I have never in my life experienced someone in a restaurant refusing to pay their fair share

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it was so embarrassing ended up with me and Friend B paying over the odds to make up for it

Chinese so all sharing all dishes, china tea, prawn crackers etc

Family A - Mum (not eating but drinks tea), Dad (only ordered soup, but gorged on everything else on table)and 18 year old

Family B - 2 adults

and US - 2 adults, 2 kids (one a 6 year old who barely eats)

Family A mum said he only ordered soup so we're only paying for one adult

divided by 8 (there were 9 of us but she didn't eat) bill was just under £20 each

she said we only pay for what we ordered
she repeated it despite minor protestations that he'd eaten everything - her 18 year old was mortified

I ended up paying £80, Family B paid £50 and Family A £20

am still aghast

would you do it? would you say anything after the fact? am so tempted to email and say wtf were you thinking you fucking freak (she a relative not a friend)

what did he say when you said but you ate everything, not just soup

You should email and tell them it will be the last time you go out for a meal with them as you feel their behaviour was embarassing and wrong. I wouldn't let it lie.

Are they very good friends of yours? If yes, then I think you should talk to them about it now its over. If not, would just leave it tbh and just don't go out with them again.

Oi! What about what my theory?

[stamps off feeling ignred]

They were very much in the wrong.

But a question (as this happens to me a lot) - I have no problem with splitting the bill, even if my meal isn't as expensive as others', or I didn't have pudding and they did. BUT - I don't drink. So why should I pay for wine/JDs & Coke etc when I am on water or just a soft drink? It can make a massive difference to the cost of my evening.

You don't drink?
What are you doing with the username I covert then?
Do you even know the Hedgehog song?

Sorry, that was to NannyOgg

Goblinchild - :o
Sorry! I suppose I should have taken Granny Weatherwax, but I am a Nanny so it seemed reasonably apt...
When I say I don't drink, I rarely drink, and very little when I'm out so I don't see why I should help towards a hefty drinks bill.

oh the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

I think for me the booze is the big cost and I always offer to split food and drink seperately if there are non drinkers and I have been downing the vodkas or cocktails. Have never been anything but happy to split a bill generally but sadly we have friends who know we split and always order the most expensive of everything.

He does it deliberately, she gets embarrassed, and I try to avoid eating out with them

I wouldn't say anything but would avoid being in that situation with them again. We're friends with a couple who used to be really fussy about money to the extent that when working out a bill they would bicker between themselves. Something along the lines of; 'well you had 3 beers so you need to put an extra £3 in' 'oh but don't forget I bought the milk for cereal this morning so it's actually only £2 I owe you'

We would sit there horribly embarrassed until they finally pooled their cash and paid the bill! I've also been in big group situations where there has been a shortfall I've made up. I think there are certain people who rely on the more stupid generous group memvers to pick up their slack!

It sounds as if they didn't have much money. In my experience, it's unusual for a man to only order soup, particularly as their son was eating the same stuff as the rest of you.

It's terrible behaviour and the people who do that kind of thing (overeating but underpaying) just don't seem to realise that it will never be forgotten... they might 'win' by paying a lower bill but they will be forever branded 'cheap'.

As they're relatives, you can't really avoid them but you could speak to the mother or father and tell them how you had to pick up the bill for them and how disgusted you are that they let you.

I can't bear meanness. I don't think I would go out with them again.

I don't think I've ever been for a meal out where, when it comes to "totting up shares" there hasn't been a massive shortfall. It's a fact of life. So, don't let anyone leave until it's sorted, or before you start ordering say "how does everyone want to do this, pay for own share or split?" If you go out with nice people, those who are drinking will always say, "but so-and-so's not drinking so they should pay less" or whatever. It's all out in the open then. Actually, my experience has usually been for several people to whack in more than their share, which can lead to the opposite bunfight of "no, no, that's not fair either."

I think meanness is one of the worst traits - people find it hard to forget and forgive it.

DH had a very well off accountant friend that was just like this: I once watched in amazement as he made 5 of us a cup of tea with the same teabag (cheapest to be had, of course).

All this reminds me of the time we were minding a 2 year old child and took her with the rest of the family to an Italian restaurant one Saturday.
She didn't finish her pizza and DH (greedy pig) always clears everyone else's plates at the end if they've left anything, so he started helping himself to hers.

"That's MINE!!" she shrieked in outrage. "It's MY pizza!"

He looked like he could have crawled under the table in shame as everyone in the room stared at him - and serve him right

Clam... that seems a good strategy, sort it out before ordering so it's very clear. The 'intentional guzzlers' are foiled before they start. :)

crazy that as a whole family they only paid £20!

though I think it's crazy to assume a bill will be split. You should sort that out at the start.

I think the whole idea of groups splitting bills is stupid for this reason!

Some people eat like mice..others may drink like fish...what's wrong with everyone having sepearate bills?

If sharing is meant to make it feel all warm and fuzzy it obviously doesn't work!

ha ving separate bills when the food is in actual fact shared?

They are just taking the piss, ordering tea and soup and then eating the food the others have ordered is crap

Well why can't people just order what they want to eat?

Unless they order a banquet deal between the lot of them at a fixed price...adults sharing bowls of food and then trying to split and including "seperate" personal dishes and drinks is just asking for trouble.

There's always someone in a group of 6 wo will query it.

just the way Indian and Chinese restaurants work IME

Other types of restaurant you order your plate and drinks and that would be easy wten it comes to paying.

IME you alsmost never have anyone querying sharing the bill because people don't usually want to act tight-fisted and unsociable. I have only across something like that once

this was not a query

this was a refusal to pay their share

it is different from the quibbling about drinking or not - or not having pudding - which whilst mildly irritating is not offensive

she didn't eat because she doesn't eat out - fair enough

their adult child ate a full meal, the father ate a full meal - who cares what they individually ordered (I wasn't watching)

only one person had an alcoholic drink

my pre-pubescent children didn't eat a full meal between them so and yes paying £80 for 4 of us is a whole lot of money - but you didn't see me arguing the toss despite the fact we'll have to budget to make up for it over the next week

DS1 and 2 are ROFL - DS1 has texted their child and they are all in uproar