AIBU to be annoyed with mothers who can't be bothered to work?

[HellaH]

Went to a baby playgroup the other day and met yet another mother who has handed in her notice just because she has had a baby.

Thanks a lot! Now when I will go looking for a job employers will think that I too will hand in my notice if I fall pregnant again and will probably take on a man instead of me.

Can't wait for men to get more parental leave, maybe it will equal things out a bit!

And surely with the flexible working hours law and such a woman CAN go back to work without silly excuses.

Xenia either goes out of her way to be unpleasant on this subject or genuniely believes what she says. Either way, it makes me quite pleased I'm the person I am and that I've made the choices I've made. I'd hate to be such a woman hater.

Extremists come in all forms. Some believe that women who work are the devil, because they neglect their children. Some believe that every woman who gives up work has added to the manacles that hold women down.

Most of us realise that extreme views are rarely rational.

The feminist movement was started to support women and give them choices in life. To punish people when they take that choice is counter-productive.

Here, have a biscuit OP and anyone extreme enough to think they are always right can share it with you!!!

I make no apology to society for giving up my job when I had two kids, if they'd bloody well paid me the same as the knobs two desks away, then I could ahve afforded to pay for childcare for two. NO WAY AM I GOING TO WORK AT A LOSS

Two kids at school now and I'm working one day a week. good balance home life work life! I'll build on that in my own time.

can't be bothered to work

Yeah, that is exactly what I resigned. It had nothing to do with wanting to raise my children!

I haven't read all the other posts, but I would like to take issue with the OP's sentence: "And surely with the flexible working hours law and such a woman CAN go back to work without silly excuses."

Once and for all, lets clear this one up, based on MY experiences.

Once upon a time, I was an employee for a medium sized company. Before I had dd1 in 2004, I had a exemplary 8 year well-paid career (and one of a relatively few females) in the engineering industry.

All was hunky dory until at 8 weeks pregnant with dd1, I announced my pregnancy to a (female) line manager. To say she did not take it well was an understatement.

Anyway, when dd1 was 1 years old, I asked the company to consider flexible working. I can say with all honesty and truthfully, that at one point, I had 4 hours sleep within a 32 hour period. At another point, I worked solidly for a 2-week period including weekends, in other words, 8.50am - 7pm for 14 days on the trot. My marriage, baby and health were all suffering, sufficiently to cause my health visitor at the time "serious concern". This working pattern was no longer sustainable.

My request for flexible working was turned down, and there was NOTHING I could do about it. At that point, I felt I had no other option but to hand in my resignation.

That was 5 years ago, and after 4 years of being in non-paid employment, I am now self-employed and loving it. I dictate my own terms and conditions.

But please, please be aware of the law. You do not have the right to flexible working. You merely have the right to ask your employer to consider a flexible working arrangement. Your employer, can easily refuse it so long as he/she has a business reason to do so.

It's the words "silly excuses" that has somewhat wound me up!

Mmm when I went back to work, after childcare I was earning 75 a week. Given DH was turning down (well paid) work to chip in with pick ups etc and DS and I were both totally exhausted and miserable it just didn't pay for us to be in that situation.

There are some bonkers posters on here. Xenia? What about men who stay at home...?

And as if it's easy to just give up work in the first place! The hardest thing I found as a SAHM was that I was constantly worried about money.

My dh is a SAHD and is never questioned about his choices - in fact I have stood in shock as people congratulate him on occasion.

"Xenia, will you answer why it is OK for a man to be a SAHP but not a woman? Nobody ever answers that one..."

Hapyp to answer it. When womemn make up 50% or more of cabinet posts, FTSE 100 boards, the sernior ranks of the armed forces and every other body with power in the UK then I will be happy for women to be housewives rather than men. Until that happens women have a moral duty to try to ensure teh gains they have obtained for their daughters, the right to be surgeons rather than nurses or housewives adn the like, are consolidated and retained.

Don't kid yourselves. Every woman going flexi time or part time or not working damages other women at work. In a sense for some of us it doesn' amtter because it just makes those of us left look even better than the alsorans who scurried off to their kitchens because they couldn't hack it in the work place, but there it is very very ahrd still for many women in many work environments and every flexi timer or woman leaving for good makes it harder and harder.

I dont agree. Part time gives me the best of oth worlds. Its about choice. I have that. I am more empowered than many men who dont.

so all the duty is ours??

what about the duty of employers to pay us the same as the knob two desks away so we can afford childcare for two kids?

or the moral duty of husbands to do their share around the house?

or the moral duty of politicians to implement measures which will take away employers' incentive to discriminate against women!?

Sorry, I only have one life and I haven't the energy to spend it doing my moral duty as prescribed by Xenia!!!!

xenia, what a complete and utter load of bollocks.

i for one can't wait to go back full time and really fed up of working pt it's shite

I personally feel I have surpassed all that. I have more than many men would ever achieve - I have choice, I can support myself part time and have some time for me and for my son.

I must admit southeast it isnt easy..part timers always get a rough deal

I smell a troll

ps, sorry to refer to another thread, but xenia on another thread you were commending people who were happy, and saying that the ability to be happy was precious.

People should hang on to that if they have it, not live their life according to somebody else's worldview...

Xenia? she's definitely not a troll. But I wonder if she might be an Aspie!

I quit work after my dd1 was born as it worked out that after child care costs i would be working full time for about £15 a week it was defo the BEST thing i've ever done i now have 2 dd and have loved being at home with them. Before i know thats happened they be grown up and independent. so having this time with them is very special (apart from when there gettin on my wick lol)

Governments should be subsidising childcare and nurseries. Women are expected to shoulder the entire burden of continuing the species. Taht's what makes me angry. NOT women making choices that suit their pockets/lives/responsibilities.

Should I be burning my bra? If I have to then I must warn you its not pretty.:)

My sister married an accountant who is now rather a wealthy man. She stopped work (as a travel agent) when they decided to have their first child, who is now about to turn 16.

Im older than her and have worked 20 years.
She has a great life...rich, social.
Im schlepping along to work every day, pressure, letting my child down most days, no time to even get my hair done, puting weight on. probably will work until Im in my late 60's

Im wondering who's the mug.

I hate working.

Who's going to thank me for working all my life when i die?

your kids if you can pass them an inheritance

I wont on my salary lol