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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to go of a friend who has just been on a sex tourist trip to Thailand?

457 replies

Hairyjumper · 29/01/2011 01:18

Single male friend, just been on 2 weeks holiday where he paid women to fuck him.
Have had quite a cerebral discussion with him about it.
He says it is not seedy , no pimps blah blah.

I thought I was open minded but it just seems wrong.

OP posts:
BaroqueAroundTheClock · 29/01/2011 14:57

ooo - hello - took me a couple of minutes to engage brain and figure out what you were on about with summer castles - but yes I get it - very nice Smile

TotorosOcarina · 29/01/2011 15:04

I got about one fifth through this thread, had to stop reading. I feel sick and have cried for the women and children of Thiland.

cory · 29/01/2011 15:15

There is no way you can get round one salient fact:

if your friend really wanted a prostitute who was of age, had entered the profession as an adult and exercised some measure of control over her life, then he would hardly have chosen to look for one in Thailand

the fact that he did choose Thailand indicates that this was precisely what he did not want

and that, to me, would be enough to put me off the friendship

dittany · 29/01/2011 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clevercloggs · 29/01/2011 15:20

maybe he is looking for a new bride

Acanthus · 29/01/2011 15:21

He can say what he wants about the girl not being exploited and having no pimp, but since presumably she is his only source of information, it's pretty unlikely to be the whole truth, I'd have thought.

What an arse.

ccpccp · 29/01/2011 15:47

Is my factual contribution annoying you ISNT?

OP - your friend visited thailand and went with a 30yr old woman. Hes not a pedo.

ISNT · 29/01/2011 16:05

I would like to see where you got your information from, that child prostitution is unusual in thailand and the people who do use child prostitutes are usually brought to justice and punished severely. That most prostitutes working in the country are doing so of their own free will and trafficking, coercion and pimps are rarities.

I think you're talking out of your arse, frankly.

Haven't you read the posts on here from people who have lived and worked out there, what they have seen? Do you think they are lying? Or do you know full well what goes on and basically just not care, because if a man wants to get his end away that trumps the right of women and children not to be raped?

ISNT · 29/01/2011 16:07

However taking AFs comments on board it is correct that there are people who think that the systematic abuse of women and children around the world is all a bit of a laugh, and if there's a shag in it then actually it's a bloody good thing.

So I don't think there's much point in engaging, that is right.

dittany · 29/01/2011 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 29/01/2011 16:12

no, ISNT, there is no point in engaging with somebody like that...being prosecuted and outed as a john is the only thing they understand

he will never answer those salient points you make

it's all about free choice, you see

people with free choice paying money gives them the right to fuck people against their will ...that trumps everything else

he will say the people getting fucked are exercising "free will" you see, but that is where the argument falls down for reasonable people wih a social conscience like you and I

not so, for people like him

Katey1010 · 29/01/2011 16:21

There is one thing that I have never been able to understand. When there are sex slaves (in the UK, I am thinking where it could be reported) men must go in and out of those brothels all the time, they must see the bruises and the scars and the age of some of these girls/women. No one shops the place to the Police, no one reports it. Of all the hundreds and thousands who go in and out not one has empathy or shame or a crack in their denial. I have seen the state some of these girls get into (worked with male and female sex workers) and there is no way a rational human being wouldn't know there was coercion. I won't go into some of the physical 'symptoms' of having this kind of life but the men who use these women must know and not care.

I'm another person who wishes that the sex trade could be policed and cleaned up and I do wish this could be done by legalisation but I don't think it is possible.

AnyFucker · 29/01/2011 16:24

and there is no way a rational human being wouldn't know there was coercion. I won't go into some of the physical 'symptoms' of having this kind of life but the men who use these women must know and not care.

you got it, katey

I wouldn't legalise it though

I would like to live in a society where people are punished for attempting to buy access to another person's body

LittleMissHissyFit · 29/01/2011 16:28

On the Relationships board if we found out that a P or a H ever used prostitutes, it is pretty much an avalanche of Run For The Hills.

Why would we tolerate that behaviour in anyone in our circle?

I'd definitely drop anyone from my circle of friends that I knew had paid for sex.

corblimeymadam · 29/01/2011 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bishboschone · 29/01/2011 16:33

my FIL used to go to Thailand for holidays, we all knew what for. He is in his 60's and didn't fancy women his age (basically the only ones he could pull) because they were usually fat and lazy(his words). He likes Thai women and one holiday he came back with a wife.

She is 30 years younger than him and was beautiful when she came over..sadly England has made her chubby and now is not beautiful but hey ho.

She has many Thai lady friends who have married english men and we have socialised with them. I have stopped this now as I find it too upsetting. One couple is a very rich very fat smelly arrogant bigoted man who hs a very young beautiful Thai wife. He slags off her food , her friends and gropes her in a very creepy way. I find the whole culture very sad that these girls will basically sell their bodies permanentely to have a better life. I know its their choice bla bla but I bet she didn't kow her life was going to be like that.

ensure · 29/01/2011 16:59

Surely the only reason to go to Thailand for sex is if you want a) a child, or b) to do something revolting and degrading with an adult prostitute.

He wouldn't be my friend any more.

LadyBiscuit · 29/01/2011 17:03

Actually - in the OP it says he 'paid women' - so multiple women, not just one.

I think this is all a load of bull personally but it's been an eye-opening conversation.

The 'oh well he's single' argument is quite jaw-dropping. You're not married so it's okay to exploit women in 3rd world countries? Do morals not matter if you're not married?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/01/2011 17:19

How can anybody think this is acceptable ?

I'm sat at home, cuddled up under a blanket with my 9 year old son, the cats snoring between us, he is so secure and loved, it dosen't need saying.

And yet a few hours plane ride away there will be another little boy the same age who can only hope the next big man won't hurt him too much.

And if he lives, if he isn't one of the unlucky ones whos little bodies can't take the rape and pain anymore so their tiny little body gives up that little boy will grow up to be a very damaged adult, still doing the only thing he knows.

It doesn't make it any better because they're now an adult, they're still being abused.

Sad
VivaLeBeaver · 29/01/2011 17:27

This is a informative article for anyone who wants to know more about the Sex Slave trade in Europe. The Natasha Trade

tralalala · 29/01/2011 17:31

agree with apocalypse.

THe sex industry is full of abused, vulnerable, damaged children and adults.

He would never be my friend again. I could never be friends with a man that treated women in this way.

I've worked with sex workers in the UK and some of their life stories are beyond horrific. Why anyone thinks it is close to OK to pay into this industry is very deluded, naive and knows frankly fuck all about the things some of these women have gone through. THe vicicous and vile men that act as pimps, andslave masters. The amount of rape, forced prostitution and explotation that goes on.

And if they know and still choose to provide a market for these fuckers then they really do not deserve friends.

slug · 29/01/2011 17:32

Sex tourism in Thailand was Jozef Fritzel's holiday of choice. He's in such illustrious company Hmm

Miggsie · 29/01/2011 17:37

Are there really freelance prostitutes who don't have a pimp?

Really?

And in Thailand? Where you can get a girl sent up as part of room service....

Of course every girl has a pimp, and if she doesn't she will next week, because no pimp will allow a freelance on his patch.
And it isn't likely a girl with no other form of income would say "it makes me puke just thinking of having sex with you, but if I don't I'll starve, or my pimp will break both my legs."

And yes, poor families sell their daughters into prostitution as a form of income.

mathanxiety · 29/01/2011 18:47

ccpccp - sigh.

If it's worth billions to the tourist trade and that makes it a good thing, why not campaign for more of it in the west? Surely you have the right as a taxpayer to ensure that the government leaves no stone unturned before going to you pocket. I urge you to write to your MP and point out the stunningly obvious idea that so many Parliamentary representatives seem to have missed completely. Having a roaring prostitution trade would put the Great back in British tourism in no uncertain fashion.

AnyFucker · 29/01/2011 18:49

well of course, math

why hasn't Cameron thought of that

we could wipe out the deficit quick-smart !

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