to go of a friend who has just been on a sex tourist trip to Thailand?

[Hairyjumper]

Single male friend, just been on 2 weeks holiday where he paid women to fuck him.
Have had quite a cerebral discussion with him about it.
He says it is not seedy , no pimps blah blah.

I thought I was open minded but it just seems wrong.

I don't think I could remain friends with someone who condones such obvious exploitation. He is naive if he believes what he has been told, sadly, and for me it suggests a power hungry individual who is seeking to make up for and escape inadequacies in his "normal" life. I doubt it stops at a sex tourist holiday once in a while either, although I doubt he'll tell you that.

nope - wouldn't be my friend any more either.

27 million slaves in the world right now, most of them in the sex trade, most of them trafficked as children.

DH has a friend - has known him more than 40 years - who regularly goes to Thailand on "diving" holidays. He leaves his wife and two beautiful young sons behind so he can go and pay for sex with teenage girls. I personally can't be in the same room as him. And yes, there are the same excuses - no pimp, they're financially independent, they enjoy it, etc etc.

We have friends who visited Sri Lanka some years ago, who kept seeing a young boy of about 7 being handed over to "clients" at their hotel. My friend was describing to me the utter hopelessness of standing there in tears arguing with the hotel staff while watching a 50-something German man lead this little boy up the stairs to his room. This is the reality, not the story your friend is peddling.

an those who talk about Amsterdam, being better - well there's major issues with trafficking women there too.

A friend of my husband's does this.

his catchphrase is "they've gotta be young"

YANBU - Drop him as a friend he is not worth it .....

That story is horrible paws - anyone who supports that kind of industry immediately goes down inmy estimation, I'm afraid!

Maybe I'm in the minority but I can't understand the attraction of paying someone to have sex with you, especially in the kind of environment where the party involved is not always giving themselves willingly. I can't help but think that anyone who enjoys it must have ishoos with sex or power.

Oh god Hoover that made me nearly bring up my breakfast. I'd seriously junk punch the guy.

unfortunately there are women held as sex slaves in Amsterdam too, often they are from Eastern Europe (Moldovia, Belorussia, etc in particular). These girls and young women are sold against their knowledge or wish (obviously) into the sex trade, sometimes by neighbours or people they know, sometimes they are tricked into believing they will be working abroad as waitresses etc, they are gang-raped into submission and held as sex slaves with no pay. Sometimes the Dutch police discover and can release some of them. There is plenty of evidence that these women are all around us working against their wills in this horrible "trade". No need to go to Thailand

ah sorry see crossed posts with baroque. Everywhere there is perceived to be a "market" for sex slaves, you will unfortunately find them.

I am intrigued by the perception that prostitution is regulated in Amsterdam. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that many of the sex-trade workers there are lured from Eastern Europe with tales of a successful career. They are then forced into prostitution and become addicted to drugs in oder to cope (as much as possible) with the effects.

There is something wrong with a man who feels that it is acceptable to pay for sex.

maggotbin I use the term "friend" loosely....we dont speak to him now

he goes to cuba for his btw

...And I was worried about being off topic. Xed posts with Baroque and ZZen.

oh absolutely ZZZZ -even her in the UK . There is a reason the Poppy Project was set up in the UK....it's here around us in the UK too

If its so legal etc , why doesnt he just stay home and do it? Why sneak off to foreign lands?

(the above by the way being a public funded one) - there are of course charities up and down the country helping these women too.

Haven't read the whole thread, but if you get the chance, visit an orphanage in Thailand. You will see dozens of Eurasian babies, 2 to a cot, many of whom are HIV positive. I defy anyone to think that this is OK. This is a side of the Thai sex trade that the tourists don't see.

Yes zzzen it is a very different picture in Amsterdam to how it was 10 or 15 years ago.

I was friendly with one girl who was using prostitution to pay for her Ph.D. She was protected and although not satisfied was safe and looked after and well paid. She felt it was an equal exchange and a means to an end.

These days the brothels there are run by eastern bloc mafia also so these women are as trapped and hopeless as the Thai prostitutes. I am sure the rules aren't as strict on acceptable behaviour either so there are probably as many sick twisted pervious getting their kicks in Holland too.

Still I think the major pervious go to Thailand to get value for money makes me sick to my stomach.

I actually reported someone to the police on crimestoppers for this behaviour as he was bringing the material and photos home to the UK.

I'm amazed any man would freely admit that he can't get a woman within a 200 mile radius to screw him for nothing .... How ugly is he, exactly?

This thread is just so utterly heartbreaking. I can't bear it. I couldn't be friends with someone who did this.

Oh and a colleague of DH's went on a lads only holiday to Morocco because his marriage was in trouble and he needed time to "think". Apparently this thinking time involved having sexual relations (in the Clinton sense of the word) with a prostitute - not only that but his wife's brother was at it with another girl in the next room. But it was all OK because it wasn't "full sex" as he put it and his brother in law reassured him it was OK .

Funny enough he and his wife divorced a year or so later.

Chil1234 I think your comment shows it isn't just about getting sex. It's about the power trip of paying for sex and/or getting something you wouldn't otherwise get over here.

YANBU, he needs to be educated. He was using these exploited girls for sex, no mater how he might try and justify it to himself or you that they are happy/its business etc. If he knows the facts he might think and act differently but I suspect he chooses not to and just thought with his dick.

He's disgusting. I would tell him to get out of my life and I would tell everyone who knew him why. In fact, if I could I would put a big sign over his house so that everyone could know what he thought about women and children. Twunt.

I think I'd loose all respect for a friend who did this - for all the reasons listed above.

I don't agree (as some on here have suggested) that "friendship" somehow requires unconditional acceptance of a person's behaviour.