest that must be very depressing to live with.

gordyslovesheep · 13/02/2011 17:59

yabu sorry some parents have jobs and more than 1 child - it isn;t always easy to be in 2 or 3 places at once amazingly

yes all parents should be 110% supportive of everything their child does every hour of every day - but the vast majority of parents are human - not some kind of Japanese love robot

compo · 13/02/2011 17:59

You've missed my point
if you take the kids to football every Sunday morning that's a commitment
as drama has been rehearsed all week why should the footie playing sibling miss practise because us parents can't be in two places at once

compo · 13/02/2011 18:01

I do admire your commitment by the way but I think it's sad you judge the parents for not bringing 16 year olds to rehearse on a Sunday morning
maybe the teenagers didn't want to get up?!

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 18:03

compo - it's a one-off, and the show is on Tuesday. And the kids are really enjoying it. Oh, and being in the show is also a commitment.

maddy - they're not all 16. The 4 I picked up are in Yr 7. The older ones did get themselves there, but it doesn't stop them from wishing that their parents were a bit more encouraging and enthusiastic about what they're doing.

Perhaps I didn't explain it well enough. These kids have been working hard on this for weeks. I think all they want is a "well done - we're really proud of you", and a lot of them aren't getting that, and that's what I think is sad.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 13/02/2011 18:03

DD plays football, netball and rugby for her school, I have never watched a match as I am at work. It's not that I don't take an interest - I ring her before each match and really encourage her, and am delighted when she wins. Just because I am unable to physically be there cheering her on from the sidelines doesn't mean I don't care, or that I am not as pleased as punch and proud of her when she does well.

I am sure she would like me to watch her matches, but she is not daft and knows that I have to work. I don't feel guilty about it.

activate · 13/02/2011 18:04

you have to pick up 16 year olds - seriously?

wtf?

activate · 13/02/2011 18:04

As an aside

you are not insured for picking up students in your own car

You really shouldn't do that - it lays you open to many potential concerns

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