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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random old ladies touching my baby's hands!

319 replies

MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:17

AGHHHHHH

So this happened again...

In Tesco's the other day and my baby is in the trolley and I am shopping away when an old lady (I only put old as it has always been old ladies who have done this!) comes up to us and takes my baby's hand in hers...

I really really hate this! Why do people I do not know insist on touching my baby's hands? She puts them in her mouth still, I don't want random strangers who I don't know touching her hands.

Get orrrrfffff! I don't want people touching my baby's hands! One time, this other old lady who was coughing and sniffing came up and went to touch my baby's hand and was offended when I moved my baby away!

Do any of you ladies get annoyed by this or does it not bother you?!

OP posts:
Bearcat · 22/01/2011 14:09

Agree with the fact that your DD is already in a filthy shopping trolley, holding onto the handle with all the germs that must have on it.
When my DS2 (now 19)was a baby (and he was absolutely gorgeous with lovely blond curly hair) his lifes work whilst sitting in a supermarket trolley was ALWAYS to catch an old ladies (and it always was OLD ladies) eye to charm her and then be made a real fuss of. I used to think it was really lovely and was proud that he was such a charmer.
He's still lovely by the way,very personable to all who know him!

Original poster
MsKLo · 22/01/2011 14:12

I think we'll have to agree to disagree south - I am totally not changing my opinion on this and I an no meanie!

But for you I will try to smile a bit more for the old ladies Wink

OP posts:
Ormirian · 22/01/2011 14:13

Argggghh!!!! Burn the witches! Burn, burn, burn!

IMO you can't be too careful with old ladies. Get away with too much I reckon.

Original poster
MsKLo · 22/01/2011 14:14

Bearcat

I wipe the trolley handle with an anticbac wipe as they are disssssgusting! Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
MsKLo · 22/01/2011 14:14

Lol ormirian Grin

OP posts:
blueshoes · 22/01/2011 14:46

Just as I thought, a germaphobic. That's not normal, I hope you know.

Watch out for the door knobs too. It cannot be easy.

lady007pink · 22/01/2011 15:09

Better than if they put their finger in the baby's mouth!

Bucharest · 22/01/2011 15:11

This still going on?

Hope the wee old thing had a strong immune system after touching your baby's slobbery hands. Who knows where they'd been???

....and carrying the antibacs for the shopping trolley is a one way street that leads to nowhere very relaxing for anyone.

tholeon · 22/01/2011 15:14

I find the constant gelling helps me to feel I'm doing everything I can to stop DS having to go into intensive care again. I am doing well letting him out of the house, tbh.

southmum · 22/01/2011 15:16

dont bother doing it for me. Do it for yourself, it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

Not arsed if you dont change your opinion either. Still think you are a misery meanie

bubblewrapped · 22/01/2011 15:24

tholeon Sat 22-Jan-11 15:14:32
I find the constant gelling helps me to feel I'm doing everything I can to stop DS having to go into intensive care again. I am doing well letting him out of the house, tbh

I can appreciate why you think that, but are you not preventing him from building up his natural immune system, and thereby increasing his risk of picking up a germ and not being able to fight it as easily.

If he has recovered from his illness, would the doctors advice be to let him now get his resistance to germs built up again by strengthening his immune system.

Tokyotwist · 22/01/2011 15:37

Fango...

I'm sorry if I have somehow offended you by saying I was horrified when a homeless lady kissed my baby niece on the lips.

I would have been horrified with any stranger just walking up and kissing her on the lips and yes the fact she was homeless and looked dirty made it worse. However I was not rude to her, we smiled and chatted until she left and only then did my sister get the wipes out.

Obviously I am not as understanding and carefree as you must be. Hey ho, I guess I'll just have to live with that.

bumpsoon · 22/01/2011 15:48

I think its rather sad that you are upset by other people showing an interest in your baby . I was really shocked the other day ,when a lady volunteer in a charity shopped asked permission to speak to my toddler Shock ,apparently she had tried to chat to a baby/toddler the day before and the mother had gone ballistic saying she was trying to teach her children not to talk to 'strangers' Confused
Oh and i presume your baby isnt touching anything related to the shopping trolley at all ? those things are covered in 'germs'

bumpsoon · 22/01/2011 15:51

As is just about everything on the planet ,including you Wink

TheVisitor · 22/01/2011 15:54

The only time I objected to people touching my babies was during bronchiolitis/RSV season, as they were premature. They still got it though, at 8 months old.

FranSanDisco · 22/01/2011 15:57

Bumpsoon, that reminds me if ds using the rail on the trolley for a good suck when he was teething - all around his mouth/cheeks was black when he'd finished slobbering and chewing. He's alive still Grin.

Idlewild · 22/01/2011 16:12

YANBU OP. It's one thing cooing over a baby and quite another touching it. I don't have a problem with people we know locally holding my babies' hands / kissing them etc but it has sometimes pissed me off when random strangers have done it. E.g. there was one lady who had a nasty skin infection (she had been telling me all about it, it was contagious apparently, she'd seen a doctor) and the last time was in M and S when my youngest was a week old. 2 of the women who worked on the flower counter (so handled money/ cut flowers etc all day) came and held her hands. I felt a bit precious for bothering about it so didn't wipe her afterwards and 2 days later she ended up in hospital with a nasty bacterial infection in the hand they had been holding. She had 48 hours of IV antibiotics then a further week of oral antibiotics and developed v upset tummy and nappy rashes for ages afterwards. Apparently these infected finger incidents are reasonably common in newborns and can be life threatening.

I wouldn't be at all bothered about people touching older babies but I think it's really rude to touch a newborn without asking first.

Original poster
MsKLo · 22/01/2011 16:14

Goodness me southmum I was trying to engage you in a JOKE now who's being the meanie weanie?!

And once again - just because i don't like people touching my baby's hands it doesn't me I don't engage with people when I am out - blimey - unclench ladies, unclenchhhhh!

Wink
OP posts:
Original poster
MsKLo · 22/01/2011 16:19

I totally agree idlewild and to be honest find it somewhat amusing that just because I don't like total strangers touching my baby's hands, a lot of people on here jump to the conclusion that I don't engage with people at all! These people are strangers! I wouldn't want a random stranger coming up to me and taking my hand in theirs so why should they do it to my baby?!

Whilst I appreciate people have different views on this and it is really intersting to hear other views and I totally respect that people have other views, I am sticking with my thought that taking random strangers takin hold of my baby's hand is rude and I don't like it one bit!

OP posts:
southmum · 22/01/2011 17:03

you need to unclench you eenie meanie weanie.....cant think of any more eenies but you get the drift.....

My DS is being a buttmunch today so Im in no joking mood

Original poster
MsKLo · 22/01/2011 17:19

Ok we'll unclench together...
I have a three year old ds as well as my little girl so know what you mean - patience wears thin! Smile

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 22/01/2011 17:25

Can someone tell me the ingredients of anti-bac gel and baby wipes? If babies put their hands in their mouths after being de-germed it must taste disgusting and I just wondered what the actual contents were that were being ingested. (Whether they were better than old lady germs, is my point)

Lamorna · 22/01/2011 17:26

'We all nod sagely at the old adage "it takes a village to raise a child" but we want it all on our terms- i.e. the village has read the PFB manual and signed an agreement of terms and conditions. If we want society to engage with our children we have to accept that it's not a one way street. '

I think that this is the problem, everyone says how lovely people are to babies and DCs in other countries but they forget that this comes with a price, they are lovely because they interact freely and wouldn't understand the view that touching a baby is horrifying to the mother because of germs and my baby.

I don't have a problem with this unless the mother starts moaning about the British not being child friendly, of course they aren't when normal friendly contact is rejected.

What the parent needs to unserstand is that she can control whatever she like in her own home but once she goes out of the front door she can't have control (and a good thing too).

allbie · 22/01/2011 17:38

A high percentage of older folk have coughs that don't easily shift. These coughs are caused by pertussis which causes whooping cough, it is carried in the back of the throat and is 99% contagious. This happened to my 3 week old...some old dear with a harsh cough she'd had for a long time came visiting and touching. He ended up hospitalized and was ill for around 100 days which led on to reflux which brought a new set of problems. Keep 'em away from newborns!

Lamorna · 22/01/2011 17:49

Keep you baby in doors until it is an adult!! They actually need to build up an immune system. I am sure that most reasonable old ladies keep their distance if they are not well. Perhaps she should have said, 'I am clear infection and have washed my hands,' but I bet she would still have wanted her nowhere near.

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