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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random old ladies touching my baby's hands!

319 replies

MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:17

AGHHHHHH

So this happened again...

In Tesco's the other day and my baby is in the trolley and I am shopping away when an old lady (I only put old as it has always been old ladies who have done this!) comes up to us and takes my baby's hand in hers...

I really really hate this! Why do people I do not know insist on touching my baby's hands? She puts them in her mouth still, I don't want random strangers who I don't know touching her hands.

Get orrrrfffff! I don't want people touching my baby's hands! One time, this other old lady who was coughing and sniffing came up and went to touch my baby's hand and was offended when I moved my baby away!

Do any of you ladies get annoyed by this or does it not bother you?!

OP posts:
PigValentine · 21/01/2011 22:50

I didn't mind people touching my tummy. In fact, I used to force people to do it. Possibly, now that I think about it, in a slightly inappropriate fashion. But I am quite physical - not in a hugs-for-everyone type way - I just don't feel uncomfortable when people touch me. The one thing I do think is reasonable is that people ask permission before giving a small newborn to another child to hold, especially a toddler - I don't think there's anything wrong with it per se, just that in that instance it is polite to ask. Especially when it is the first baby Grin

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 22:51

Oh fried do you actually read my posts? I'll say again

It's not your opinion that is the problem

It is your totally rude manner when you offer your opinion

That you think it is acceptable to be so rude when given your opinion isn't a good thing

OP posts:
Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 22:53

Pigvalentine

I am picturing you forcing people to touch your prejudge belly! Grin

OP posts:
McHobbes · 21/01/2011 22:54

I didn't especially mind other people touching any of my bumps either. I don't have a problem with physical contact from the well intentioned at all.

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 22:54

Oh by the way, I meant random strangers coming up and just touching preg belly without asking!

OP posts:
PigValentine · 21/01/2011 22:56

At the time I was thinking they were just holding back to be polite - later I realised they just didn't feel the need to grope my tummy! And when I say forced, I mean, physically made them do it Grin

PigValentine · 21/01/2011 22:57

Yup, random strangers...banks, post offices, public transports. Clearly I have a different set of issues!

friedtoacrisp · 21/01/2011 22:58

Well I think you are wrong and anal and quite frighteningly anti social. I didn't realise all opinions and comments had to be vetted first to ensure that they fall within your strictly defined parameters. Shall I go wash my hands or something?

winnybella · 21/01/2011 22:59

Hmm. I think I agree with the OP to a certain extent. I love it when people are nice to DD and I don't mind them patting her head etc, but tbh I wasn't crazy about random people touching her hands. Of course, she needed to built up her immune system, but I felt she was doing that anyway, with school age DS and us and with me not being a slattern not anal about washing floors etc.

She'll have time to catch all the bugs going when she'll go to the kindergarten. I don't see why I would really want a 3 mo to catch a cold or flu off the stranger in the supermarket Confused

Now she's almost 2 I'm not really bothered.

PatPending · 21/01/2011 22:59

MsKlo - well, you posted in AIBU!!
Need we say more?

You got opinions ... which is what you sought.

I disagree vehemently with you ... I loved people cooing over (and touching) my babies.

I actually also get a real kick out of people cooing over and touching my grandchild ..... I do not live in fear of him contracting a deadly disease.
Because I'm well-informed and, frankly, not stupid.
And his mum (our DD) is not paranoid about germs/old ladies, because she is a level-headed young lady (also pregnant with second child) who is not stupid.

usualsuspect · 21/01/2011 23:00

MsKLo ...you are very good at the winding up Mn malarkey

PatPending · 21/01/2011 23:01

Damn my slow typing .... things move on so quick!!

missmehalia · 21/01/2011 23:02

Didn't like the random belly touching either. And I'm usually quite a tactile person with people I know and like. But I prefer to respect other people's physical space (no matter their age) and I'd prefer they do the same for me and my children.

I think the reason I particularly don't like the touching the kids thing is that children can't fend it off if they're uncomfortable.

GreenEyesandHam · 21/01/2011 23:02

Lol PigValentine, I was the same....

ME: 'Oh the baby's kicking'

RANDOM: 'Is it, how nice?'

ME; 'Yes...feel that. Really, give me your hand, 'ere feel....'

RANDOM: 'Aww bless, no it's ok...'

ME: 'GIVE. ME. YOUR. HAND'

ME: 'NOW'

McHobbes · 21/01/2011 23:04

sings

McHobbes · 21/01/2011 23:06

Damn - how do you do links on here?

Try again...

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 23:06

Patpending

Really I have no prob with the diff in opinions! Your difference of opinion is interesting to me!

I just find some people are very rude when they pit their diff of opinion across!

fried well thank goodness it does not matter to me when random people like you make personal remarks without any basis ( yeah because you know me, thats how you know I am anti-social right?! That is actually quite funny that you think you are making reasonable remarks and that you think you are making valid contributions with stuff like that and saying my child is a freak because I don't like people touching her hands!!')

Your angry posts sound even sillier now

OP posts:
PigValentine · 21/01/2011 23:07

GreenEyesandHam that sounds very familiar! Grin

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 23:09

Hello usualsuspect!

Is it winding people up to call them up for being unecessarily rude? Cmon you are a ballsy lady! Opinions can be offered without being rude can't they?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/01/2011 23:19

well msKlo ..you seem to have a knack of knowing the threads to start that will get you the rude answers ....

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/01/2011 23:22

Maybe you should get a big badge MsKLo like the signs you can get for front doors to put off cold callers and Jehovas Witnesses something like "If you can't afford it, dont touch it?" (smiles helpfully).

lololizzy · 21/01/2011 23:25

i work in retail . I witness all the time in my shop...and think it's sweet.

SparkyDuchess · 21/01/2011 23:32

Completely agree with mchobbes, I used to get loads of people fussing over DS and I always thought it was lovely for him and for them - handed him over for a cuddle on many occasions. We live in a village, and I used to love watching some of the elderly folks we saw daily light up when they spotted me with the pram. Don't remember ever worrying about germs, I imagine if I was ever unsure I gave him a swipe with a baby wipe afterwards.

AngelsOnHigh · 21/01/2011 23:40

You mentioned that these ladies are mostly old.

Has it ever occurred to you that some elderly people have no one to speak to day after day and sometimes the only human contact they have is a gentle pat on a small childs' hand.

They would probably be so hurt if they knew what you were thinking.

Just suck it up and if it worries you that much keep a packet of wipes handy.

From the tone of your post, I guess you will now be thinking "not my problem they are old and lonely"

PatPending · 21/01/2011 23:42

Sparky - you sound so lovely and those oldsters must have loved the wee interaction.

Good for you.