I have never in my life experienced someone in a restaurant refusing to pay their fair share

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it was so embarrassing ended up with me and Friend B paying over the odds to make up for it

Chinese so all sharing all dishes, china tea, prawn crackers etc

Family A - Mum (not eating but drinks tea), Dad (only ordered soup, but gorged on everything else on table)and 18 year old

Family B - 2 adults

and US - 2 adults, 2 kids (one a 6 year old who barely eats)

Family A mum said he only ordered soup so we're only paying for one adult

divided by 8 (there were 9 of us but she didn't eat) bill was just under £20 each

she said we only pay for what we ordered
she repeated it despite minor protestations that he'd eaten everything - her 18 year old was mortified

I ended up paying £80, Family B paid £50 and Family A £20

am still aghast

would you do it? would you say anything after the fact? am so tempted to email and say wtf were you thinking you fucking freak (she a relative not a friend)

Agrees with Wimple... mine like to have a bit of a 'rest' from eating, a little giggle and jig about on the chair. It doesn't mean they've finished.

Cheeky scrounging bastards.

You should've broke the bill down to the fucking penny. Price per mouthful comes to mind.

Tanith...pushed away or not...the plate with the food on is still the childs until it is removed.

Good manners to ask "Have you finished or can I finish it for you?"

YANBU in this instance but I have to be honest I'm not always up for splitting the bill unless there's only a few quid in it.

When i was pg we went for a Thai meal (which I hate) with a group of friends for someones birthday. I had one starter and a mineral water, the rest had several courses and bottles of sancerre then expected me to chip in £40 at the end when mine came to £12. they got a good deal out of that! So now I'm clear about it from the start.

Never mind all this. WHAT DID THE TEXT SAY?????????

after a few dodgy experiences, we now ask for separate bills at the start, no hassle then

When we go out we always just split equally between all aprties. I hate the everyone paying for whaat they eat mentality particularly close friends or relatives.

Wimple and Lyingwitch: Whatever

Reallt mixedmama? What about those who it's a struggle for to go out in the first place?

A meal out is rare for some..and expensive.

hy should they be chucking in an extra 20 pounds they cant afford?

We had a weird one the other day. Big group of 18 so just split bill equally, once all the cash was totted up and the 3 people who were using cards went to sort out their shares it was £35 (one share+tip) short. apparently one person just didn't chip in AT ALL, and used there being so many people to cover it up!

Sorry mixedmamma I don't care if I appear stngy, I work part time and don't earn much most of it goes into house/dcs but a precious few pounds are kept back for me. I'm not subsidising other people, I work bloody hard for that money and am very protective of any time I get to myself. I would really resent £20 extra and would rather just be straight up about it. £20 is another meal/cinema trip/some make up.

La Weasel I had an ex who did that...and then TOLD me afterwards.

He was all full of glee at his "cunning"

What a twat.

LaWeaselMys... That's really awful. Did you find out who it was?

From my experience, when I worked in the council and we used to go out for lunches, the people on the lowest salaries were really scrupulous about paying their share... the higher earners not so much.

LeQueen "a few quid" can be 50 pounds plus in some places...there's always some idiot who thinks it's ok to order lobster and nine cocktails and then "Oh we'll split the bill shall we?"

If we cant afford it we wouldnt go. I understand the idea behind drinks etc if some people dont drink etc but not for the food and some friends we go out to a la carte where we can all pick a starter, main or whatever but other friends we would go for an indian or something where it is more likely that we would all share food.

For the record we are quite hard up so rarely go out as many of our friends earn more than us anyway so we cant always afford it but when we do go we just split. Maybe this time I had something cheap maybe next time I am the one who has ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.

shocking behaviour. think the time to say anything was at the time tho, as embarrassing as it was. she obv wasn't embarrassed!

LeQueen... I suppose it depends on whether it is just a 'few pounds out' or whether everybody can afford it. When I was earning very little money I used to really study the menu to calculate what I could afford. It was my worst nightmare to be lumped in to a 'split the bill' scenario, yet all staff were expected to attend. Awkward... and heart-stopping sometimes. Especially if you have a (usually male) manager-type who insists on ordering a claret with a big beaming "Let's split the bill X-ways shall we?"

Because I've experienced it, I've seen it in junior colleagues and always made a point of saying at the outset how the method of payment should be sorted out. In fact, if everyone's paying cash, they can do that before the food arrives even, give it to one person to pay the whole bill.

It's a bit different when it's family and friends I suppose but the principle is really the same to me.

No. Annoyingly. It was a really twattish thing to do, as most people had left already there was only a few of us emptying pockets trying to sort it out

If there isn't much in it or there is loads of people I prefer splitting. But if there is a big difference I think the shares should be more proportional, otherwise not fair on those deliberately not wanting to spend much.

I think work dinners etc are quite different to family such as the OPs post.

What did the text say???

I'll never ever ever forget going out for my DHs birthday (we were just dating so it was about 16 years ago now) with his family... DH usually would have paid for both of us (with me paying for other stuff over course of weekend) but seeing as it was his birthday, his parent wouldn't take the money from him...

It wasn't until the next day I realised I hadn't paid any money for my meal as I was so used to Dh paying when it was with his family... he told me the next week that his dad asked him the next day for my share of the meal

It was a total genuine mistake on my part, but one I still cringe about 16 years later!!!

When we go out with dh's family we usually split the bill, though his mum & dad take off the cost of all the alcohol, cos it's usually them that drinks it all!!! :)