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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random old ladies touching my baby's hands!

319 replies

MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:17

AGHHHHHH

So this happened again...

In Tesco's the other day and my baby is in the trolley and I am shopping away when an old lady (I only put old as it has always been old ladies who have done this!) comes up to us and takes my baby's hand in hers...

I really really hate this! Why do people I do not know insist on touching my baby's hands? She puts them in her mouth still, I don't want random strangers who I don't know touching her hands.

Get orrrrfffff! I don't want people touching my baby's hands! One time, this other old lady who was coughing and sniffing came up and went to touch my baby's hand and was offended when I moved my baby away!

Do any of you ladies get annoyed by this or does it not bother you?!

OP posts:
McHobbes · 21/01/2011 20:41

YAB totally U!

You actually moved your baby away?? How very rude!

Old people love babies. As the mother of two very close in age I am beset by pensioners everywhere I go. You do tire of entertaining them when you're in a hurry, or even just in a bad mood....but the intentions are always good, and I would never be so rude as to rebuff them.

Get a grip lady!

PuraVida · 21/01/2011 20:42

I'd rather old lady hand than the 20,00000 hands of all sorts of rveryone that have touched the handle of the trolley

I think it's sweet, and would glow with pride if someone complimented ds, thrilled that I wasn't the only one who could see his immense beauty Grin

BlessedAssurance · 21/01/2011 20:42

bubblei say prostitutes because thats what they are,they speak about their job and discuss all the details in front of me to my hairdresser friend,,have i offended you?

Mayqueene · 21/01/2011 20:42

YABcompletely and utterly u

My four (aged 5-18) have all been kissed, touched, patted etc by old people,young people etc including by 2 cider drinking old people who hang out on a bench by our local GP surgery -They came and kissed precious number 1 and gave me a couple of quid for when he went to university. Grin Grin

All my lot are healthy and have suffered no ill effects, unless you count being friendly and non judgemental as an ill effect.

I'm so worried for you OP when your precious starts to mix at toddler group, school etc, you're going to do yourself an injury unless you learn to chiiiiil Grin

CURLYMAMMA · 21/01/2011 20:42

Aw, I think thats a nice thing for old ladies to do.

belleofbelfastcity · 21/01/2011 20:43

Where we live it's mostly old ladies in the shops/bank etc and they always are touching my DS - doesn't bother me at all, he's one of those "I will stare at you until you make eye contact with me" children and brings it on himself! I always have wipes around if I think someone is particularly dirty/germy, but tbh, as DS is just starting to crawl and ends up licking the floor, I reckon old lady germs are the least of my worries.

Sometimes I'm not in the frame of mind to chat back to them, so I just let them witter on at him whilst looking moody - I am a Bad Person who makes old ladies feel uncomfortable (but there are just so many of them that a trip to the greengrocer, post office, bakery and bank can take twice as long as it should).

chillichill · 21/01/2011 20:43

YANBU
What about personal space? aren't babies entitled to that too? we don't mind when our loved ones touch us but would be upset if strangers did so why can't we be upset for our babies?
old lady did this to.me.today. dd was in the pram with the hood down and crying and I was trying to rock her to sleep. old lady says 'oh what a shame, let me see it' and then tries to pull the hood up! I told her was trying to get her to sleep and please don't bother her as i quickly pulled away.

pointydug · 21/01/2011 20:44

get over yourself

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:44

ah well!

I am mostly on my own on this one!

toughasoldboots - the lady in question who i moved away from had a cold and had just finished wiping her nose!

I still don't like it, I think it is rude to go up to a woman with a baby and touch the baby's hands and unhygenic! But appreciate that not everyone holds the same opinion, that's fine!

by the way, I am all for talking, smiling with strangers, and I do that! a lot! Grin I just think it is rude to touch my baby's hand. If some stranger came to me and did it I would think it odd too!

I do find it funny that some people are so rude in their reponses here - oh get over yourself etc! I have turned over a new leaf and think polite repsonses to differences of opinion are the way to go... Grin

OP posts:
Feelingsensitive · 21/01/2011 20:45

Why would these ladies be any more germ infested than you or anyone you approve of touching your baby's hands? If your friend touched her/his hand what would you do? Get the hand gel out immediatley afterwards or rugby tackle them off her/him. These ladies come from a generation where we weren't such a bunch of uptight, self centred, belly button watching paranoid loons who felt it necessary to go to the trouble of getting a bunch of strangers to agree 'yes how very annoying that some old woman was paying attention to your baby. Yeah, I really hate it when that happens to. I mean how dare they touch my precious infant.' blah blah blah.

Utter madness.

YABU.

If it bothers you that much put some gloves on the child.

hocuspontas · 21/01/2011 20:45

Lol cleverclogs! And don't even think about saying 'It gets worse when they're teenagers' to a mum struggling with a couple of toddlers, she'll rip your face off (see other thread) Grin

bubblewrapped · 21/01/2011 20:47

bubblei say prostitutes because thats what they are,they speak about their job and discuss all the details in front of me to my hairdresser friend,,have i offended you?

I am just wondering why exactly a prostitute would be more likely to infect your baby with anything than anyone else?

friedtoacrisp · 21/01/2011 20:47

Unbelievable. What has happened to humanity fgs? OP needs to think forward a bit to when she's old and possibly got nobody - seeing a lovely baby and reaching out to it only to have some ultra-precious freaked out mummy react in horror. I loved it when people admired my baby!

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:48

mayqueene

my kids do go to toddler groups etc, I just think it is a really rude thing to do and feel like chilli does on this one!

really find the responses like 'get over yourself' quite funny, what is there to get over? that i do not like it when someone i dont know invades my child's personal space?! i think it is completely fine to think differently to how i feel but why do some posters insist on being rude about it?!

OP posts:
whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 21/01/2011 20:49

unhygenic...god no wonder were a nation of allergy sufferers... I bet you have antibacterial soap, those air fresheners, use 100s of cleaning products made out of god knows what yet worry about someone touching your child.

Topspin · 21/01/2011 20:49

Babies are born into a community. Why would it upset you to have that community interact with your child?

One day you'll be an old lady and may find it upsetting if parents with babies veer out of your way in horror at the idea that you might pat them on the hand.

Seems a shame to me.

BlessedAssurance · 21/01/2011 20:50

i think if someone is unhappy with people touching their baby then they shouldn't allow people to,i will not let someone who is coughing and sneezing touch my baby just to be nice,no way,you can say all you want but try seating next to someone on a bus and you start coughing and sneezing,i have seen people change seats,so why is it ok for me to just let them near my little baby?

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:50

tbh feelingsensitive i don't like it when anyone touches their hands! i have to be honest! not when they are really small i mean - i dont mind a stroke of the cheek etc but not the hands!

it is interesting the way people on here make assumptions that i am precious about my infant because i do not like people touching their hands!

OP posts:
McHobbes · 21/01/2011 20:50

Because you're being a bit of a fanny about it?

Topspin · 21/01/2011 20:50

Oops - xposted with friedtoacrisp!

friedtoacrisp · 21/01/2011 20:51
  • 'baby's personal space' - WTF? I can only imagine what kind of freaky withdrawn insular child your poor baby will grow into. Actually people like you make me really angry - who the fuck do you think you are exactly?
Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:52

wow, so many assumptions about me just because i do not want people to touch my baby's hands?! just because i feel like this does not mean i don't want people to talk to me and baby and i am always chatting to random strangers and no, i dont have zillions of antibac!

OP posts:
ISNT · 21/01/2011 20:53

You have been unlucky here OP, I have been on threads which started with the same question and the vast majority of people agreed that it was out of line!

That's MN for you...

Original poster
MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:54

goodness me friedtoacrisp i am just displaying my personal opinion, why are you so het up?! and really, your opinion that my child will be freaky and insular is just very very silly!

OP posts:
HeathcliffMoorland · 21/01/2011 20:54

OP, I half agree/disagree.

The lady with the cold: I understand completely.

In general, I probably wouldn't fuss - I know the others may have been wiping their noses too, but illogical as it is, I'm less bothered by what I don't see!

I do get where you're coming from.

I also agree that people here really don't need to be so impolite and insensitive in their disagreement.