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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not confirm my details when it is a company that phone me, not the other way around?

92 replies

CrapBag · 28/01/2011 20:00

A while ago a catologue that I have been with for years started doing this. They would phone me and ask me to confirm my details to them. I refused saying that they had phoned me and I had no way of knowing who they were. They weren't overly happy and said they could confirm it and they couldn't offer me the service they were phoning for if I wouldn't confirm my details to them. I still refused and after a few calls like this, they gave up.

Today someone phoned. He had a very very strong accent and I really struggled to understand him but he was asking something about a Sky dish and then I heard the name of the people who owned this house 3 years ago (that we still get sodding phone calls for). I told him I wasn't Mrs XXXXX and I already had Sky. He said something about not trying to sell me anything but wouldn't tell me what he was phoning for then wanted me to confirm my details to him. I refused and he was obviously annoyed about it. I heard the name of the previous owners a couple more times and all I would say was that I wasn't them and they hadn't lived here for 3 years. He kept asking me to confirm my details and telling me that he wasn't selling anything but he wouldn't tell me what he was phoning for. He was getting quite shirty as I wouldn't tell him who I was. I ended up firmly stating, yet again, that I wouldn't confirm who I was and I put the phone down as he just wouldn't listen and take no for an answer.

AIBU to not want to tell any old person on the end of the phone who I am and anything else they may ask? Is this becoming standard with companies now? They phone you and then want you to tell them who you are?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 28/01/2011 22:14

I have a foreign accent, so I always tell these people I'm just here temporarily on business or as a student.

oopslateagain · 28/01/2011 22:16

I keep getting calls from Barclays, saying they want to improve the services they offer me. Then they ask me the security questions. I refuse. They then give me a phone number to ring. Riiiiight, so I'm going to phone a number THEY give me, to confirm who they are? Hmm

I tell them to write to me with the information instead.

I know they're Barclays, I Goggled the number. But I'm still not giving them info.

They always ring at dinnertime, too.

zipzap · 28/01/2011 22:16

Just remembered - one phone number we had we had a set of problems with - was similar to the Eurostar number and people used to ring up at 4am to ask about train times. THey got very short shrift.

Also used to get city people ringing up wanting assorted currency prices and info - number had previously been used on a city desk (or was in a directory as being one) - was always tempted to shout sell or buy appropriately and see what happened if it caused any chaos in the system (obviously would have assumed that a friend was playing a practical joke if anybody mentioned it)

Most freaky one was when we kept getting phone messages for Mr Zipzap but we were never in to answer them and they never left reply number. All quite high powered people asking for us to ring back or let them know results of meeting with...

Finally I was ill one day and in when somebody called. Turned out it was a misprint in the internal directory - freaky thing was that the person shared DH's surname Shock(and they had never asked for him by first name). Phone was in my name, dh was dp at that time and thus had no association with the phone number, not like they had looked at the surname in directory enquiries and got their lines mixed up. Was somebody on the board of a bank - think maybe when lloyds and tsb were in talks about merging - and he was one of the people in charge of it on one side. if only we'd known what it was about could have had some insider info. Didn't even get a bunch of flowers for all the hassle they had caused us.

Want2bSupermum · 28/01/2011 22:23

Euphemia - When they want to speak to Mr w2b I kindly advise them that it isn't such a good idea. DH HATES it when our mortgage company insists on dealing with him and not me. He explodes with rage telling them that since they agreed to lend both of us money they should be ok speaking to either of us. Yet they still want to speak to him and not me!

toeragsnotriches · 28/01/2011 22:26

YABU. Take their number and tell them you'll call them back. Then check the number is kosher.

ravenAK · 28/01/2011 22:30

I just tell 'em to put it in writing. No, don't bother giving me a number to call back on - put it in writing & if it's important to me, then maybe I can be arsed to talk to you...

Particularly dislike debt collectors.

I used to get a lot of menacing letters & calls from debt collectors (from a business I ran jointly with my late dh - rather a lot of stuff I didn't know about came to light after he died). It went on for 10 years.

So I'd ring them & explain that I didn't acknowledge the debt, & anyway it was statute-barred.

They'd always insist that I put it in writing '...or we'll keep phoning you & we might even send a representative round'.

At which I'd tell them to feel free, if it kept them from bothering some other poor sod who might fall for their bullying bullshit.

& now I own a house that was previously in multiple occupancy, I get pestered for long departed tenants. NO! I am not going to 'give you my details to prove that I am not connected to Mr J Bloggs'!

Grrr.

KalokiMallow · 28/01/2011 23:01

Debt collectors are a particular nuisance, especially because even if you can prove that it's not you they want they will still not fuck off Angry

itsybitsy08 · 28/01/2011 23:18

I work for a goverment department and quite often have to ring people up to clarify personal information -we have to ask several security questions and it always completly amazes me how many people will tell me their full name, date of birth, address and national insurance number. And then go on to answer questions about their work, bank details and children for example! Im not complaining because it makes my job alot easier, but i always think how the hell do you know i am who i say i am?! And i often work up to 9pm a night!
YANBU!

oldraver · 28/01/2011 23:24

I used to have lotrs and lots of trouble with an energy supplier Southern Electric who would call at my door and insist on speaking to my late DH who they insisted they had got his name off their records. When challenged they would never admit they got his name off the (old) electorall roll.. he had never been a customer as bills were always in my name

I eventually phoned and complained to them and they tried everything to get my name out of me for 'their records' but I wouldn't give in. They were quite cross when I pointed out they didnt need my name just address to take me off their calling rota

KalokiMallow · 28/01/2011 23:27

The company I used to hear from most was 3 - except it was never them. Had one fuckwit (the same one who told me I could check my invoice for proof they were calling from 3 Hmm) try to tell me that my phone would be cut off if I hung up.

Original poster
CrapBag · 29/01/2011 12:35

I checked my telephone preference status last night as I was sure I had registered with them and I am!! Don't know why I am getting these calls. I have been getting quite a few of those horrible automated ones too.

Pissing me right off.

OP posts:
fluffygal · 29/01/2011 12:56

It doesn't matter if you are ex directory or TPS, there's a code to get round it (at least there was when I worked for a double glazing company- not one of the annoying callers though!).

babybarrister · 29/01/2011 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shesparkles · 29/01/2011 13:02

My bank once phoned me on a Saturday morning and wakened me up after I'd been on nightshift.

They got it from me hot and reeking and strangely enough have never called back since....

Meglet · 29/01/2011 13:07

YANBU.

I just say "No thanks" pretty much as soon as they start to speak. I hardly every get them these days as the number is ex-directory and on the TPS list.

Got one of the automatic ones the other week though Angry.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 29/01/2011 13:12

This is a real bugbear of mine:

Caller: Hello can I speak to Mrs Pixiegirl please

Me: Speaking

Caller: I just need to check security for you before we can proceed with the call

Me: For me?? How can it possibly be checked for me? You called me!

veritythebrave · 29/01/2011 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBroccoli · 29/01/2011 13:41

I used to be responsible for a website that had confidential data in it and we had a crack down on security. One of the options was to send an email to all the users asking them to confirm (by email) their password, and then we would suspend the account of anyone who actually did that.
We weren't brave enough to actually do it - I wish we had

ShineyMoonInAPurpleSky · 29/01/2011 14:17

I work for a bank and regularly have to call people to discuss their complaints. I have to call them, it's company policy and I have to ask their security details before I can talk to them - that's data protection law. It annoys me when they won't give their details but I do understand why. The problem is - I can't prove who I am over the phone so it's a catch 22 situation.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 29/01/2011 16:33

Why do you get annoyed though? Surely you should be pleased that they have their heads screwed on. As you say, you cannot prove who you are. How are they to tell that you are genuine whereas the person who called them yesterday was not?

And if they give details to a fraudster over the phone, who empties their bank account, would you not be the person saying they were responsible because they gave out information?

To avoid trying to suss who is real and who is not and what info you can safely give and what you can't, surely a bank would advise you to give no information?

I just can't see a bank giving someone back their money if they'd given their details to fraudsters!

ravenAK · 29/01/2011 19:35

Yes, but if you're ringing about a complaint the customer has made, that's different - they initiated the dialogue.

I'd not have a problem with 'Hello Mrs Raven, I'm calling with reference to your letter/call/email of - can I just go through a few security details to check I'm speaking to the right person?'

BeenBeta · 29/01/2011 19:40

I do love the ones that ring up and ask "Are you the owner of the property?"

As it happens I rent so I have a begun a little competition with myself to see I can get the word "No" out before they finish the question and then slam the phone down.

Talkinpeace · 29/01/2011 19:55

Hello, Are you the Householder?
No, I'm one of the baliffs
Click

penguin70 · 29/01/2011 20:02

YANBA to never give out details over the phone, and always call back on a number that you have obtained independently. I do believe that they also have every right to ask for identification even when phoning your house - child minders/ baby sitters/ workmen etc can be n your house when you're not there, would you like the bank to discuss private details with anyone who picked up your phone?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 29/01/2011 22:11

Yes, but I thought she said that she couldn't tell them anything until they'd gone through security. So it would be I'm from X bank I can't tell you any more until you tell me ...

I wouldn't give someone my details on the phone even if I had called the bank, because unless they said I'm returning your call about your complaint, or something, then it could be coincidence.

I am very suspicious Grin