to be upset that at a party my 10 year old and friends were lefy unaccompanied in a cinema??

[bebopper]

First post so forgive any mistakes!
My 10year old was invited at the last minute to an 11year olds party on Sunday - cinema and pizza hut. On smiling terms with her mum and dd friends with child - so accepted happily.
What I hadn't realised is that the girls (four of them) were taken to the cinema and left unaccompanied for a two and a half hour film whilst the mum went shopping! I was a bit gobsmacked to be honest- ok this was a Sunday afternoon but even so, I think it was a bit much!
What do other mums think- am I right to be a bit cross and should I talk to her about it?

I'll probabaly get slagged off for this but DS2 likes going to the pictures by himself sometimes.

Sometimes we go as a family
Sometimes Me and him or him and his dad
sometimes him and mates
Sometimes he wants to be alone with a big box of popcorn and be by himself.

I know excstly what time the film is finishing and get there 10 mins early.

I was about 13 when I started going to the pictures and swimming by myself so I was a few years older than him. I've always been a bit of a loner and he is taking after me!

I was much younger than 13(but then I'm old, pre days of bulk buying cotton wool for kids

my brother & I were dropped off at the cinema every Saturday for the kids mattinee, whilst my Mum did the weekly shop, the cinema was full of kids like us, all on their own or with siblings, I was probably 7 or 8 & my Brother would of been 4/5, parents where always outside to collect at the end

its a myth that there were no paedophiles back then there were plenty, both myself & brother were approached several times, (never at the cinema though) difference was we grew up with the "stranger danger pep talk", IMHO I think its far more of a worry the OPs DD has got to 10 without that apparently being part of daily life, so that the OP feels aggrieved she didn't have warning so as instruct her DD about going to public toilets etc, apart from presuming the birthdays girl DIDN"T remind them, that IMO should be something the OPs DD should know by now anyway.....my own DD does...& she's 8!!

"birthday Girls MUM didn't remind them"

I would have liked to have known the arrangements so I could have warned DD not to go to the toilets every ten minutes to apply layer upon layer of lip gloss but that would be my only toilet related concern.

lol notso that would be my concern too ....that & plastering on the tarty red lipstick she is only allowed for indoor dress up play & has a habit of trying to sneak out with

Ah! I don't have the lippy problem with boys!!

I went once and the fire alarm went off, we had to evacuate, we were all milling round in the car park. The manager came out and starting screaming "GET BACK GET BACK" - was rather worrying (having had the school burn down already whilst they were stuck in the playground shrieking and watching)
Naturally it was a false alarm and the manager was a bit of a dick, however, there were lots of really rrather small looking kids left outside and worried. We were allowed back in, but then our film failed (the film spool melted on the screen - you know we saw it shrivel etc) and they turfed my screen room out.
SO there were lots of unaccompanied kids just waiting (and worrying) for their parents.
Kinda put me off as our cinema is isolated in a retail park with hotels, gym and restaurants. DD just doesnt want to go alone yet.

I think mum should have checked with you first, just to make you aware, after being warned and given time to think about it and prepare your DD im sure youd have felt better about it. I'd let my DD out (although shes only 16 wks just now) with friends, but Id definately have to prepare her for it so i know shed be responsible and she realised that there was an element of trust and an expectation for her to behave and be careful.

At our local cinema- in a city- a mother took her 10 yr old and a friend of his to the movies. Her son wanted to go to the loo in the middle of the movie. She let him go with his friend and they were sexually assaulted in the toilet. I guess that's why people are uncomfortable about kids going to the toilets at the cinema. Before a movie there are lots of people around but during a movie often there are few people around.

Proof please, JackyJax. I never believe stories like this unless I have proof.

Both my children were doing this at this age. Ihad a friend who was like you over protective this was the child when she was allowed some freedom went wild. She was the one staying out and lieing that she was at a friends house. This sort of thing teaches children to be independant.

YANBU. She should have told you first that that was what she was planning to do. Then at least you would have had the option to say yes or no. My son is only 7 so I'm not sure how I'll feel when he's 10/11 but I would have been very annoyed if the parent hadn't even told me the full details of what was going to be happening at the party so i could decide whether to let my child attend.

Yes you are right frazzle she should have told her., to give her the option

I leave my DD and friends inside cinema at 8/9. I wait outside, either in the car in in a cafe, and meet them after the film. Nothing can happen to them, as long as they behave. In my experience, 11 year olds are catching the bus to school, so are expected to be independent. I think YABU to expect the mother to hover in this instance.