Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random old ladies touching my baby's hands!

319 replies

MsKLo · 21/01/2011 20:17

AGHHHHHH

So this happened again...

In Tesco's the other day and my baby is in the trolley and I am shopping away when an old lady (I only put old as it has always been old ladies who have done this!) comes up to us and takes my baby's hand in hers...

I really really hate this! Why do people I do not know insist on touching my baby's hands? She puts them in her mouth still, I don't want random strangers who I don't know touching her hands.

Get orrrrfffff! I don't want people touching my baby's hands! One time, this other old lady who was coughing and sniffing came up and went to touch my baby's hand and was offended when I moved my baby away!

Do any of you ladies get annoyed by this or does it not bother you?!

OP posts:
PigValentine · 21/01/2011 21:24

So you don't like people invading your baby's "personal space" Hmm but you don't mind them touching DC's face - just their hands...

bubblewrapped · 21/01/2011 21:25

sorry blessed but no.. i dont believe it...

for a start, nobody would wander off with the powder still on their fingers.. they would lick it off..

and secondly, if you are in a hairdressers that is the front for a drug den, full of prostitutes, I would be more worried about getting involved in a drugs bust than a hooker touching your child.. what the fuck sort of environment is that to be in with a child anyway..

thats if any of it is true... which I doubt..

PatriciaHolm · 21/01/2011 21:25

Any minute now your baby will be sticking their hands down their nappy and licking their fingers afterwards.

Kinda makes the dettol wipes a bit redundant Grin

Anyway - random old ladies touching my children never really bothered me tbh. Although I don't fuss about a bit of dirt anyway, never did. The chances of your DC catching anything are minute, really.

BCBG · 21/01/2011 21:26

Am honestly shocked by the subtext here, of intolerance and barely concealed disgust of the elderly (not the OP particularly) and I wonder how you will all feel when you are old? Some of you will be widowed or alone, some of you will be lonely, some of you will have pfbs who no longer ring you more than once a fortnight: you will smile at babies and chat to young mums because it will remind you of your younger days, because it will help you to deal with your own loneliness, and because you will remember those days when you struggled with a toddler, a baby and a buggy and a friendly smile helped. You will maybe take a toddlers hand, because it will be physical contact without strings, and don't think for a second that I don't know what I mean when I say that some elderly people go for days or weeks without the comforting touch of a human hand.

Your baby will be fine, and aware of being greeted by smiles and love. Maybe that will sustain him or her when he too, is old.

PigValentine · 21/01/2011 21:27

Very well said BCBG

friedtoacrisp · 21/01/2011 21:28

BCBG bloody well said!

Toughasoldboots · 21/01/2011 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McHobbes · 21/01/2011 21:31

I agree with you BCGB! Every word.

Tolalola · 21/01/2011 21:31

Round of applause for BCBG

tigerdriverII · 21/01/2011 21:34

BCBG - couldn't agree more. Was just about to post in the same terms. Ageism is a very unattractive characteristic - somehow it's seen as OK but it's deeply unpleasant and rather sad.

Mapley · 21/01/2011 21:35

people quite often roll spliffs, dab mdma or snort coke and wipe their noses and then don't wash their hands.

tis true. and the vast majority of them won't be prostitutes, and are probably in their nice shoes with their nice hair on your bus on their way to work in their ordinary jobs.

not worth losing sleep over, but just saying

teenyanne · 21/01/2011 21:35

YAB a bit U - I suppose if you don't want people to touch your baby, you have a right to. TBH, in the supermarket, I was more concerned about what germs my dd was ingesting from sucking the trolley (boak!) rather than anyone touching her.

It's nice that people are chatting to her and interacting, better than than someone complaining about her making noise!

teenyanne · 21/01/2011 21:35

YAB a bit U - I suppose if you don't want people to touch your baby, you have a right to. TBH, in the supermarket, I was more concerned about what germs my dd was ingesting from sucking the trolley (boak!) rather than anyone touching her.

It's nice that people are chatting to her and interacting, better than than someone complaining about her making noise!

HeathcliffMoorland · 21/01/2011 21:38

I'm pretty sure any disgust wasn't directed at the elderly per se.

Amaka · 21/01/2011 21:39

I think its rude for any random person to come up and touch someone without consent, it does not matter whether its a baby, child or an adult. I know generally when some people see babies they feel joyful. I had a similar experience, when an elder person just bend down and gave me baby a kiss on the cheek, I wanted to shout out loud. . .WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING. What stopped me was because I did not want to spoil her day. Strangers should ask before touching one's baby.

BlessedAssurance · 21/01/2011 21:39

thnx Mapleyand bubble i live in the center of town,my friend owns the salon,should she chase those drug addicts doing drugs at the corner of her shop? should i not visit my friend because there are drugs all around,they are not dealing in her shop,outside,but when they see the cops they run into her shop,btw i live in Oslo and drugs are done openly fight at the central station,so leave me to it,don't care whether you believe me or not.

StealthPolarStuckSpaceBar · 21/01/2011 21:40

OK I will admit that DS had a pound coin stuffed in his hand when he was tiny, and I did wash his hand. But that was the money (which I feel is dirty) rather than the old lady's hand. Have no problem with that

usualsuspect · 21/01/2011 21:42

YABU and a miserable sod

baskingseals · 21/01/2011 21:43

yabu

when ds1 was tiny - weeks old - this lovely old guy, sort of blessed him in the butter aisle in tescos. He said such kind things.

wish there was more warm-hearted people about tbh - old or not

GreenEyesandHam · 21/01/2011 21:46

My great-aunt has a strict rule- the pretty ones get a cheek stroke,the ugly ones are 'hands only' and she always wet-wipes afterwards.

^^that's a lie btw. She doesn't even exist

McHobbes · 21/01/2011 21:47

"I think its rude for any random person to come up and touch someone without consent, it does not matter whether its a baby, child or an adult."

What a sterile, unfriendly, everyone-stick-to-their-own-backyard nation we are becoming!

No wonder the idea of community is becoming relagated to the past.

What the fuck is wrong with touching someone?? What a bunch of uptight weirdos we all are to think it is RUDE to touch the hand of a delicious child!

I despair...I really do.

musicposy · 21/01/2011 21:48

Wait until your PFB is 15, some spotty youth is holding her hand and would quite possibly rather like to have sex with her. Then you will fondly remember the days when old ladies held her hand!

I do sympathise, btw, but the years to come will put this truly into perspective Grin

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/01/2011 21:50

I believe you Blessed and you are quite, quite right. About everything. Always. Now come back to us on the stoner nobodys thread with thems that love ya.

BlessedAssurance · 21/01/2011 21:53

:o at katie .See i do have a grin on my face,enough of this sorry thread,im off to greener pastures,,coming katie*

sungirltan · 21/01/2011 21:54

yabu. its what older people do. they like to fuss babies.

once, when dd was much littler a slightly incoherant bloke started shouting at me accross the road. i turned away but he carried on and eventually lumbered up to me.............holding dd little fluffy boot that she'd kicked off. i was ignroing him because i thought he was drunk. i felt terribly ashamed and guilty.

another time an older lady made a fuss of dd in the lift in debenhams. as we reached her floor she smiled sadly at me and said 'you always want what you never had...' i still want to cry remembering this. old people can fuss dd all they want :-)