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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is it unreasonable to be lazy?

227 replies

KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 10:48

Having read some threads on here about people listing all the things they do every day to support their families and do everything for the children am i the only one on here who just be arsed with it all?

Dont you just refuse to do anything some days and leave your partner to do it all?

like today, i am doing fuck all. im not cooking or cleaning in fact i plan on sleeping for a couple of hours and making dp pick up my son.

Is this lazy? I think alot of people on here need to stop being super mum and do nothing for a while.

OP posts:
comewhinewithme · 01/02/2011 17:27

But she only said she was having a lazy day which suggests it dosen't happen every day.
She also gave the information out about her dd after everyone started calling her names.
She also sounds very sleep deprived and stressed out to me and could do without people telling her that she has spoilt her child after she has posted and told us why she is having a lazy day.

I feel really sorry for her TBH.

christmaswishes · 01/02/2011 17:37

"Dont you just refuse to do anything some days and leave your partner to do it all?" -
This is the line that many thought was smug of the OP.
It came across as being uncaring and not giving a crap about her partner who works full time. Then leaving everything to him when he gets home whilst her doing nothing. That was the bit people were focusing on.

Now yes we have definatley been drip fed on this thread and it is quite clear to see that she is having problems with her childs screaming etc so finds it difficult to do anything else but be with the child which is understandable. Fair enough. I think the problem lies in needing to help with the child who wont settle.

I

usualsuspect · 01/02/2011 17:40

I hope shes ok ... some pretty nasty replies on this thread

undercovamutha · 01/02/2011 17:51

People need to reread the OP:

"Having read some threads on here about people listing all the things they do every day to support their families and do everything for the children am i the only one on here who just be arsed with it all?

Dont you just refuse to do anything some days and leave your partner to do it all?

like today, i am doing fuck all. im not cooking or cleaning in fact i plan on sleeping for a couple of hours and making dp pick up my son."

I'm sorry, but how was ANYONE meant to guess from this, that the OP was actually stressed and tired from having a velcro baby and no break???? We're not PSYCHIC! I can't stand these drip feed threads - if you've got crucial info put it into the OP ffs.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 01/02/2011 17:53

As I said, she sounds strung out and clearly needs the sort of advice which is unlikely to be forthcoming in AIBU.

usualsuspect · 01/02/2011 17:55

I can't see why she got such a flaming for that op ...somedays I can't be arsed, its not a big deal is it?

WhatsWrongWithYou · 01/02/2011 17:55

Tbf, the OP did mention the velcro baby sitch at about 1.00pm. Maybe this is a bit of a drip-feed but she's clearly in a state with it all.

I guess a lot of people have just responded to the OP without reading on.

wubblybubbly · 01/02/2011 17:58

Well I don't have a velcro baby and I still have days when I do fuck all. At least fuck all compared to some anyway.

I'm not lazy, I just no longer stress over dusty skirting boards.

usualsuspect · 01/02/2011 17:59

My youngest ds is 18, so I've no excuse Grin

christmaswishes · 01/02/2011 18:02

Yes somedays we cant be arsed but we dont leave our husbands in the shit whilst deciding this because "we cant be arsed" we care about our husbands. If he decided he couldnt be arsed for the day then how would the OP feel not being able to buy nappies for the baby, food, pay the bills etc. if we all decided we cant be arsed what sort of world would it be?

wubblybubbly · 01/02/2011 18:02

Grin @ usualsuspect.

It's not as if any of us are going to lie on our deathbeds and wish we'd dusted a little more often.

wubblybubbly · 01/02/2011 18:07

I care about my husband, but he managed to work full time and cook/clean for himself long before I came along.

My vows didn't include anything about housework.

christmaswishes · 01/02/2011 18:07

Deciding that your too tired for a day to do housework is fine and you just wanted to watch tv, but if you did this everyday then it would be such a mess her partner would have to do it after work. Thats the difference and it all comes down to wether you care about the person your with or you dont. Relationships are two-way streets not one way - Its give and take 50-50. Well it is for me anyway because I care about my hubby and people in general.

usualsuspect · 01/02/2011 18:14

I care about my dp ...I don't care about housework neither does he ,sometimes I do it sometimes he does it...hes quite capable of feeding himself as well

wubblybubbly · 01/02/2011 18:14

I don't think the OP ever said everday though. Or at least that's not how I read it.

I don't have to be too tired, sometimes I just can't be arsed.

Sometimes I think I've done enough for everyone else and I'll do something for me for a change.

usualsuspect · 01/02/2011 18:16

Sometimes I sit on MN for hours Shock

christmaswishes · 01/02/2011 18:28

shock horror!
:)

No housework to me is very boring and dull but I do like a clean house. Cant stand the thought of doing it but if its a mess I feel worse.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 01/02/2011 18:35

I have to say, I would be concerned if I had a 2 year old that screamed constantly and wanted to be held all the time. Actually I would have taken steps to tackle the problem way before the age of 2. Yes I know some babies are clingy, my DS was very clingy as a baby, but they need to learn that they can't have their own way all the time. By 2 I would expect a child to have realised that at least a little bit.

Have you had your DD checked by a doctor? I would be concerned something was wrong by that kind of behaviour at 2.

darleneconnor · 01/02/2011 18:53

OP-some people on this thread have been unjustifiably nasty to you. Maybe they'll come back as dust mites.

You do need to find some resolution to the problems with your DD, get your GP and HV to give you some help/support.

Dont sweat the housework. Once we're all dead no-one's going to care about who had the most dust-free home.

boyscomingoutofmyears · 01/02/2011 18:59

I feel really sorry for the op, nowhere has she mentioned that she dies nothing all day, every day. if you really want to flame someone, have a go at me. My husband works full time and does all of the cooking and 90% of the housework. This is because for many years I was studying and working 2 jobs while taking care of 2 children. Now I'm on maternity leave he's finding it hard to break the habit (and he's a bloody control clean freak when it comes to the house).

I know what it's like to have a demanding child too, my eldest has a severe learning disability and is a 24 hour job.

TheVisitor · 01/02/2011 19:02

I'm having a can't be arsed day today. Grin I've been to college and everyone is fending for themselves for tea. Mind you, my youngest are nearly 12 and perfectly capable of cooking. In fact, I got one of them to swap over the washing whilst I sat on my arse. AND I got one of the others to make me a brew. Grin

RobynLou · 01/02/2011 19:36

christmaswishes If we all decided we couldn't be arsed for a day, nothing much would happen for a day, it'd wait till tomorrow. the world wouldn't end, especially if not everyone chose exactly the same day!

people ring in sick to work when they're not really sick, the world doesn't end, very occasionally it's harmless.

some people really need to learn to relax!

BlueCollie · 01/02/2011 19:54

Knittedbreast I do hope you are okay as I think some of these posts are really really nasty and not at all necessary. It sounds like you have a really hard time and to be honest I couldn't cope with a screaming child like yours so I think you are doing better than I would. I hope you enjoyed your lazy day and I hope your man looked after you. Not really much to ask when you do the majority of child care. I hate the attitude that if a man works he shouldn't do anything once he gets home! Which basically means his day is 9-5 and yours goes on forever. Quite frankly thats shite and did women really fight for rights to still have women being slaves to men and our children. It takes two to make a baby and if there are two parents it should take to two to look after them. When my husband is home he cooks, cleans, looks after our son and sometimes even does the washing up instead of me...all while passing me a glass of wine Grin. His view is I do it all week and my day is from 6am until gone 7pm so it's only fair that he does his share of family stuff too. I'm off work at the moment and it is far easier being at work than looking after a child day in day out and so I do think men should do there fair share. Fucking ridiculous to think the man should come home and sit on his arse while you little women run around after him. Nothing sexy about treating a man as if you are his mother and do everything for him. She only wanted the bloody washing up done and is right to make him do more.

katkit · 01/02/2011 20:14

what's a velcro baby?

sincitylover · 01/02/2011 20:48

absolutely nothing wrong with having a lazy day imo.

Too many housework martyrs on here.

What about having takeaway once in a while if things are tough.

So much more to life than housework.

Agree with SGB on this.

So glad Im not a wifey anymore. I answer to myself, work full time and do the bare minimum to get by,

House is untidy but not unclean.

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