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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you do it when it is your time of the month?

175 replies

QueenStromba · 31/01/2011 22:21

My current DP doesn't want to have sex while I'm on my period. The issue has only come up in one previous relationship and he was fine with it so I was just wondering how many people have sex while on their period and if you don't is it your choice or your DP's?

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenStromba · 31/01/2011 23:39

Yup lololizzy, I was just looking for different views on it - it's a shame you can't do polls on here like you can on different forums. It's a shame that we disagree on this because we're perfectly compatible in every other respect. It's not helping that I'm all hormonal and crampy and he's withholding the thing that I know will make me feel better. I just don't want to have any sexual contact with him because I know he's just going to be all weird about even playing with my clit but would happily play with my boobs even though he knows that makes me really horny.

OP posts:
EricNorthmansMistress · 31/01/2011 23:39

'it's not like it's actually blood or anything!'

Confused by this - is it sarcasm? Or do you menstruate glitter and rainbows or summat?

RueLaChesty · 31/01/2011 23:40

Nope!

And i have just realised i have never known DPs (or previous partners) views on it as its never been an option!!

I'd probably just end up crying or nagging that he wasn't doing it right so would not be an enjoyable experience for either of us!

EricNorthmansMistress · 31/01/2011 23:40

Have a wank if orgasms help...

lololizzy · 31/01/2011 23:41

it's a shame he can't help you out there! poor you. Don't blame you for not wanting it if he's being a tad unfair

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 23:41

QueenStromba - if you like sex during AF but he doesn't, why don't you get some sex toys? you can handle downstairs and he can just handle boobs/talk to you/have a wank himself/whatever floats your boat.

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 23:43

Now it really does look like I'm stalking you Eric.

happiestblonde · 31/01/2011 23:46

I will have sex any time, any place, no matter what... No problem with it, (xish, hopefully not)DP couldn't care less.

EricNorthmansMistress · 31/01/2011 23:46
Grin
LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 23:47

I just went to TSA and you had just posted there as well!

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 23:47

Amused our solution is to have a wank.

lololizzy · 31/01/2011 23:48

all these stereotypes..I have never ever had sex smeared with blood. But if i did..so what, it's washable

EricNorthmansMistress · 31/01/2011 23:50

I think it's win win Grin

doubleease · 31/01/2011 23:50

I've had sex loads of times whilst on my period.

I will draw the line at oral though. I remember an old bf used to love oral while I was on and although it was lovely, the sight of him looking at me with blood round his mouth when he finished kind of put me off doing it ever again with anyone else!

EricNorthmansMistress · 31/01/2011 23:52

Ewwwwww see that's just VOM

Original poster
QueenStromba · 01/02/2011 00:03

If having a wank is the solution I'd rather he not be involved really. We've only been together a few months and last month was the first time that we'd been having sex frequently enough for him to know I was on; I had a slight concussion at the time which resulted in a splitting headache when I came or even got particularly horny so it wasn't really an issue, I was feeling better towards the end of my period and he still didn't even want to play with my clit which just made me feel terribly rejected. I don't want to feel that again so I'd just rather the issue didn't come up in the first place.

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenStromba · 01/02/2011 00:05

"Ewwwwww see that's just VOM" say's the woman who's username proclaims her to be the mistress of a vampire!

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LaWeaselMys · 01/02/2011 00:06

Obviously, it would be lovely if couples always agreed on things like this, but they don't. Try not to take it to heart, it doesn't mean he doesn't want you! He's probably horny as anything and denying himself, and maybe it's something you could convince him round to over time and maybe it's something you'd just get used to him not liking.

Not the end of the world. Smile

Original poster
QueenStromba · 01/02/2011 00:08

Maybe he can have me three weeks of the month and I'll find a guy into bloodsports for the other week!

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LaWeaselMys · 01/02/2011 00:09

haha!!

Excellent plan Wink

TimeForACHEEKYWineOrTheBottle · 01/02/2011 00:15

DH isnt bothered but i wont do it if its full on, if its the start - so low flow - or end - again low flow - then we use a towel but i dont normally do it. It depends how horny i am feeling at that time.

Original poster
QueenStromba · 01/02/2011 00:25

I guess I'm just annoyed because somehow the sex has gone from being all about me at the very beginning to all about him.

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LaWeaselMys · 01/02/2011 00:28

True. But hopefully as the relationship developed you'd want it to be about both of you equally.

He gets to be fussy about periods, you can be fussy about positions or something else he wouldn't necessarily be keen on.

If he didn't want to do anything you suggested ever then that would be an issue, but if it's just one thing... it's not worth breaking up over. Especially since the not-on-your-period attitude is reasonably common.

Original poster
QueenStromba · 01/02/2011 01:30

Well at the start he was all about using his hands etc, now it's turned into me giving him hand jobs and him forgetting he has hands.

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BitOfFun · 01/02/2011 01:41

All sex involves bodily fluids though. Menstruating just makes it s different colour. If I feel like having sex, I do- doesn't bother either of us.