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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not confirm my details when it is a company that phone me, not the other way around?

92 replies

CrapBag · 28/01/2011 20:00

A while ago a catologue that I have been with for years started doing this. They would phone me and ask me to confirm my details to them. I refused saying that they had phoned me and I had no way of knowing who they were. They weren't overly happy and said they could confirm it and they couldn't offer me the service they were phoning for if I wouldn't confirm my details to them. I still refused and after a few calls like this, they gave up.

Today someone phoned. He had a very very strong accent and I really struggled to understand him but he was asking something about a Sky dish and then I heard the name of the people who owned this house 3 years ago (that we still get sodding phone calls for). I told him I wasn't Mrs XXXXX and I already had Sky. He said something about not trying to sell me anything but wouldn't tell me what he was phoning for then wanted me to confirm my details to him. I refused and he was obviously annoyed about it. I heard the name of the previous owners a couple more times and all I would say was that I wasn't them and they hadn't lived here for 3 years. He kept asking me to confirm my details and telling me that he wasn't selling anything but he wouldn't tell me what he was phoning for. He was getting quite shirty as I wouldn't tell him who I was. I ended up firmly stating, yet again, that I wouldn't confirm who I was and I put the phone down as he just wouldn't listen and take no for an answer.

AIBU to not want to tell any old person on the end of the phone who I am and anything else they may ask? Is this becoming standard with companies now? They phone you and then want you to tell them who you are?

OP posts:

GreenEyesandHam · 28/01/2011 20:02

I've had this. NO I won't confirm, YOU rang ME, idiot

cazza40 · 28/01/2011 20:03

Yanbu I hate it when I have those types of phone calls !

ChunkyPickle · 28/01/2011 20:04

Absolutely not - and any company that's done that (bank for instance after suspicious credit card activity) have been perfectly fine about giving me a reference so I can look up the number myself and call them back.

KalokiMallow · 28/01/2011 20:05

That drives me absolutely mad!

My favourite was, "can you confirm your card details?",
"um.. no.. you rang me, how do I know who you are?"
"well if you give me your card details then it will show up on your next statement"

curlymama · 28/01/2011 20:05

YANBU. It surprises me that these companies think we should give our details, but some people must do it, which surprises me even more!

BeerTricksPotter · 28/01/2011 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

schoolsecretary · 28/01/2011 20:06

YANBU I just say you phoned me, you should know my details! If they don't like it I ask for a number of their main switchboard and say I will call if I am interested in whatever it is? If they don't like it tough

Tokyotwist · 28/01/2011 20:09

These companies are usually fishing for information. They do not know who you are, just have a list of phone numbers and are trying to match it to details so they can target you with their product and or sell your information on.

I never share and I am often quite rude if they don't stop talking after I've said I'm not interested. This usually results in but I'm trying to help you save money.
What part of "I'M NOT INTERESTED" do you not understand?

My father in law has a better way, he just puts the phone down on the sofa and lets them talk for as long as they want.

pawsnclaws · 28/01/2011 20:09

I used to get this a lot from a certain building society - they used to ring to speak to DH, ask who they were speaking to and when he would be in, then refuse to tell me who they were!

After a couple of cross exchanges it turned out that they wanted to "offer" DH some useless financial products - and wouldn't talk to me, even though our only account with them was a joint one, because his name was first on the account details. I basically told them no details, no message.

mitochondria · 28/01/2011 20:11

I get these.

"Is Mrs Usedtolivethere here?"
"No, she doesn't live here any more"
"Oh, are you the homeowner?"
"Yes"
"What is your name?"
"None of your business, now please go away"

I'm not always as polite.

redpanda13 · 28/01/2011 20:12

YANBU. It could have been a debt collector if he mentioned the names of the people who used to live there. I got one the other day who asked for my name but with a different middle name. When I said no that person has never lived here they proceeded to ask if I had ever lived in some town I had never heard of. They then hung up when I said no.

I did have a caller once try to get me to confirm my details so I could get a new mobile. I suspected they were phishing so I refused. They then called me a schmuck. I know much better swear words. They hung up

TheCrackFox · 28/01/2011 20:13

YANBU

Banks have even started to do this. How the hell do I know if you really are from the bank? FWIW if it is really important they would send a letter.

missalien · 28/01/2011 20:13

Ive had a massive row with family credit when I called them recently. But to get access to my details I had to tell them my past address, my previous employment etc. Apparently they could not confirm if these details were correct so I have to make an appointment at my local tax office and drag myself and baby there cos I dont know who I am . Fucking Infuriating

pawsnclaws · 28/01/2011 20:13

Oh and I am currently being plagued by emails from two "banks" (both of which I have accounts with) asking me to respond by email confirming my personal/account details. Always signed off "regards [name of bank]".

Yes, absolutely - name pawsnclaws, DOB yesterday .... you plonkers.

catinthehat2 · 28/01/2011 20:15

if they need to call you they will give you a number you can check, otherwise tell them to stick it.

eg - this week I had call from my credit card claiming NOT to be a sales call. I returned it, ended up in the anti frausd dept.

I still wouldn't give them any info (mainly to see how they would play it), & they were entirely cool & professional with this and asked me to call the custonmer services no on the back of my card. I got through to them that way, and all was sorted.

the dead giveaway that it's sales is the "won't take no for an answer" stupidity.

treat it with contempt

cumfy · 28/01/2011 20:18

YANBU

I have had HSBC do this with me.

"Just contacting you re:XYZ. Blah blah blah. Can I just confirm some security details, before I proceed"

Piss the fuck off

Well actually I asked why they were scripted to conduct the call in this manner when it clearly contradicts their own security advice.
They then back down at 100 mph and give a phone number.

TheSecondComing · 28/01/2011 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CrapBag · 28/01/2011 20:23

Glad its not just me who gets these and finds them utterly infuriating. Maybe I am being a bit too polite actually. The exchange today did go on for a while before I hung up.

I often get e mails from my bank saying they wouldn't ask me to confirm anything to them in an email so why do companies think we will do it on the phone?

OP posts:

redpanda13 · 28/01/2011 20:30

missalien - sorry but if you answer two questions wrong thats what happens. You would be outraged if someone falsely claimed tax credits in your name. There have been some major fraud cases with tax credits. Such as 100s of railway workers details being used.Thats why you can't renew online now.
I used to work in a jobcentre and you would be suprised at how many bogus calls there are. About 90% of them were debt collection agencies trying it on for information. Thats why I knew it was one who called me. I can recognise their style. We used to have DV cases were the ex partner was trying to get information. So sorry you were inconvenienced by having to take your baby to the tax office.

DrNortherner · 28/01/2011 20:31

I agree. Someone from Sky called em yesterday and asked me to confirm what type of sky box I had so he could access my account

I said you tell me, you provided it. So he asked my name instead. I hung up.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2011 20:32

i agree

someone rings up and asks to speak to the homeowner

i said thats me

they ask who i am

i reply if you are ringing ME, YOU should know that

stillfrazzled · 28/01/2011 20:34

DH gets lots of calls from people trying to flog him new phones/contracts.

He always says yes, he'll buy whatever they're selling...

...if they can tell him his name and address.

No-one ever has. Is evil to get their hopes up, I suppose, but quite funny.

upahill · 28/01/2011 20:38

A few months ago, I think it was September, we got a phone call at 9.01am on SUNDAY morning from someone claining to be DH's bank.
He refused to talk to them (we were still in bed after a heavy night0

Next morning he rings his bank manager to see what the story was. The bank manager confirms it to be true YES the bank WAS ringing up at the fecking time.

Bank Manager was told in a way that he probably won't forget that it will never happen again!

missalien · 28/01/2011 20:41

Cut it wasnt. The wrong information I know who I am and where I lived :-( they didn't !

Original poster

CrapBag · 28/01/2011 20:44

I like that Stillfrazzled.

How annoying on a Sunday morning!!!! I get pissed off enough when its evenings.

OP posts:

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