Poll: Prefer to be called Christian name or Mrs by children

[Mrsredoneslast]

By request.
Do you prefer to be called by your christian name or by your "title"..Mrs, Ms etc...by children (acquiantances's children/ dc's school friends etc)

So which

A)christian name

or

B) "title"
?

A

for reasons already stated by others:
1)I am not a Mrs
2)My marital status is not relevant to my relationship with DCs friends
3)My surname is not the same as DCs - as is the case with many children at her school
4)NO-ONE else I know seems to do / expect B - so its our cultural norm round here.

On the 'aunty' front, we use it as a general shorthand term for "female family member or close family friend (ie not necessarily a schoolfriend's mum) of a generation above you who has a (non-professional) interest in you and your well being"
(A cousin is anyone of your generation who's vaguely related!)

I suppose it might be nice to have a general pronoun for adults you don't know very well but I'd still like it to involve my first name rather than my surname...

A
you don't need to use a title to convey/obtain respect.
At work a lot of my patients use my first name, for the same reason.

B. No ifs and or buts about it...B

I thought it was quite sweet when one or two of DD's friends have called me Mrs W - a good compromise ?

( but it might have been when helping in their class at school or with Sunday school groups, so not quite the same as at home)

A by preference but I find most children use Mrs these days because of my age.

B, thats the way it was when I was growing up (not so long ago) and I always found it shocking for children to call adults by their forename.

By my first name.

A please. And I'm really sorry, but hearing my dc call other adults who aren't relatives "auntie" or "uncle" makes me squirm. And the same when i'm called it. Dd would call anyone mr or mrs if they asked and is very respectful. My parents insisted on me calling mr and mrs or auntie or uncle when I was little and it was of the time. I think calling teachers, doctors etc by tiltle is less to do with respect for me and more to do with keeping a professional distance. I don't need to do that with small children.

I think being called by your title and surname is archaic and suggest that adults are better than children - just a step away from having to call your Sir or Ma'am.

I always call people by their first name if I know it, unless it is a professional title eg doctor when I am at the hospital.

Of course what most children call me is 'DD's Mummy'

My dd calls a couple of my dearest friends Auntie because to us, they ARE family.

DH has a load of (what i call) 'fake aunties'. I find it very bizarre.

I have one auntie - my mothers sister. DH's DM seemed to want almost every single female acquaintance to be known as Auntie!

exoticfruits Sun 13-Feb-11 18:00:39
'I hate it when adults request that my children them by their first name.

I wish they wouldn't do it.'

It is entirely up to the person to choose. If I want a DC to call me by my first name I am not suiting the parent of the DC; I prefer to suit myself and the DC. If they want to be Mrs in return, my DC can call them Mrs but it doesn't mean that I have to do the same.

I don't believe I said that it did.

exoticfruits Sun 13-Feb-11 18:00:39
"'I hate it when adults request that my children them by their first name.

I wish they wouldn't do it.'

It is entirely up to the person to choose. If I want a DC to call me by my first name I am not suiting the parent of the DC; I prefer to suit myself and the DC. If they want to be Mrs in return, my DC can call them Mrs but it doesn't mean that I have to do the same."

---------

I don't believe I said that it did.

more clear response.

I live in rural Ireland and it would be considered absurd here for a child to address anyone as Mrs. O'Xxxx There is far more respect for adults here though among children and the key to that is that all the adults speak directly to children from an early age and expect them to be able to hold conversations fluently in public with family, friends and strangers.

For me it depends entirely on the context.

I'm Eagle Owl on Tuesday evenings.

I am "DD's mummy" or "DS's mummy".

I am Mrs Surname if I am in school in one of my various voluntary capacities.

One of those roles is as Chair of the Eco Team, which is where I was called "The Eco Lady" by a child who could not remember my name.

Some of DCs' friends do use my first name.

Come Sept, I start my PGCE course, so it'll be Mrs Surname all the way!

A

I am in my twenties and single. I would be shocked if a child called me Miss Mojitos.

B- or Dd/DS's mum or at least ask me (that scores major brownie points)

DD has lots of 'fake aunties' but then she doesnt have any real aunties as she calls my brother in laws wives 'auntie' in another langue iyswim. So culturally anyone from that group that is older than you even if its the first time you have met is 'auntie' until another title is formed.

I really like that at DDs school all the adults from the office staff to TAs to lunchtime supervisors are Mrs/Mr/Miss X. At her old school the teachers were Mr/Mrs and the other staff first names and i felt this was unfair.

At DS's nursery the older staff are all Miss Surname (despite all being married! I think some are actually Ms) and the young girl Miss firstname.

A - Christian name.

I encourage DD to say Mr/ Mrs X (not my best friends) unless she is directed to call them by their first name.

A for younger than pre-school.
B for school age.

B.

Or MiniPixel's Mum. Children of very close friends and of course relatives say Aunty MegaPixels.

I wouldn't like a child calling me by my first name.

I don't care either way what I'm called, but DS calls:

My two closest friends "Auntie April" and "Auntie Joanna".

My circle of younger (i.e. my age, in their 20's)friends by their first names, John, Monica, Jessica, etc.

All older men he refers to as Mr. Surname

Most older women he refers to as Mrs Surname, though a few who are well known to us (shopkeepers in a small towm) he calls Ms Kay and Ms Joan. (That's a southern US thing, Mzzzz Firstname :), and I've always liked it though we don't live in the south)

His teacher is Miss Firstname.

He doesn't have a lot of outside friends yet (I mean friends who aren't children of my friends since he's just three) so he mostly calls them "Joe's/Lexi's/Sophie's mommy"

I don't know, I've just always liked him to call older adults by a title. Our neighbor told me that having DS call her "Mrs. Miller" when he sees her makes her happy. :)

A to my friend's children, and close aquaintances children. Vague acquaintances, depends on how I am introduced by their parents, but more likely to be Mrs.

However, when I am class helping with reading, i am called Mrs Pavlovthecat, and therefore most of the foundation children call me 'DDs mummy' or 'mrs pavlovthecat' outside of class too and although i say 'you can call me pavlovthecat' they continue with Mrs so I just let them, whatever they feel uncomfortable with.

A- Absolutely. This is 2011!!!

oh yes, close friends call me 'aunty pavlov' and DD calls very close friends 'uncle/aunty' (i say close, I mean two/three couples, two of which are her godparents, so family really, not the same).

No-one calls me Mrs anything outside work (I'm a teacher). This is the 21st century!