Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poll: Prefer to be called Christian name or Mrs by children

341 replies

Mrsredoneslast · 13/02/2011 10:56

By request.
Do you prefer to be called by your christian name or by your "title"..Mrs, Ms etc...by children (acquiantances's children/ dc's school friends etc)

So which

A)christian name

or

B) "title"
?

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 14/02/2011 17:27

Cantspell, I wasn't saying I wanted my son's friends to call me Dr! I don't! But, in the context of this discussion, they can't call me Mrs as I am not a Mrs, that's all I was saying.

SE13Mummy · 14/02/2011 19:00

A, without a doubt.

However, I'm a primary school teacher at a school where we use title + surname... if I have to go by my title I expect to be called Mrs SE13, I don't answer to Miss SE13 or to Miss.

DD1 is at my school so I often get called Mrs DD1's Mummy.

QOD · 14/02/2011 19:09

A

WhiteRose26 · 14/02/2011 19:25

I actually don't like either - using my first name sounds too familiar but using "Mrs ..." is far too formal.
I was brought up to call my parents' friends auntie and uncle, which I found fine when called this by my godchildren when they were younger, but now they are teenagers I find it odd.

Most of my children's friends use my first name, which I put up with.

Like others, I really hate cold callers/salespeople/doctors' receptionists calling me by my first name - I'm not your friend so keep a professional distance. Apart from which, I don't like my full first name.

Think I'm turning into a grumpy old woman.

SherbetDibDab · 14/02/2011 20:03

A - First name - I also cringe slightly at Christian name.

tralalala · 14/02/2011 20:12

A - I would find it creepy being called Mrs by a child.

SunSoakedStone · 14/02/2011 20:14

I hate being called Mrs. The first time I heard it after getting married just made me shudder...

ProcessYellowC · 14/02/2011 21:40

A

I remember getting into such a state about what to call my friends' parents that I would contrive never to have to say their names.

acorntree · 14/02/2011 21:58

Ooh yes processyellowC - I remember that too - I used to avoid speaking to adults because it was such a worry.

busyboysmum · 14/02/2011 22:22

A. But not bothered either way, as long as I am treated with the appropriate amount of deference Wink

Ponks · 14/02/2011 23:25

Hmmm reading this I just realised that I've never called DH's parents by their first names ... I grew up always saying Mr.. & Mrs.. for friends' parents and can't get out of the habit :)
So I'm probably a B and a grumpy old woman

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 14/02/2011 23:36

A

In general, plus I'm Ms DifferentSurnameFromTheDCs anyway so wouldn't particularly expect their friends to know my title and last name (and don't particularly want to be called Mrs DHsSurname).

I've tended to be "DCsName Mummy" anyway. DS is six and I'm just starting to get my first name from a few of his friends. I am still "DD's Mummy" to DD's friends.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 14/02/2011 23:41

I don't tell the DCs to call other people by their first names, though. In fact if anything I'd probably encourage the "X's mum" usage until the adult tells them what they want to be called. I'm never sure whether the mother has the same last name as the child anyway.

BellaMagnificat · 14/02/2011 23:57

Neither.

I believe all good children should be seen and not heard.

nooka · 15/02/2011 04:59

I assume that other people will let my children know what they would like to be called, but I've never actually met anyone who asked to be called Mr/Mrs/Miss except for school teachers. I'm not very familiar with my friend's surnames, so if I wanted my children to call them by their surnames I'd have to ask them first!

I would find it a little odd to be using different names for people than my children do outside of formal titles (just parents and grandparents here, I don't know anyone who uses Aunt(ie)/Uncle).

mathanxiety · 15/02/2011 06:12

Funny enough, the DCs' friends have always called me Mrs 'Surname', even though I never requested this. The DCs all call the other parents Mr/ Ms/ Mrs 'Surname'. I told them to do this until they got instructions to the contrary from the adult in question.

When they were small their friends used to call me 'DC's name's Mommy' which I found very charming.

One child called me Miss 'firstname' which was quite nice I thought, and harkened to a southern US custom of using Miss for all adult women along with their first name. I think that is actually my favourite name, not too stiff, not too familiar...

Sequins · 15/02/2011 06:47

Prefer A - first name

Bubbaluv · 15/02/2011 07:14

A - but don't really mind.

Mrs Firstname would make me feel like I was in India.

The earlier discussion of whether respect should be earned or not really needs a definition for "respect". Sounds to me like each side is talking about something rather different to the other.

eidsvold · 15/02/2011 07:18

depends on the family and how close we are with them. People we socialise a lot with call me eids, others call me Mrs Eids or even dd1,2 or 3's mother. In fact one little lad only calls me dd1's mother despite the fact his mother and I are very good friends and I have known the lad for about 7 years!!

ninah · 15/02/2011 07:25

A

CornflowerB · 15/02/2011 10:06

I don't care what the littlies call me I just blardy hate doctors calling me 'mum'

CornflowerB · 15/02/2011 10:07

Oh and I have a PhD too - perhaps I'll make the doctors call me Dr Cornflower

southoftherivermum · 15/02/2011 10:52

A - What century are we in??

Heifer · 15/02/2011 11:54

A

Hate being called Auntie Heifer.... My own nephews don't even call me Auntie..
Have a school friend whose mum insists they call me Auntie Heifer and my DD has to call her Auntie ***..

I told DD to call her Mrs or just don't use her name.

She isn't her Auntie!

theDudesmummy · 15/02/2011 12:32

This thread has made me realise something I didn't know before, which is that when we insist on my stepdaughters calling adults auntie or uncle as a sign of respect (as my DH puts it, his father would have given him a backhand if he had ever referred to or spoken to an adult without saying auntie or uncle), in this country (England) the adult may not necessarily see it that way, and may not even like it.