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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Poll: Prefer to be called Christian name or Mrs by children

341 replies

Mrsredoneslast · 13/02/2011 10:56

By request.
Do you prefer to be called by your christian name or by your "title"..Mrs, Ms etc...by children (acquiantances's children/ dc's school friends etc)

So which

A)christian name

B) "title"
?

OP posts:

OsbegaEthewulf · 14/02/2011 08:10

I find it rather rude when children call me by my first name; I like being called Missus. Also agree with everything Hecate and Breathing has said on this post

exoticfruits · 14/02/2011 08:13

I don't care whether they are 2 yrs or 92yrs, anyone calling me Mrs sounds unnatural. (I am an older mum and we never called adults by their first name when I was a DC, I much prefer it today).

breathing · 14/02/2011 08:50

I always called my friend's parents etc by their Mr and Mrs and was born in the 60's.

DandyDan · 14/02/2011 09:10

I'm Mrs Dan at school but some of the children there know me at church as just Dandy so they have to swap what they call me, according to where we are. I don't mind either name.

One of my kid's friends called me "Mrs Gareth's Mum" a few times

JoanofArgos · 14/02/2011 09:16

A, always. One of dd's friends keeps on calling Mrs DD's Surname, which is neither my surname nor my title, but I keep forgetting to say 'it's Firstname'.

YunoYurbubson · 14/02/2011 09:27

I don't mind really - as long as I am called something. There is a curious British habit of not calling people anything at all.

TobyLerone · 14/02/2011 09:40

A -- first name, definitely.

FrameyMcFrame · 14/02/2011 09:48

A obviously!!!!

cory · 14/02/2011 09:51

I think we must straddle some kind of class divide in our neck of the woods, as I get both- and I really don't care either way. A child who does what they have been taught is polite is fine by me.

cantspel · 14/02/2011 09:58

By my christan name. I often see my boys friends when out and about and they will always come over and say hello.
If would feel odd if they were calling me Mrs and i dont like the aunty thing even if children i have known since they were babies and they are now teenagers and taller than me.

bookworm1 · 14/02/2011 10:09

Don't mind. A couple of dd's friends call me Mrs .... and I think its lovely and respectful. However, I don't mind 1st name or .... mum!

messylittlemonkey · 14/02/2011 10:22

Well, I'm not married, so if I were to choose option B, I'd have to be called Ms which I hate at the best of times.

Just don't get the need to be so formal.

CrystalStair · 14/02/2011 10:29

Agree with Yuno - hate not being called anything at all but so long as I'm called one of my names I don't care. Most call me by my first name but I think I'd get a little kick out of being called 'Mrs X' I'd feel like someone from Happy Days and skip round the kitchen being daffy and making muffins.

CrystalStair · 14/02/2011 10:32

It'a bit like 'Auntie'. Most of my many nephews and nieces call me just by my first name but some say 'Auntie' and then my name. My brother like his little ones to use Auntie because it helps them establish who is who in the family and draws a clear connection between us - so he is Uncle X to my kids. The older ones just call me by my first name, the little ones call me Auntie.

Not actually Uncle X of course. That would be like The Addams Family.

Astrophe · 14/02/2011 10:37

yunoyurberson - yes there is a curious habit of not calling people anything, isn't there!? We have noticed it too. And, in the same vein, a curious inability/reluctance to introduce people to one another.

Kewcumber · 14/02/2011 10:41

"I truly believe this is one of the things eroding values in our society" sorry that really makes me giggle.

First name always because - well, because its my name just as much as my surname. I don;t see that one is more "respectful" than the other its just one name or the other.

DS's school is on first name erms with everyone and I've yet to come across a nicer school - no lack of respect.

Perfectly possible to be disrespectful and call someone Mrs X - have you no imagination?

CrystalStair · 14/02/2011 10:49

Think it's a lack of social confidence. I also do introductions etc. Was very shy when I was teenager but drama lessons and a gap year being self sufficient made a big difference and before kids I worked in PR so was always doing upfront intros and networking stuff. Of course that confidence as stayed with me but I do notice I sound sort of loud and strident when with less assured people. I guess the difference is I don't worry about it. I think it is a skill that can be learned and should be taught at school. My parents generation seemed much more at ease with those sort of basic manners. And they were working class Londoners not finishing school types.

orangina · 14/02/2011 11:33

Definitely A.

I am not "Mrs" anything. I am married, but have kept my maiden name (I have had it for 37 years before I got hitched, and I'm used to it now!)

Mrs (married name) is my MIL, it isn't me.

Don't mind being (DD's or DS's) mummy though to their friends.....

Lonnie · 14/02/2011 11:46

C By people I know first name by people I have just met and not got any aquaintence with surname

Rollmops · 14/02/2011 11:46

B, most decidedly.

GrimmaTheNome · 14/02/2011 11:53

When DD was little, her friends would call me 'dds mum', which I sort of liked - it was easy for them and from their POV that defined who I was.

Nowadays I'd rather be called by my first name than Mrs xx - it seemed a bit odd to me initially because my mother - a teacher - always insisted, for obvious enough reasons, on being 'Mrs ' in an era where close friends tended to call their friends mums 'Aunty xx'

notevenamousie · 14/02/2011 11:56

First name. My mum used to and still does insist on Mrs XXXX which I used to be really embarrassed by because none of my friends did that. My DD is 4 and calls my closest two friends 'Aunty' but will probably grow out of that.

prettybird · 14/02/2011 11:57

As an aside, none of the teachers at ds' school are "Mrs": they are always "Miss" (even the married ones).

Maybe this is a Scottish thing?

Ds had to remember that when his friend's mum did some teacher training at his school, he had to call her Miss rather than .

Madsometimes · 14/02/2011 12:05

A, I think that children calling unrelated adults "Auntie" is just weird. It is appropriate for staff employed by a school to be called Mrs, Miss etc, but weird for everyone else.

When I was in Y11 I was send into a primary school to do reading with the children. The teacher asked the children to call me Miss Lastname, but I said that I would prefer them to call me Firstname. She said that was unacceptable, but agreed that they could call me Miss Firstname.

Dd's best friend goes to a school where teachers are called by their first names. The children do understand that their teachers are not the same as their friends, or even their parent's adult friends. The relationship between pupil and teacher is far more complicated than the name that they are called.

Ephiny · 14/02/2011 12:08

When I was in primary school, we had to call the dinner-ladies 'Auntie Betty' etc. Was a bit weird now I think of it, maybe a Northern thing .

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