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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with mothers who can't be bothered to work?

395 replies

HellaH · 28/01/2011 10:46

Went to a baby playgroup the other day and met yet another mother who has handed in her notice just because she has had a baby.

Thanks a lot! Now when I will go looking for a job employers will think that I too will hand in my notice if I fall pregnant again and will probably take on a man instead of me.

Can't wait for men to get more parental leave, maybe it will equal things out a bit!

And surely with the flexible working hours law and such a woman CAN go back to work without silly excuses.

OP posts:
porcine · 31/01/2011 11:24

Im not here for womankind. The only person who matters to me is a small boy. I am successful, I am educated, I am ambitious and I am very very fortunate that I can achieve what I want to whilst working part time. Life is great, we women afford so many more opportunities due to being able to CHOOSE>

gaelicsheep · 31/01/2011 18:34

Well you know what, I've just started back at work in my responsible job. I am existing on 3 hours sleep a night and have been for months now. I manage a large computer system, I have to drive, and I worry I cannot function enough to do my job. I will muddle through I'm sure - it will be my family that suffer in the evenings/weekends. I sure wish I didn't have to return to work while DD is still a baby/toddler!

I reckon anyone who thinks a baby is a "silly excuse" has never experienced the type of baby that I have! Or had a nanny, which is probably more likely.

thankgod4cbeebies · 31/01/2011 19:05

YANBU. Clearly you have an incredibly important job, and the world would collapse if you didn't attend. Now fuck off and go and do it.

northerngirl41 · 31/01/2011 19:36

I can think of lots of employers who'd prefer women to stay at home, rather than having to accommodate flexible hours, sick children, in-service days etc. or having someone who doesn't particularly want to be there working for them.

Good on the women who can afford to stay at home, and good on the women who choose to work too. Shame on the women who use their children as an excuse not to do a good job, I say!

Xenia · 31/01/2011 20:16

Amazing 100% of the rude people are housewives. Does that prove my point that on average it's those who never had much of a job and aren't as bright and therefore are worse at childrearing who are the ones at home?

gaelicsheep · 31/01/2011 20:19

Ooh Xenia, miaow!

gaelicsheep · 31/01/2011 20:22

Do you mean that the rude people are disagreeing with the OP? That's not exactly surprising. Have they all said they are housewives? I'm not and I think the OP is daft.

mrsgetonwithit · 31/01/2011 20:23

I work I can can be a right bitch.

lovechoc · 31/01/2011 20:27

"She might have done the maths and figured out that it'd be better economically for her to be a SAHM than if she worked and paid for childcare."

Spot on. This is the case for many out there including myself. I did enjoy my job but DH works shifts and it would have been impossible to get childcare at a weekend if we both were working, it would have cost an arm and a leg.

It actually works out cheaper for me to stay at home until they are at school.

YABU - stop being jealous of others circumstances.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 31/01/2011 20:28

xenia- you don't prove any points, women who never had much of a job may not have had the opportunities for 'much of a job', not necessarily becuase of their intellect. As for intellect making you a better mother is it not you who normally suggests she would have been bored at home all day with babies? How can that boredom be the best for a child?

As usual everyone who does not agree can only be a sahm who has sold out.

Women should be able to do whatever is appropriate for their circumstances regardless.

Ripeberry · 31/01/2011 20:30

Xenia is a man or wants to be one Hmm. Women can do what they like. Just because you are clever does not make you better than anyone else!
Billions of people on this earth would LOVE to fulfil their potential, but if they did the world would grind to a halt.
Not everyone can have the best job, get money and earn a living. Some just do the best they can for their family and if it means staying at home then let them!

The3Bears · 31/01/2011 20:30

Havent read all the thread but I think YABU, Its up to the mother if she wants to stay at home and raise her baby, none off your business. Biscuit

lovechoc · 31/01/2011 20:34

"Xenia is a man or wants to be one"

ROFL - love that one!

GMajor7 · 31/01/2011 20:39

Amazing 100% of the rude people are housewives. Does that prove my point that on average it's those who never had much of a job and aren't as bright and therefore are worse at childrearing who are the ones at home?

Er, Xenia your posts have been by far the most ignorant and rude on this whole thread!

Not sure where this vitriol comes from tbh.

TheCrackFox · 31/01/2011 20:44

Just ignore her, it is easier that way.

Let her win her sad, self imposed competition.

felicity10 · 31/01/2011 20:57

@ Xenia

You are hilarious, I'm just catching up on MN after a day languishing as a SAHM. Find it strange that you can be on MN mid morning on a Monday when surely you should be focused on your work?!!

Anyway, I just wanted to add that you are really embarrassing yourself with your comments. I somehow suspect that you wished you had had the choice to stay at home with your children, but perhaps you weren't confident in your own abilities to maintain a position on the the career ladder.

For many of us, that's not a concern.

But thanks, you've given me quite a giggle. Now if you'll excuse me, will just be popping off to arrange tomorrow's play date with some slacker of a flexi-working mother who doesn't work on Tuesdays!

lockets · 31/01/2011 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fifi25 · 31/01/2011 21:20

Xenia - im an unemployed housewife, educated to senior school level , just scraped through the GCSE's and managed to get a couple on NVQ's whilst working. Tell me what qualifications do i have to have to be a good mother, A Levels, a degree. Lets just hope your little darlings do well at school, get a high flying job and never fall on hard times so they can be the tolerant, understanding parent you obviously are.

NestaFiesta · 31/01/2011 21:59

Xenia- are you Liz Jones?

Alouiseg · 31/01/2011 22:16

I think she's Nicola Horlick.

felicity10 · 31/01/2011 22:17

Intrigued...Who is Liz Jones??!

felicity10 · 31/01/2011 22:19

Ahh - daily mail, hmm, you'd think wouldn't you!

fifi25 · 31/01/2011 22:27

I think shes Waynetta Slob but lives a fantasy life as Nicola Horlick

TheCrackFox · 31/01/2011 22:32

She really does exist as she managed to out herself in You Magazine a year or so ago. There are only so many millionaire lawyers, with 5 children, who have had a scarily expensive divorce so it wasn't that difficult to work out.

MerryMarigold · 31/01/2011 22:38

fifi, xenia says inflammatory things so she can be the centre of attention for a while...usually works too.