to go of a friend who has just been on a sex tourist trip to Thailand?

[Hairyjumper]

Single male friend, just been on 2 weeks holiday where he paid women to fuck him.
Have had quite a cerebral discussion with him about it.
He says it is not seedy , no pimps blah blah.

I thought I was open minded but it just seems wrong.

It is nasty because most of them are very young girls and they are paid a pittance. And of course there are pimps.
He is deluding himself.
Tell him to get a girlfriend, but first he may want a full STD screen and learn how to value women.

Cote, you are right. It has got to be far more expensive than picking up a woman at home. But what they're after is children, girls and boys. Specifically Asian children. Or if not children, then Asian women and men. There's a racist undertone to it all. As well as the knowledge, no matter how much this man and others like him may protest, that there is no way these girls are having sex with him because they like him or enjoy it - deep down they have got to know that they are being forced to, that they are poor and they are slaves. It's an ego trip of massive proportions.

math you are exactly right - it is an ego trip of massive proportions.

Prostitution in Thailand is somewhat different to the UK. Punters don't just buy sex, they actually buy the girl for a period of time: a day, a week a month. During that period the girl will be known as his "girlfriend". He will parade her along the beach, in the bar and she will do what he wants when he wants often for little more than a couple of meals and a "tip".

So he gets to lord it up and play the big I am. Flash his cash and be worshipped for his tourist dollar and the representation of a better life it costs him little at all. Disgusting.

i wouldn't say that every man who goes to Thailand is looking for a child or underage girl to participate in sordid practises with. They go to a beautiful place for a holiday where they can pay to have sex with attractive women, they can pay for a girlfriend for the duration and have a 'relationship' of sorts. Everyone around them is doing the same thing so it seems normal and acceptable - they won't be judged or looked down on the way they would in the UK for kerb crawling. They don't want to think about the 'abusive' side to the industry, they are either a bit thick about it and don't realise what goes on or they don't really care as long as they treat the girls well.

I don't like the industry, it's awful and distressing and couldn't feel respect for a guy who does it but they aren't all looking for children or there would be no adult pros.

Agree it's an ego trip and there are racist tones as many of these guys would be disgusted at some of these scenarios being practiced at home in the UK but somehow it's ok with asian women and children. I knew a guy from work (vaguely) who went every year (he didn't have a lot going for him and didn't earn that much) - he eventually married his 'girl' and brought her back to the UK - I really hope they are happy and she has a better life here.

I am very glad to have read this thread. I have always felt quite mean that I told most of the friends of my ex years ago that I thought that he was disgusting because he went to Thailand and had engaged prostitutes.

I don't know the half of it but he gleefully told me about the threesome. It was okay though because they were the most beautiful women he had ever seen and were really up for it. And four breasts are better than two apparently

Even though he admitted to having to get a cab across town from the bar to a cash point in order to secure the sexual attraction of these two rather young ladies.

Seriously, never mind it being a deal-breaker in a relationship or friendship or family I'd consider disowning my own son for this sort of thing. Then again would it be my failure as a mother etc? Very difficult.

I'm absolutely astounded that anyone thinks this is acceptable. I was expecting unanimous condemnation of your friend, and am a bit shocked to find otherwise.

I really don't know how I could go on in a friendship with a man like this.

What dreadful stories on this thread. These men are the lowest of the low, selfish pigs with no humanity.

Those poor women and children :(

"If it's worth billions to the tourist trade and that makes it a good thing" - mathanxiety.

Nope - but it does highlight the idiocy of the 'all men going to Thailand for sex are pedos' argument being put forward by some of your more 'energetic' friends. No country sanctions child abuse that I know of, and those historically under the spotlight for it are particularly vigilant.

The sex industry is not something that would be tolerated in the UK on such a level, thats for sure, but its just adult consenting prostitution at the end of the day. Oldest industry in the world.

Are there children being abused there? Most likely, but the authorities in those countries are constantly watching for it. If OPs friends says he visited a 30yr old prostitute then 99.99% thats what happened.

He's a rank, pathetic loser who had to pay for sex then.

Paedo or no.

He thinks it's not seedy because he's a skank.

Who needs a skank in their lives?

yanbu

"Nope - but it does highlight the idiocy of the 'all men going to Thailand for sex are pedos' argument being put forward by some of your more 'energetic' friends. No country sanctions child abuse that I know of, and those historically under the spotlight for it are particularly vigilant.

The sex industry is not something that would be tolerated in the UK on such a level, thats for sure, but its just adult consenting prostitution at the end of the day. Oldest industry in the world.

Are there children being abused there? Most likely, but the authorities in those countries are constantly watching for it. If OPs friends says he visited a 30yr old prostitute then 99.99% thats what happened."

I'm guessing you've never been to Pattaya.

"If OPs friends says he visited a 30yr old prostitute then 99.99% thats what happened"

But he could have got a 30 year old without the costs of flights and a hotel and food if he were in any way a decent human being or able to pretend to be one for a few weeks. No need for money to exchange hands, a few half-truths would do.

But I bet he went to see the beaches and the monkeys and the stunning temples also didn't he, the poor misunderstood cultured man

It was you who suggested it was a good thing because it's worth billions to the tourist industry, Ccpccp.

The authorities in 'those countries' are 'watching for it' all right - so that they too can stick their greedy fingers in the pot.

Must be nice for you to live in a world where everything is all right as long as it contributes to the bottom line, everything is well regulated, and no-one gets hurt.

A 30 year old prostitute in Thailand would be either dead or looking so haggard she would never attract any customers. She would have been chewed up and discarded by the time she reached her mid 20s at the latest. How could she compete with the 13 year old girls (and boys)? Get real.

YANBU - the sex trade is something very degrading and of course there are children doing this work in places like Thailand. Besides the fact that paying for someone to have sex with you is pretty unpleasant, I think that seeking out sex (in a very far away place) and deluding yourself that there is no victim is immoral...

And he says she was 30 - but since when is a guess an okay foundation? Children can do this work if they are 'developed' enough.

I would have a very different view of anyone I knew if I found out something like this.

I cant read this its far too upsetting. He wouldn't be allowed in my housae ever.

house

That is exactly what I was going to say mathanxiety. Thirty year old would be looking like sixty if she were lucky but more likely dead

I had a stand-up row with a mate once when we met up with a few boys who had been on a lads holiday to Thailand. They were very young themselves and good-looking enough to be more interested in the slightly older more womanly other tourists.

My friend was going on about how prostitution was very empowering but she was on course to becoming a deputy head teacher having had the benefit of a private education. I was not impressed and told her so. Then she broke all the chairs in my rented house by jumping on them and fucked off but that's another story.

Magicmummy1 you are absolutely right. If you haven't been then it is hard to possibly imagine. The dead look behind the eyes of these girls. They have no life whatsoever it is deeply deeply troubling.

Did you manage to make eye contact with any of these ridiculous european men? I spent the whole time there in burning anger and could not go out in the so called tourist strip at all in the end. They will not look European women in the face because they know they look utterly ridiculous and that it is all so fake and wrong.

You aren't wanted there as a European woman, I even had them trying to pull my husband away and ridiculing myself and my SIL for not letting our partners go to titty bars and sleep with other women.

I've seen a few well known people there too in places that just turned my stomach.

"It was you who suggested it was a good thing because it's worth billions to the tourist industry, Ccpccp." - mathanxiety

I think you'd have trouble proving that one. Read what I said, not what ISNT tried to make out I'd said.

This is AIBU remember. Misreading posts is par the course if it leads to a good bunfight

"I'm guessing you've never been to Pattaya." - magicmummy1

Nope. What did you see there?

"I'm guessing you've never been to Pattaya." - magicmummy1

Nope. What did you see there?

Honestly speaking, I saw too much, and I'd rather not write about it. It made me physically sick at the time, and it still makes me feel sick now.

But you're a fool if you think that children aren't exploited in the Thai sex industry. And so is anyone who believes that these women are all consenting adults who actually have a choice about what they do.

Isn't Thailand the renowned for children being involved in prostitution and also Lady-boys (effeminate men). Virtually everyone is invovled in the sex industry there men, women children. I don't see why you would want to get invovled in that scene seems like risky business to me.

Bullshit that she was 30. She would have been considered past it and the Pimp would have got rid of her.

Men go to Thailand for children or for women that look not much older than children.

www.1stoppattaya.com/hospitality/prostitutes_hookers this is a middle of the road tourist website for Pattaya. So if you haven't been and want to see what is acceptable for them to promote here it is.

Can I just remind everyone that prostitution is actually still illegal in Thailand.

My dh's sdad's wife pointed out various girls at the open air bars who were 15 - 17 years old on a regular basis. There are people having sex with these girls behind the toilets in the shared facilities and on the beaches. They blatantly take them to hotels. They feel proud to have these girls on their arms because they feel good and convince themselves that these girls think they are the hottest thing around.