to go of a friend who has just been on a sex tourist trip to Thailand?

[Hairyjumper]

Single male friend, just been on 2 weeks holiday where he paid women to fuck him.
Have had quite a cerebral discussion with him about it.
He says it is not seedy , no pimps blah blah.

I thought I was open minded but it just seems wrong.

This is why i want prostitution made legal. Leaving the morals aside, people are always, it seems going to want to pay for sex. Surely a legal, regulated industry is the way to go. And with the amount of revenue in tax raised it would plug the deficit in six months

But seriously, this would negate the need for people to go on sex tourism holidays - which i do find seedy, sad and would be very if a friend of mine did that and have no problem with prostitution per se, so long as it is on the woman's terms, but is it, ever? i cant answer that. There have been times over the past few years when i have seriously considered it, SERIOUSLY considered it, due to financial difficulties, but im no oil painting and figured i would probably have to fuck some dirty old man for £50 and not be earning the £400 that Belle du jour claimed she earnt!!

brightlight - it is legal in Amsterdam, yet still the traffiking, and slavery, and the associated crime rings that go with it are rife.

\link{http://www.guardian.co.uk/slideshow/page/0,,2013927,00.html\not only in Thailand - but England too}

Why is that i wonder Baroque? (genuine question)its incredibly sad isn't it. I suppose where there is need there is always going to be some, sorry, cunt who will exploit it :(

Hey HairyJumper, I know you are trying to be very fair to someone you like/d, but your friend is not being sexually liberated or open-minded. He is using another human being for his own gratification.

A young girl, pimp or no pimp, is not going to have sex for money because she enjoys it, but because she needs the money. To survive. Otherwise the money wouldn't be involved.

You only have your friend's version of events; of course he wants to think that she enjoyed it. And of course he wants to excuse himself. It's narcissistic self-justification at its most simplistic. He is exploiting someone else's disadvantage in a really horrible way.

During your discussion, I bet he tried to make you feel that you were being repressed or closed-minded for having a problem with what he does. Well, you're not: your instinctive response is sound - he's just trying to manipulate you into endorsing his enjoyment of sexually exploiting another person. Your mind is open to empathising with another person, with that unknown sex-worker; his is closed, shut up and focused only on his own sexual pleasure and sense of power over someone else. Niiiiiice.

I'd drop him immediately if I were you. Maybe suggest he buy himself another friend, if he thinks that sort of transaction between two people is so genuine.....!

YANBU to off him. I would be deleting his number.

Horrific stories on this thread.

Just out of interest... I know someone that went on a lads trip to Budapest, is it the same there? I've always been about it.

what about looking from the man's point of view - just a thought, surely legalised prostitution protects the customer too, as in if a man has to/wants to pay for sex, then it would be better to have a prostitute who he could be assured was free from disease and doing it of her own volition and happy with her choices. That in my mind would be ok if a man wanted that, it is the scum who dont give a shit about the woman who quite frankly, should be castrated. Does that make sense?

But like you say Baroque, its legal in many countries i suppose and there is still exploitation, i woudlnt know where to start to put that right.

I would tell him he was a child abuser rapist and never speak to him again.

In what warped reality is this ever acceptable?

I am afraid I don't agree wiht the idea that there if there is how can I put "clean", as in monitored by the state , consenting sex to be paid for available, the rest will not be around. It makes for depressing reading. There are even websites for men who choose to pay for sex with women (and indeed boys/men) held in sex slavery. There seems to be a particular attractin in it for them. I cannot remember what they call themselves but they openly discuss where have they have been and so on the internet. I couldn't personally face looking at something like that but have seen excerpts printed in books. The enforced aspect of it appeals to some people as does the possibility of doing whatevery you want (which I choose not to elaborate) with people who have no choice but to submit.

My ex BIL goes on "diving" holidays to Thailand, he is exactly the type of man who would enjoy sex with 12 year olds and convince himself that they are enjoying it too.

Sick.

I just had to bite my lip very very hard. By sheer utter co-incidence as exH was picking the DS's up a bloke that knows him walked past and was bragging about how he was off to Thailand in May.

I nearly lost the bloody plot there and then.

I think if it was legalised it would be too expensive due to business and personal taxes in the UK it would also be regulated.

So these saddos would still go to thailand to practise the unacceptable for a better rate.

Incidentally you can see the types over there who earn about £8000 a year but get off on the fact that these girls think they are millionaires because they buy them a meal and a coke. They kid themselves about it all as it is the only way they can look in the mirror. They feel powerful over these poor girls. Even if they are buying them food it will always be for some personal benefit.

I stopped all contact with dh's sdad as he lives there in Pattaya and thinks it is acceptable.

I hadn't visited an orphanage but wish I had thought about this and taken dh's sdad, since having my ds I won't go back. Especially after hearing about the activities of these perverts after the Tsunami. Apparently they were touring the hospitals looking for kids -Thai and European who had lost their parents, so they could either take them for their own use or start sex trafficking them. In the middle of a country wide tragedy and chaos they were deviously planning their own fucking sordid pleasures.

I would be on pins the whole time if I took my ds and if any European even innocently spoke or looked at my ds I would not be able to rationally act and would probably bottle them.

I think all Westerners should have their DNA samples taken and put on record and they should have to pay for this themselves before being allowed to enter the country - like a country tax. Then these poor children should be tested and matched to their fathers and sent a bill for the orphanage, health and schooling costs.

Thanks to the posters with real working experience of this who have opened my eyes even more to it. Even though I feel slightly nauseous the big picture needs to be understood.

Yanbu.

Obviously you see your male friend in a different light now, but some men are driven by their d_s and to be able to have sex with scantilly dressed beautiful women at the drop of a hat is too irresistible for some.I think you have to see it for yourself to understand why men are lured into this, I think it is seedy but you have to also realise that many of these women are desperate to get out of their country and want to marry a foreigner for a better life, selling their bodies is just another way of getting out of the poverty trap.

YANBU.
I would think it was seedy and wrong too.
Firstly he doesn't know for sure what the circumstances are and whether the women are being exploited.
nd secondly, he thinks it's OK to buy a woman like you would a tin of beans in a supermarket and use her to basically wank himself off.

YABU - its his business.

YANBU - he shouldnt have talked about it and probably didnt realise you'd be as upset as you are.

Just tell him you love him and we can have a happy ending to this saga.

You have read the stories of raped children on this thread ccp and that is your response?

It's all fine?

Blimey.

Did the guy rape a child?

No.

Er...YANBU.

That's just grim.

I would go off him too. It shows that he is able to depersonalise women and see them as nothing more than objects. I went off a few male friends of mine when I found out they were able to do this too.

I had thought better of them and was disappointed and couldn't see them in the same light.

If it's your instinct to feel this way, then there is good reason for that. I saw earlier on in the thread that you said you were open to being persuaded otherwise (I've only read the first few posts as have to go out now). I found that I was open about things until men I know were doing them and then suddenly I had to reevaluate how I felt about prostitutes/strip clubs.

Any man who can treat a woman as nothing more than an object and who can delude himself that the woman is enjoying it (most of my friends) isn't someone I want to be around.

FishKebabs - you're talking about it like it's something that some men can't control. It is perfectly easy to stop yourself booking a two week holiday to Thailand to fuck young girls.

ccp you have read all of the stories on this thread and that is the only comment you make.

You have read about sex trafficing, children being raped, that most of the adults working in that part of the world will have been forced to start when they were children. You have heard stories of babies in orphanages with HIV and about beatings and murder. You have heard that many of these women are under duress and that there is no way for the person buying them to know whether that is the case or not.

Yet this is all fine.

"if it was legalised it would be too expensive... So these saddos would still go to thailand to practise the unacceptable for a better rate."

Do you have any idea how expensive a return plane ticket to Thailand is, even before hotels and spending money?

I think they go for the children cote, much harder to find over here, and consequences if you are caught.

I've recently looked into the sex trade of children for research of a book I'm penning, and what I found most unusual is that the men (usually British, Dutch, American and Canadian)) travel as far as Thailand, Laos and Cambodia for a CHILD. Usually little boys.

THe children are normally sold by their parents from the hills/mountains and are usually kept in the backs of clubs, usually strip clubs. Similar to child porn-those who want to find it, usually do. They enter the strip club, use a key word and are lead to the back where the children (as young as 4) are dressed as mini adults and "servicing" men.

If your friend wanted a prostitute, even a Thai/S.E Asian prostitute, he could've got one from Britain...sex with a minor however, would've been harder to find and probably more expensive, hence he went abroad where he knows it goes on and is less likely to get lost in red tape.

Use your brain. I won't even VISIT countries like Thailand or China again as a lot of the tourist income goes into funding bars/hotels/clubs where child sex trafficking is their main attraction.

I see there has been a lot of debate about the moral issues here, so I won't add any more.

Bottom line for me, this man would no longer be my friend. I would drop him like a fucking hot potato and have done exactly that in the past for similar reasons. I don't need the friendship of a person who can do this, and see no wrong in it.

I would tell him why, then never interact with him again.

I seriously don't understand people who don't see any harm in all of this.