to go of a friend who has just been on a sex tourist trip to Thailand?

[Hairyjumper]

Single male friend, just been on 2 weeks holiday where he paid women to fuck him.
Have had quite a cerebral discussion with him about it.
He says it is not seedy , no pimps blah blah.

I thought I was open minded but it just seems wrong.

'The vast majority of prostitition is between consenting adults, and is worth billions to the tourist trade.'

This is what you said, Ccpccp. As you can see by the misspelling of 'prostitution', I C&Pd. What you seem to state is that it's all above board and it's an industry worth billions. What you seem to imply is 'What's not to love about prostitution in Thailand?'

I am appalled that some of you think it acceptable. I don't give a shit if she was 30, she is still being exploited by western sex tourists. The "phew, at least he's no a paedo" thing gives me no comfort. he would be off my friends list with a stern talking to.

and 'consenting' is a ludicrous concept. i work with sex workers. they are damaged, fucked up women who have sex with men to fund their drug habits. they have little choice. a lot of them are so damaged they can see no future. the belle de jour image of prostitution is very rare. its fucked up young women off their faces on crack fucking dirty bastards for a tenner.

YANBU. Speaking for myself, I would also go off a friend if they revealed he or she used prostitutes whatever sex or whatever country.

YANBU as Binfull has pointed out - it is illegal in Thailand.

So he went abroad with the intention of breaking the laws of another country.

He did this knowingly and deliberately.

He is a class A sad cunt.

He probably feels good that the £50 quid he gave her bought her a much better life when he left.

Hopefully his mouses' tongue cock didn't touch the sides too much during the unpleasant time she experienced with him.

If she thought it was fun, why did he have to pay her?

I managed to read about ten posts on here before I found it too upsetting to continue :( :( :( so so sad and angry for these women and girls :( :(

Hello all, wanted to post this earlier but didn't have time. If anyone is reading this and actually wants to know some stuff they can do to help, check out this book

Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn, Half the Sky

The authors are legit journalists who have travelled extensively in Asia and who offer practical advice that Western women can follow to help girls and women stuck in prostitution or trying to break free. It will make you feel sick, but do read it.

Read here Half the Sky

All a bit sordid at best, and very often with dodgy overtones, it seems to me. The destinations for sex tourism are countries full of poor people with few life options. Great situation to exploit for a fuck, wouldn't you say?

There seems to have been a marked increase and acceptance in recent years, though.

There were even a couple of women on Woman's Hour on radio 4 talking about their exploits a few months ago. I used to visit Kenya quite a lot and around the resorts, beaches and apartment blocks of Mombasa the number of women in 40's, 50's and beyond being escorted by very beautiful young African men is quite extraordinary. Some of the men are 'husbands' for a week or two, some are provided with apartments and visited several times a year. Some studs use the income to support their own 'real' wives and kids, while others blow it on flash clothes, booze, drugs, motorbikes and other forms of showing off. It seems an increasing number of European widows, divorcees and women with accepting/ignorant husbands head off to spend a couple of sex-fuelled weeks with men who would be unobtainable at home.

I saw the same in Uganda. Bar owners who hired devastatingly gorgeous local men to work and attract the white women. I wonder how many of these women bring HIV/AIDS back with them.

What Katey said back on page 7 - I used to work on Pentonville Road and commuted through Kings Cross - I witnessed far too many incidents where young, dead-eyed girls, thin as rakes, covered in sores, were successfully soliciting 'nice' 'respectable' middle-aged businessmen in suits (and wedding rings) at 7am in the morning.

What made me feel physically sick, despairing of men in general and made me put in for a transfer to another office was when I saw a girl who looked about 13 (half-naked, sores and bruises) being dragged by her hair screaming and crying through 3 lanes of traffic by her pimp at half past 8 in the morning whilst two policemen stood across the road and laughed at the situation . I still hate myself for not saying anything, but was too scared to do so.

What kind of men sleep with these girls? How can they live with themselves? At Kings Cross it wasn't even as if they had the flimsy justification that it was 'abroad' so it somehow didn't count...

OP, I would bin this 'friend'. I really would. It would make my skin crawl to be in his presence.

Maybe ccpccp is just an optimist.

"It is, however, ILLEGAL in these countries and there are regular crackdowns and harsh punishments. Foreign sex tourists looking for children are named and shamed and reported to their home countries."

I think that it is pathetic that you actually believe that countries under the spotlight are vigilant about putting an end to child prostitution. You have been misinformed. These countries operate on corruption and the officials profit directly from establishments full of minors.

Don't try to justify your view of 'prostitution being consensual' without understanding the facts.

www.pattayadailynews.com/en/2010/07/11/breading-a-culture-of-child-prostitution-industry/

This article is fairly balanced and does acknowledge the recent 'crack down' but the reality remains that if you have money, you can pay your way out of anything. Even the police need money...

Andre - whilst the scenes you saw are equally exploitative with western women do you believe they have the same agenda? Just interested really, not challenging your point.

I would imagine it would be very hard for a man to follow through on a full sexual act with a woman if he really, really didn't want to go through with it. I suppose again though money and a way out of poverty would be the main driver for them. These women also seem to be deluded about the attraction levels - similarly the 60 year old woman and the 21 year old Turkish waiter scenarios we read about all the time.

Just as an aside - the amount of Swiss men in places like Pattaya is disproportional to the population. I.e. There are large numbers of Swiss men over there using prostitutes or finding wives. So much so that the Swiss police are working in partnership with Thailand.

Yet Switzerland has legalized and controlled brothels.

Actually this scenario (the OP's) happened to me

A friend's husband had the worst midlife crisis, which took the form of buggering off to Thailand and spending months there, basically shagging around.

She took him back. I've tried to have nothing to do with him again.

Thanks for the recommendation, I've just ordered Half The Sky online.

begonyabambot posted:

"i wouldn't say that every man who goes to Thailand is looking for a child or underage girl to participate in sordid practises with. They go to a beautiful place for a holiday where they can pay to have sex with attractive women, they can pay for a girlfriend for the duration and have a 'relationship' of sorts. Everyone around them is doing the same thing so it seems normal and acceptable - they won't be judged or looked down on the way they would in the UK for kerb crawling. They don't want to think about the 'abusive' side to the industry, they are either a bit thick about it and don't realise what goes on or they don't really care as long as they treat the girls well."

"I don't like the industry, it's awful and distressing and couldn't feel respect for a guy who does it but they aren't all looking for children or there would be no adult pros."

I think that's quite a realistic description of many of the men who go out there - men who (if they don't admit what they've done) are probably considered normal, 'decent' men and who wouldn't dream of abusing a child. Unfortunately, not wanting to think about the deeper implications of what you are doing is not an excuse. It is exactly this form of thinking that needs tackling. Even the small percentage of men who have paid-for sex with a grown women who has entered prostitution as a 'genuine' choice in Thailand are contributing to the abuse of women and children in the same country, regardless of what they themselves do personally. It is not an acceptable defence IMO.

Personally, OP, I could not be friends with this man any more unless he can sees the wider consequences of his behaviour, experiences genuine remorse and donates twice the amount he spent on 'fun' to victims of the sex trade in Thailand. Even then I'm not sure I'd be able to see him the same way. Knowing this about him, I think you'll now start noticing other attitudes and behaviour that show that, deep down, he considers women and children somehow of less importance.

There's this thing where women were treated like a commodity in the past, it was called sexism. There's this thing in the present where women are still being treated like commodities by some men, it's still called sexism. Does paying a woman to have sex with him make her a commodity in the life of the man? Does some women exploiting this fact for their own personal gain actually make this alright for women as a whole?

I was about to post that very same link Rhadegunde.

It ought to be easy to part fund and share the information. Loopholes have to be closed.

Personally I would not be able to be friends with this man. Especially reading some of the previous posts and links.

Was just looking in the paper and there is a programme on BBC2 at 10pm today called The Paedophile Hunters.

"This grim documentary reveals the work of a unit that nails American offenders overseas and takes them hom to face the judicial music. Agents of the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement bureau are shown helping Cambodian police, and volunteer workers keep surveillance on suspects so that culprits can be arrested, tried and repatriated, and their victims can receive the care they need"

Perhaps your friend should watch this.

Thank you all for your responses and for those who have reminded us ( as if we needed it) of the hideous underbelly of prostitution involving children , rape and violence.

To clarify , my friend would absolutely have no part in any of that and is deeply offended that I pointed out the association between that and what he did. He just does NOT get that connection at all. He is NOT thick, he is an extremely kind and gentle person and bears no relation to some of the men you have described.

Begonyabampot said this
"i wouldn't say that every man who goes to Thailand is looking for a child or underage girl to participate in sordid practises with. They go to a beautiful place for a holiday where they can pay to have sex with attractive women, they can pay for a girlfriend for the duration and have a 'relationship' of sorts. Everyone around them is doing the same thing so it seems normal and acceptable - they won't be judged or looked down on the way they would in the UK for kerb crawling. They don't want to think about the 'abusive' side to the industry, they are either a bit thick about it and don't realise what goes on or they don't really care as long as they treat the girls well.

I don't like the industry, it's awful and distressing and couldn't feel respect for a guy who does it but they aren't all looking for children or there would be no adult pros."

That is a very accurate description of what my friend did. I suspect he falls into the category of " a bit thick " about it/ not realising what goes on."

It turns out he was with just one woman, for several days . I have seen the photos (yes, I know ) and she is quite clearly in her 30s . I would not be in the least surprised if the story ended the same way as Begonyabampot's friend's story .(they got married)

This has all affected me quite deeply.

sunshineandbooks, I see you quoted the same bit.
Thanks.

Oh and to those who suggested he would make me out to be a bit repressed and suchlike this is NOT the case.

Rhadegunde, excellent link - about CHILD sex tourists, I repeat, this is not my friend

Andre1960 thank you for the Kenyan point.
I did ask my friend how he would feel about ME paying for sex