in telling off a stranger's child in a museum?

[ZillionChocolate]

I was in a museum yesterday and was the other side of an exhibit to a family of two boys, maybe 6 and 8 and two older parents/grandparents. The exhibit was a big stone coffin which was roped off, but at a low level and only about 10 inches away. There were small signs that said "do not touch".

One of the boys was running his hands all over the top of the stone, just before we walked away, I said "you're not allowed to touch it". My husband later said I shouldn't have said anything as the father/grandfather was also touching it. WABI?

Or, more to the point WIBU? Not sure where WABI came from.

Yes, I think you were. A child touching the stone is not going to cause it any damage. Different if he was being rough with something fragile.

It is the parents responsibility to manage the behaviour of their DC. I think you should only interfere if a child is in danger or is doing something to harm you and their parent is ignoring it.

I do that kind of thing all the time...
I dont think it is a problem as long as you do it politely and reasonably. you didn shout 'oi, you basterds' didn*t you?

I am another who randomly tells other peoples children off. My DD is mortified. A lot.

YANBU... The main thing that kept us in line as kids was knowing that, even if Mum and Dad were out of sight, someone else would pull you up sharp for messing about! (I actually got told off by a security guard in a museum yesterday for touching an exhibit... talk about mortified!!!) As long as you're pleasant about it and not in the Victor Meldrew mould, I don't see the problem.

It wouldn't bother me if someone did that to DS but I don't think I'd have the confidence to say something myself

Some parents mind, others don't.

karmabeliever, I don't think it's for me to assess the level of risk of harm. I assume that the archeologists know best and that's why there were signs up. I didn't tell children off for being noisy and boisterous because whilst it's irritating, it doesn't hurt anyone/anything.

Touching the stone will cause it damage, hence the sign. Stone is porous and will absorb oils and dirt on your hands and could discolour it. Lots of people touching it would erode it. Both of these are very difficult and expensive to restore.

I would have said something to the kids in a polite way too. If their parents chose to take offence as a result then I would be far less polite with them.

YANBU ....you were doing your duty to protect an ancient exhibit.

If every frigging naughty kid touched it daily then it would soon be dirty and damaged.

I would have said something too.

Yes, that's what I wanted to say wingandaprayer. I wouldn't have put it so eloquently though!

If it's that fragile, then it ought to be displayed in a way that makes it impossible for children to access. Children like to touch things, it's instinctive. The museum should consider that when organising displays.

I would not have liked this if I was with my DC. If I wasn't there, and they were misbehaving, then fair enough. If I was with my DC, then I would think it very rude for someone else to tell them off.

When I mentioned the DC harming themselves, I meant that if you saw them do something which was likely to result in injury (like dangling out of a window for ex), then it would be right to intervene. Just being disobedient is not sufficient imo.

I don't think it costs millions of dollars to put up a proper barrier. A bit of perspex will do. It's not that fragile and a couple of kids touching something gently will not cause irreparable damage. The really fragile stuff is put in cases. The museum took a view and decided not to make that particular item impossible to access.

I agree that the children shouldn't have been touching it, but I consider it the parents responsibility to tell them not to.

Ds2 has sensory issues. He touches things a lot. We dont go to museums in case he touches things but at the same time I can't help but think that they should be protecting the things they dont want touched. It won't just be children who touch things.

TSC - I would have stopped my DC from touching it I'm not saying that they have a right to do whatever they want. What I am saying is that it is natural for children to want to touch these things and the museum should have protected it better if it really is fragile. They made a decision not to.

I think it is the parents role to correct their children, not random strangers.

See this is a soap-box issue for me: why should this woman feel she has to come on here to qualify if it was reasonable to tell a child off?

Besides the reason as to why the child was being told off (there are many interactive exhibits at most museums negating the need to touch when asked not to) why can't an adult tell a child off??

OP - did you tell the grandfather that he shouldn't have been touching the display?

Karma - you express yourself on this thread as one of those DM target families who are the scourge of the universe

I'm sure you're not but your expression of self-entitlement which puts your kids pleasure over the instructions of curators in our nation's musuems is breath-taking

or it would be if it wasn't such a common thread in modern parenting

saddening, sickening, DM-fodder

I would have said something, but then I think that is the teacher in me!

Probably would have done it in a passive/agressive way though, saying loudly to my child "Oh look. The sign says DO NOT TOUCH!" and hoping the parent/grandparent would have been shamed into controlling their own child.