Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad for these kids?

140 replies

EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 17:50

I'm a drama teacher, and am about to put on this year's school play. We've got 35 kids involved, and they have been working their socks off - we've even been in school today. Without exception, they are having a great time, and are putting an incredible effort in. However, over the last week or so, I have had to realise how many of them get absolutely no support from home with stuff like this - parents not willing to drop their kids at school for the evening performances because they "don't want to have to hang around and wait for them", parents who aren't going to come and watch their children perform, and aren't giving them any praise or encouragement at home. It upsets them, and I think it's really sad. I went to pick up 4 girls from home this morning - one mother doesn't drive (no problem with that), but the others had to "go out" so it was a case of me picking them up, or them not being able to come. I don't mind doing the lifts - I just think it's a shame that their parents are so disinterested in something their DCs are a) enthusiastic about, b) really good at, and c) working really hard on.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 13/02/2011 18:20

Yabu

as a shift worker I frequently miss school things as they just don't give me enough notice to rearrange my shifts.

BitOfFun · 13/02/2011 18:21

LadyThumb you are wrong Grin

activate · 13/02/2011 18:23

I would be interested in how your knuckles would be wrapped though

a nice glittery golden bow? red spotted paper?

BitOfFun · 13/02/2011 18:23

Disinterested: impartial.
Example: Let a disinterested person judge our dispute. (an impartial person)

Uninterested: not interested in.
Example: This man is uninterested in our dispute. (couldn't care less)

EvilTwins, please excuse that little hijack.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 13/02/2011 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun · 13/02/2011 18:24

And, er, it's 'rap', not 'wrap'.

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 18:29

ENormaSnob (love the name)

I'm not objecting to parents having other commitments at all. I think it's a shame that the kids feel that their parents don't care. You may not have been able to get to school things, but I bet you said well done, or good luck or whatever.

OP posts:
RunAwayWife · 13/02/2011 18:31

It is sad that parents do not support what their children do

BaadRobot · 13/02/2011 18:33

How bizarre. The OP sounds like my DD's drama teacher....big play this coming week, starts on Tuesday....

FWIW we have been very supportive of my DD needing to go to drama at school at weekends and even though she is a Yr 7, we are only 10 mins walk away and she gets herself there and back. Although - the evening performances don't finish until 10.30pm so we will be dropping her off / picking her up then. My DD is one of the 'crew' rather than one of the 'cast' btw.

It is sad to read that some parents are not interested/supportive at all.

YANBU (Oh I so want to say your name, but then would be embarrassed if you are not in fact my DD's teacher!) Grin

BitOfFun · 13/02/2011 18:35

EvilTwin, I bet you're regretting all those Friday night sex threads now Grin

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 18:35

BaadRobot - we don't have any Yr 7 crew members! So not me.

OP posts:
Shallishanti · 13/02/2011 18:35

Blimey, OP, don't people like to put you in your place!
YADNBU and I'm sure you fully appreciate that many parents are fully supportive and encouraging even if they can't help in practical ways all the time- some posters here are protesting too much, for sure.
Also I don't think people realise what a huge amount of work goes into school productions, which is ON TOP OF, not in place of, other teaching commitments - it's not done for your own amusement! (though it sounds like you enjoy it)
And why do people assume you would be so stupid as to invalidate your car insurance?

Poor kids, I say, but at least someone- you- is taking an interest.

well done Smile

activate · 13/02/2011 18:37

its not about invalidating car insurance it's about putting teachers at risk of accusation

muminthemiddle · 13/02/2011 18:38

Op-I don't think YABU. Fair enough if parents are genuinely working but otherwise you should show an interest in your kids.
If you are not at work then why not take your kids to the rehersal?

backwardpossom · 13/02/2011 18:38

All I would say is, as another teacher, don't take the kids at face value when they say their parents don't care. Believe me, they often do, but kids don't like to admit it! Wink

I'm surprised at the reaction you've had here though! I don't think you are being unreasonable - maybe you've touched a nerve...

NonnoMum · 13/02/2011 18:39

Evil - the thread was so fast moving that the extra info ('bout the kids ages) came after I posted.

Good luck with your play. You will probably find that it will all come together and be wonderful (which play is it btw?) This is probably just the doldrums before it all gets up and going...

And, kids exaggerate. All those who are claiming their parents won't come, well, I bet you'll find that MOST of the parents DO come.

Just don't expect them to be too enamored with a 9.30 start on a Sunday.

onimolap · 13/02/2011 18:39

I think it is indeed very sad if parents are nit taking an interest.

I do not see that logistical difficulties with actvities outside school hours is necessarily an indication of lack of interest.

Hulababy · 13/02/2011 18:39

DD's school does an annual junior show/play and they had several rehearsals once a week after school and two big rehearsals for a few hours on a Sunday. There was one Sunday we could't do due to a prior engagement (a family wedding). However we supposrted DD in all the others and we were happy to do so. DD loves drama, it is her favourite activiy, and we recognise that, so support her in the same way we'd be prepared to take her to sports matches of football or hockey, etc were her thing.

Soe responses on here suprise me tbh and are very harsh.

I bet most would thing nothing of being expected to drive their child to a football match on a weekend, or sports events They are rarely in school time ime.

IMO this is no different.

And yes, i can understand your frustration and especially the frustration of the childrne involved.

So long as sufficient notice is given I can't see the problem.

activate · 13/02/2011 18:41

yeah I'll admit she touched a few of my nerves:

the nerve that someone who doesn't know our situation is judging us because we don't fit in with her plans.

the nerve that a teacher would believe everything that comes out of the mouth of a teenager

Hulababy · 13/02/2011 18:41

Some smug correction of spelling and grammar going on too I see Hmm

Deaddei · 13/02/2011 18:42

Year 7s should be able to get to a rehearsal under their own steam.How do they get to school during the week?
Ds who is 11 gets the bus all over SW London for Sunday league football-I have to take his sister for a music lesson at that time.

BitOfFun · 13/02/2011 18:42

Where?

Deaddei · 13/02/2011 18:44

Is that for me Bof?

Memoo · 13/02/2011 18:46

Actually you can be insured for transporting pupils in your own vehicle. All I had to do was inform my insurance company and get permission for the parents.

Original poster
EvilTwins · 13/02/2011 18:46

activate - that's really harsh.

And actually, some of this has come out of the mouths of parents.

One phone call this week went along the lines of

Me: Hello, as I'm sure you know, your daughter has a part in the school play, which is next week. She's doing really well with it. She wanted me to call you though, as she's not sure whether you'll be able to drop her off for the show on Tuesday evening. She'll need to be here about 6.

Dad of child: Oh, really? Well, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet.

Me: OK. Well, she asked whether I'd be able to sort out transport, as she's nervous about getting the bus on her own in the evening.

Dad: You can come and get her then. If I decide to come and see the play, then I might be able to take her home that day. But I haven't decided yet.

This is a Yr 7 girl with a main part, who has worked very hard. I wouldn't want my 11 yr old daughter getting the public bus after dark where she lives either.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread