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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have never in my life experienced someone in a restaurant refusing to pay their fair share

419 replies

activate · 06/02/2011 10:09

it was so embarrassing ended up with me and Friend B paying over the odds to make up for it

Chinese so all sharing all dishes, china tea, prawn crackers etc

Family A - Mum (not eating but drinks tea), Dad (only ordered soup, but gorged on everything else on table)and 18 year old

Family B - 2 adults

and US - 2 adults, 2 kids (one a 6 year old who barely eats)

Family A mum said he only ordered soup so we're only paying for one adult

divided by 8 (there were 9 of us but she didn't eat) bill was just under £20 each

she said we only pay for what we ordered
she repeated it despite minor protestations that he'd eaten everything - her 18 year old was mortified

I ended up paying £80, Family B paid £50 and Family A £20

am still aghast

would you do it? would you say anything after the fact? am so tempted to email and say wtf were you thinking you fucking freak (she a relative not a friend)

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 06/02/2011 10:10

not go out with family A again.

Bathsheba · 06/02/2011 10:11

I wouldn't say anything as the time has gone but I'd certainly never ever ever go out with them again.

WHY was she only drinking tea and WHY was he only ordering - sounds to me like either they don't like the food that was on offer or they were there reluctantly in the first place.

Bathsheba · 06/02/2011 10:11

Sorry that should be "why was he only ordering soup"

Lulumaam · 06/02/2011 10:12

that's madness !!!

they ate the food, just because they didn't order it, doesn't make it any less eaten !!

outrageously rude

i'd be tempted to say soemthing, especially as the disparity on the bill was so huge.. you paid 4 times as much, and they ate the same amount

Bathsheba · 06/02/2011 10:14

As they are relatives, is there a family "matriarch" figure who can "have a word..."

bubblewrapped · 06/02/2011 10:45

At the point when he only ordered soup, and started to eat everyone elses food, did nobody say anything?

I would have said then "oi, you only wanted soup!"

TragicallyHip · 06/02/2011 10:49

Well if she didn't eat and that was clear from the start then she shouldn't have to pay £20.

Obviously they needed to pay more tho due to him scoffing heaps and the 18yo eating too.

StealthPolarBear · 06/02/2011 10:52

"
Chinese so all sharing all dishes"

was this the arrangement to being with? Then he doesnt have a leg to stand on!

amberleaf · 06/02/2011 10:52

Are they hard up?

TBH ive avoided meals like this if im skint as i know i cant afford to eat the expensive stuff but will end up paying for others to eat it regardless.

MsKLo · 06/02/2011 10:52

Just make sure you never ever

Ever ever

Ever (!)

Go out with them again!

The fact he ate everything else was so cheeky! You should have addressed it then but I can understand why it may have been hard. Keep your distance from them for a while and dont even contemplate goin out with them again or even inviting them to yours for dinner!

Cheeky fuckers! The dad is anyway!

humanoctopus · 06/02/2011 10:53

I think you need to let her know that she behaved appallingly.
And then never go out to eat with them again.

Original poster
activate · 06/02/2011 10:53

bubblewrapped - I don't think people normally notice what anyone else is ordering in chinese or indian? I noticed that we only ordered soup for our 6 year old but would never have counted her out of the paying equasion. There was a certain amount of communal ordering

Tragicallyhip - We didn't expect her to pay if she didn't eat at all hence dividing the bill by 8 not 9.

I would dearly like to email her and tell her how embarrassing and out of order she was - am disgusted - will spend the day bitching with other family members about it I think Grin

OP posts:
Morloth · 06/02/2011 10:53

Just never eat out with them again, I know people who are like this and I just don't deal with them at all. If they are going, I am not. I don't actually say this BTW. But th vpqe pointoqf eating out is to enjoy yourself.

Morloth · 06/02/2011 10:54

the point of eating out.

Bloody phone.

MsKLo · 06/02/2011 10:55

Oh and I would say something - do it and make sure they feel
Embarrassed

Cheeky fuckers!

I am mad for you!

coolascucumber · 06/02/2011 10:55

Sounds like my brother and his wife, are we related?

Some people are just very tight. They have the hides of a rhinocerous and will not change their ways. Avoid them.

Opinionatedfreak · 06/02/2011 10:56

Maybe they will repent.

We had a disastrous group dinner recently which went seriously awry (I have vowed already never to go out for food again with those who sabotaged it). When the bill came the troublemakers wouldn't split it (they hadn't ordered as much as us, apparently) then there was a big shortfall.

Kindly peacemaker friend paid extra, I muttered ++ under my breath.

Kindly peacemaker friend pointed out to me a few days later that at least 5 quid of the shortfall was mine as I had forgotten to pay for my drinks. EEk! Blush

Peacemaker friend and I regularly go out for food (+/- partners/ kids etc) and have a very laissez faire attitude to bills (what goes around comes around) but I'm still mortified!

TragicallyHip · 06/02/2011 10:56

Oh sorry I missed that bit

Yes they should have paid more the cheapskates!

MsKLo · 06/02/2011 10:57

Yes fair enough re the mum if she didn't eat but he should pay for him and the boy

atswimtwolengths · 06/02/2011 10:58

Our local Chinese gives such a lot of food in the banquet that everyone gets a takeaway box at the end.

Why didn't you say 'But you only ordered soup, why are you eating our food?'

Why were they with you if they didn't 'want' to eat?

bubblewrapped · 06/02/2011 10:59

When we go to the chinese, we always go to one of those Eat as Much as you like places that have a fixed price per head. (It is usually half the price for kids unded 12)

So unless someone specifically says they are not eating, then everyone pays the set amount.

I think you have to establish from the start how the bill is going to be split, to avoid an embarassing scene like this.

I would have been furious though and would have had to say something had I been you Op.

taintedpaint · 06/02/2011 10:59

You probably shouldn't email for the sake of keeping the peace, but that bitch woman was so far out of order, I don't think she should be able to get away with it.

Never go out with that bunch of freeloaders family again. Lesson learned!

Bloody cheek of the woman!

[secretly hoping she is a MNer emoticon]

strandedpolarbear · 06/02/2011 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 06/02/2011 11:03

tainted - do you not think the man was more at fault than the woman?

ccpccp · 06/02/2011 11:04

18yr old was £20, so you are missing money for tea and soup. You should have demanded £30 out of them.

Now you know they are tight bastards, make sure they dont help themselves next time. Though I imagine the Dad and 18yr old were as surprised at the mum as you were.

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