I have never in my life experienced someone in a restaurant refusing to pay their fair share

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it was so embarrassing ended up with me and Friend B paying over the odds to make up for it

Chinese so all sharing all dishes, china tea, prawn crackers etc

Family A - Mum (not eating but drinks tea), Dad (only ordered soup, but gorged on everything else on table)and 18 year old

Family B - 2 adults

and US - 2 adults, 2 kids (one a 6 year old who barely eats)

Family A mum said he only ordered soup so we're only paying for one adult

divided by 8 (there were 9 of us but she didn't eat) bill was just under £20 each

she said we only pay for what we ordered
she repeated it despite minor protestations that he'd eaten everything - her 18 year old was mortified

I ended up paying £80, Family B paid £50 and Family A £20

am still aghast

would you do it? would you say anything after the fact? am so tempted to email and say wtf were you thinking you fucking freak (she a relative not a friend)

Is the dad some sort of fuckwit though? He knows he was eating the food, so why allow his wife to be a dominating stingy cow who showed them all up. Could he not open his gob and say "no fair enough, I was eating too"

it is not the first time unfortunately - we were joking about how mean they were beforehand (DS1 - our 16 year old was having a right laugh and said to be careful before we went out)

I never ever expected this kind of bare-faced outspoken unfair cheek to be honest

they are definitely not poor in case there is any misdirected sympathy

the dad colluded in it - he didn't offer more - the only one embarrassed was the 18 year old who was pointing out all the collective food and going "mu-um"

Just remembered a family member who would bring her two children with her to every chinese with her. She made a point of saying at the start that they don't really eat chinese food, so she wouldn't be ordering/paying for them. These two would be so stuffed at the end of the meal from eating everyone else's meal, it was ridiculous. Cue mummy each time saying 'I cannot believe that ye actually ate something here!' Mega scrounger mentality. Now those kids are teens and none of the other teens in the family like to spend time with them (they 'borrow' stuff forever, never help out at family bbqs, etc).
Sad really, passing on such a mean mentality. I would never go out for a meal if I couldn't afford to pay.

at chinese and indian there is no "our food - your food" in my experience

there is simply food

same for tapas

you just eat what you fancy, pass dishes around and split the bill

there is no discussion to be had or confusion

Ok now this may not be the case in the OPs situation BUT!

I have ended up not being able to go to family/group meals like this because i know i cant afford to pay an open ended amount depending on what everyone else orders.

It would be embarrassing to say 'i can only afford to pay for my minimal food'.

Some people dont get this as they quite possibly dont have to worry about money in the same way. so they end up thinking you are a) tight b)an arsehole.

Stealth, I think they were equally to blame tbh, it was just the balls of the woman to make an issue about it that grabbed me.

Note it for next time and only go to fixed price 'all you can eat' type places. Then there can be no quibble and you know exactly how much you are going to pay.

If they still managed to fiddle the bill I'd definitiely say something to them.

After years with a skinflint who would deliberately order less and then we'd have an embarassing moment involving "I only had soup" I now have a firm policy: We split the bill evenly, nom matter what people had. If someone has wine, I'll have a pudding so we're all even. Really, it's a few quid of cash for a million quid of good times!

yes that's it exactly

it was the fact that even when gently pointed out that 2 out of 3 adults in her family ate she went off on a "oh but you pay for what you ordered" line that just made me pay her share out of embarrassment

and they are not poor

they are mean

I once went out for a meal with 3 people. One of the party brought a fecking calculator and sat at the table working out how much his exact meal had come to.

We paid, and 3 of us left a tip in the middle of the table. Calculator man, picks up some of the tip and put it in his pocket!!!!

Why didn't the mum eat?

And what about their 18yo? Did they eat?

I agree, just refuse to ever go out with them for a meal again. If they ask why, say that it's awkward when the bill arrives, so you'd rather do something you all equally like. And then make sure you don't ever find something you equally like where paying is involved.

I can't stand people like that, so you have my sympathy.

HAd they perhaps not been able to afford the outing but felt pressured for some reason to attend?

Maybe the couple had agreed beforehand that she wouldn't eat and he would only have a started so that the could afford the meal.

Then he behaved like a greedy pig and just chowed down.
Could that be it?

Maybe she was so pissed off with HIM that she did what she did.

I wouldn't say anything but whenevever anyone has ever behaved like this, I have never ever gone out with them again. I still shudder at the memory of dinner out with my friends who refused to pay their share of the service charge because it was optional.

!!! Now that is a situation when I would have no problem in loudly embarrassing someone. He took some of the tip?

There would have been an 'Oi - put that back you miser!' from me.

I get what you mean amberleaf, but this doesn't seem to be a case of that, this looks like a family of brazen cheepskates. The man should not have eaten if they couldn't afford it and still wanted to attend. Clearly they could pay for the son.

A totally indefensible situation, whichever way you look at it. They won't get invited out again hopefully!

I've had a couple of friends who have been this way inclined over time. One was more blatant about it and didn't seem to care, the other was and still is miserly and selfish and pretends she is careful about money. She always earned more than most of the other people at the table and was rarely invited out anyway, due to her tantruming when things didn't go her way. Shocker.

Surprisingly, I am no longer close to either of them.

bubblewrapped that sounds like someone we went out for a meal with (parents of DC's friend).

We put in cash for half the total plus a good sized tip, this man said that he didn't tip "as thats what minimum wage is for" (). He then took our cash to the till (who does that in a restaurant that is waiter service??) and we reckon he just paid the balance of what was left after he used the cash and tip towards the bill.

Tightarse.

Am I the only one who would invite them to a sharing meal again, and refuse to let them have anything they hadn't ordered themselves?
That'll learn 'em.

Have you had this problem with them before?

mean people are very rarely poor

Just don't eat out with again. Thats really mean of them.

no- that's how they get rich- by being tight arses

It really is the most unattractive quality. If people are skint and don't want to split a bill but just pay for what they had, then fair enough, but it's always the rich people who say "oh no, but I had one eighth of a glass of wine less than you so can I pay 50p less" Jeez.

Oh I hate that.
We once went out with 2 other couples.
Everyone was drinking & everyone had 3 courses.
At the end 1 couple asked for the menu back & totted up their share, Then couple 2 did the same.
By the time we went to put out share in, we were left with half of the bill left to pay.
I was furious.
Never eaten out with them since.