to be upset that at a party my 10 year old and friends were lefy unaccompanied in a cinema??

[bebopper]

First post so forgive any mistakes!
My 10year old was invited at the last minute to an 11year olds party on Sunday - cinema and pizza hut. On smiling terms with her mum and dd friends with child - so accepted happily.
What I hadn't realised is that the girls (four of them) were taken to the cinema and left unaccompanied for a two and a half hour film whilst the mum went shopping! I was a bit gobsmacked to be honest- ok this was a Sunday afternoon but even so, I think it was a bit much!
What do other mums think- am I right to be a bit cross and should I talk to her about it?

Sorry I havent read it all, but I dont get the loo thing?? do you accompany your 10yr old to the loo?? Does something happen in the toilet at the cinema I need to know about??

When I take my 9yr old and 3 yr old to the cinema, the 9yr old goes to the loo by herself, is that a terrible thing

YANBU. I would never invite a ten year old to an event of any sort and not supervise. The responsibility of someone else's child is huge. There are plenty of things that could have happened and the parent should have told the op that was her plan. You do not know what other children are like, your own may be incredibly mature and sensible, others not. My dss went out to get sweets once and found herself barred from re-entering due to not having ticket etc. Total drama.

My 11 year old twins (in yr 6 at primary) often get dropped at cinema. In fact I have just started letting them get the bus on their own into next town to the cinema on a saturday.

So Im my opinion yabu sorry

YANU I wasn't happy with this either. sorry you're getting grief.

When we were kids my uncles work place would hire out the cinema at christmas and he used to get us tickets, from the age of 6 every year i'd make my way down with my 9 year old sister to watch the film (walk of about 2 miles) and we'd get a paper bag with an apple and orange in it, a selection box and £5 off santa.

After that we'd traipse round town feeling rich and scoffing our selection box after binning the fruit of course

Obviously I lived to tell the tale as i'm typing this, I expect most 10 year olds in 2011 would too

Shit YANBU ffs.
Saying this my ds[12] goes all over the place by himself now, but the amount of growing up he has done since he was 10 is incredible

Also I would not assume a 10 year old has a mobile phone.

I am appalled. When I was 10 I went to the loo in a cinema and I got locked in a cubicle and couldn't get out and someone came in but I was too embarrassed to say anything because it was a toilet, and when they went they left a tap running and the toilets flooded and I had to stand on the toilet with the water half way up my calves ruining my new party shoes which made my mum really angry.

SO ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. yOU JUST DON'T KNOW.

Agree totally bamboo. God I'd love to be one of those parents who thinks nothing will ever happen to their child/child's friends-must be lovely to live in cloud cuckoo land.

I have had many incidents that have made me even more cautious than I used to be.

1. A birthday trip to a country play park in 1000 acre woodland, where 7 year olds were allowed to wonder around where they fancied, whilst the parents had a cup of tea in the cafe. I had gone with my DD, cos I didn't trust the parents. Bloody glad I did.

1. Didn't allow my 9 year old to a swimming party at a friend's house, again didn't trust the adults and they didn't want parents staying. They had to ring 999 as a child was found at the bottom of the pool.

I could go on.

OP YANBU just a caring parent.

Yabu.

I have dropped my son and his friend at the cinema and I went shopping, then went back to pick them up.

I do agree tho the parents should have told the op beforehand tho, even if that just meant she let her daughter have use of a mobile to put her mind at rest

QLB, are there a lot of near death incidents at events where you are present?

So QLB - I resent the inference that I'm not a caring parent because I think there's a gulf of difference between leaving children alone in a park or a swimming pool and a frigging cinema on a Saturday afternoon

Don't worry, LB, she's like an accident magnet - don't go to any parties she's going to...scary.

They were dropped off and picked up after, don't see the problem.

It wouldn't bother me as long as

I was told the arrangements before the party
dd had her phone with her or someone else did with credit, if I know the scroe though I can give dd the phone and she can then call me if anything was to go wrong.

I have taken my dd to the cinema and dropped her of with a friend and then my and the friends mother have gone for a nose at local shops and a coffee whilst they enjoy the film.

Whilst I do think the child's parents should have consulted the other girls' parents about whether they were used to being left alone for 2.5 hours, (I found that what children were allowed to do varied wildly at this age), I also think that children of this age of course should be able to be left alone for that length of time. I wouldn't allow a child of that age to hang out aimlessly in town for 2.5 hours but surely the cinema is a fairly controlled environment? I presume that at least one of the girls, ad hopefully the birthday girl, had a phone on her in case of any problem?

Ooh ooh I live in Cloud Cuckoo Land! I must do. In 14 years of being a parent, and 3 very active DC, I can count on the fingers of one hand the accidents they have had that required a trip to A&E - all of which were so minor we got sent on our way with a patronising smile and Mr Bump plaster

I know that things can happen, let's face it anything can happen, it's just my experience that by and large they don't.

Orm - that's cos you ain't been out with QLB

Good point hully. Must tell my children to avoid here

TBH I always checked with other parents that what I intended to do was ok with them as I relise other parents aren't as liberal with freedom as I am and I want to give them the choice to say no and not push or force them into something they don't feel comfortable with. Whether I think they are mollycoddling or not is irrelevant the same as it isn't their business to judge the amount of freedom I have given my dc over the years

QLB there is a big difference between 7 year olds and 10 year olds, and the different locations you mentioned.

I would be abit miffed but as long as they come back in one piece would let it go.

See my dd have had lots of accidents but at school or with adults - or in the case of my dad whilst he had dd2 with him

I think I'm a worrying parent and think the worst will happen, but I think you know your child. I was worried about a swimming party where there were large floating inflatables in 6ft of water, kept asking the parent to keep an eye on DS. He kept saying he could swim and I wasn't sure. Later, the mom laughingly told me he swam like a fish, jumping off and swimming under the inflatables etc. I felt stupid but leaving him in the cinema with friends and phones. No problem with that. BTW I cross him over a very busy main road every morning and he is 11, is that OTT?