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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not confirm my details when it is a company that phone me, not the other way around?

92 replies

CrapBag · 28/01/2011 20:00

A while ago a catologue that I have been with for years started doing this. They would phone me and ask me to confirm my details to them. I refused saying that they had phoned me and I had no way of knowing who they were. They weren't overly happy and said they could confirm it and they couldn't offer me the service they were phoning for if I wouldn't confirm my details to them. I still refused and after a few calls like this, they gave up.

Today someone phoned. He had a very very strong accent and I really struggled to understand him but he was asking something about a Sky dish and then I heard the name of the people who owned this house 3 years ago (that we still get sodding phone calls for). I told him I wasn't Mrs XXXXX and I already had Sky. He said something about not trying to sell me anything but wouldn't tell me what he was phoning for then wanted me to confirm my details to him. I refused and he was obviously annoyed about it. I heard the name of the previous owners a couple more times and all I would say was that I wasn't them and they hadn't lived here for 3 years. He kept asking me to confirm my details and telling me that he wasn't selling anything but he wouldn't tell me what he was phoning for. He was getting quite shirty as I wouldn't tell him who I was. I ended up firmly stating, yet again, that I wouldn't confirm who I was and I put the phone down as he just wouldn't listen and take no for an answer.

AIBU to not want to tell any old person on the end of the phone who I am and anything else they may ask? Is this becoming standard with companies now? They phone you and then want you to tell them who you are?

OP posts:

Barbeasty · 29/01/2011 22:25

I refused to answer security questions asked by someone claiming to be from HSBC card services and the woman got really cross with me. She wouldn't tell me what she had called me about, and wouldn't give me a number to call back on.

About 3 weeks later I happened to open a letter addressed to "Mr The Occupier", rather than just binning it (as I tend to). It was from HSBC card services asking for a forwarding address for me as I was uncontactable. This time there was a number I could call.

Turned out the letter I hadn't collected and paid the postage for, since they had failed too, was a bill for the princely sum of £0 and when it was returned as undelivered it triggered the call.

I moved bank in a fit of pique.

We were getting the calls on behalf of BT. They won't put their offers in a letter. But when DH to complained to one of them that at least one call a night was too much when we a) are on TPS and b) really aren't interested, the lovely girl offered to take us off the list- not one call since.

reinitindear · 30/01/2011 00:30

YANBU I had a call on my Mobile asking for someone else I said it was the wrong number and was asked my name I refused to give it the woman proceeded to say she needed to establish I wasn't Mrs Wrongname asking how long I had had this number I stated that I had no obligation to tell her who I was and had no idea who she was or what it was about.She was very arsey and stopped short of calling me a liar but it was obviously what she thought.The sales calls I now just speak Welsh to them and they just hang up

rosie0000 · 30/01/2011 05:37

Some guy claiming to be from our bank turned up at our house on a Sunday afternoon wanting to tell us something new and exciting, apparently. When confronted with the total chaos (Ds loudly running around with sword, DD, 'mummy, I need my bottom wiped'), he understood it wasn't a good time. I told him to send us a letter in future.

Galena · 30/01/2011 12:22

I was furious with Tesco Mobile the other day - ordered 2 SIMs with them and they sent me a confirmation email telling me my username AND PASSWORD within the email. I immediately emailed the customer services department and let rip!

JeezyPeeps · 30/01/2011 13:01

This can sometimes really work in your favour. I have a couple of accounts that I don't use very much with the Shop Direct dgroup (littlewoods, very, additions etc).

Every time I do use them, they phone me to try and sell me insurance on the account.

Every time they need me to confirm my details first.

Well - it would be just stupid to confirm my details in order to get the hard sell now, wouldn't it!

For some reason they don't like it very much...

(They don't say they are selling insurance, they are phoning about 'services they can offer on my account').

kaid100 · 30/01/2011 14:01

I once visited the behind-the-scenes part of a credit card company, and one awkward situation they said they find themselves in is phoning a genuine customer to discuss something but having to get them to confirm their details (by law) but knowing that people are advised not to this when someone phones them. So sometimes companies do genuinely have to do this but they also realise that not everyone will confirm details, a genuine company will be understanding about this.

In short, YANBU

NorthernGobshite · 30/01/2011 14:12

I never give my details when a company rings me.

AddictedToRadley · 30/01/2011 14:54

We have registered with TPS and re-registered numerous times as for some reason we get taken off after just 6 months!!

If it was your bank calling I think there should be a pre-arranged question we can ask them then if they give the answer you previously gave them you know you're speaking with your bank, ie
Bank: Can I speak to Mrs ATR?
Me: Who's calling?
Bank: Crap Services Bank Plc
Me: Where did I live when I was 8?
Bank: XYZ Street

I would be happy then to give the security answers. Especially as I would give the address I lived at when I was say 18 not the real answer then nobody could find out the answer etc

When we first moved into our new house when I was 15 we regularly got phone calls for Mr V who lived at the house before he passed away. My late dad got sick of the phone calls on evenings and weekends. One particular Sunday afternoon we received the 5th call of the day and dad decided he'd had enough (and he did have a very wicked SOH). The phone call went something like this:
Caller: Can I speak to Mr V?
Dad: I'll just get him for you.
......2 mins later
Dad: Sorry just getting him.
Caller: No problem.
Dad (shouting in background several times "Tom, Tom, hurry up phone call")
.....5 mins go by
Dad: I'm sorry to keep you waiting he won't be long.
Caller: OK
......10-15 mins go by with random "Hurry up" shouts from dad.
Dad goes back to the phone surprised the caller's still there after about 30 minutes holding.
Dad: I'm really sorry mate but I can't wake him.
Caller: Shall I call back later?
Dad: Yeah, if you want but I don't know if I'll be able to wake him.
Caller: Why is he a heavy sleeper?
Dad: He never used to be but since be died I've never been able to wake him!
Caller: Ermm pardon???
Dad: Yes he's still dead like I've told your company over and over again.
Caller: ..............click - phone goes dead

Strangely enough they've never called back!! Lol
I would never have the guts to do that but my dad had told them so many times so I guess it served them right in the end!!

Talkinpeace · 30/01/2011 15:16

"Well you're just an English bitch so Fuck You"
was my best latest response to asking "who is calling"
Toe rag. How little does he know

TickettyBoo · 30/01/2011 15:46

YANBU AT ALL!

I hate these types of calls, Barclays rang me not long ago to talk about offers available and wanted to ask me security questions to validate who I was - told them no way as they'd rang me and could be anyone!! Think I might have been quite snotty

sloggies · 30/01/2011 16:21

YOU SHOULD NOT RING THEM BACK ON A NUMBER THEY GIVE YOU. BY ALL MEANS TAKE THE NO, BUT VERIFY IT YOURSELF.

muminthemiddle · 30/01/2011 16:26

YANBU.

Loved AddictedtoRadleys tale!

Original poster

CrapBag · 30/01/2011 19:04

PMSL at AddictedtoRadleys story!!

I would love to try that.

OP posts:

Talkinpeace · 30/01/2011 21:57

Radley : That is great.
We used to get "can we speak to Mr O" to which DH would normally reply "only if you have a ouija board"

Want2bSupermum · 31/01/2011 05:26

After being laid off here in the US I took a customer service job with a bank. If we saw a problem protocol was to call the customer up and ask them to log into their account. We could send messages to customers through an alert system so I would detail the problem in a message. This way I could call them and not have to ask them security questions (as long as they could get into their account). I would explain that they could either call back (I would only give out the generic bank number so they knew who they were calling) or I could assist but only after they answered some security questions. It was a system that work and I suggest that if a bank calls you ask them to send you a message detailing the problem.

Want2bSupermum · 31/01/2011 05:27

worked - not work!

Islandlady · 31/01/2011 07:28

It depends on who rings me.

I had two calls last week one was my old contact lens supplier who keep telling me I owe them money (I dont) however they wont talk to me unless I give my DOB and address - thats suits me fine I just refuse and they have to terminate the call.

HOWEVER, the next caller asked to speak to Islandlady when I confirmed they were speaking to me , identified themselves as my GP surgery and proceeded to talk to me about a test I needed, now they SHOULD have asked me to confirm my DOB and address before mentioning the test they didnt which is a breach of not only the DPA but medical confidentiality

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