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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is the nursery?

161 replies

RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 17:50

Got a call today from my DD's nursery to say she had fallen asleep and could I come and get her as they hoped to take the other children out for a walk - whilst I didn't want to inconvenience the other children it was also quite inconvenient for me to cut short my plans to dash there.

It's a small and usually sweet nursery and not one that usually facilitates naps, but when I had asked before what would happen in this situation and if for example, she was tired and looking at a book in the reading corner and fell asleep would it be ok? I had been given the impression that yes, that would be ok.

She's not quite two, so still quite little, and had had a bad night's sleep, hence she fell asleep whilst reading a book with one of the nursery workers.

I asked them to try and wake her after ten minutes and then I would come if she wouldn't, and rang back 10 minutes later. They weren't keen on trying because she was "snoring and really asleep."

I got there ten minutes later to see her being woken by another child who simply stroked her cheek a couple of times, so felt a bit annoyed that this was all it took and that they still seemed keen for her to go home, despite me having to pay for the session.

Anyway (I'm getting there!) what really upset me is that she had been left lying face down on hard, and fairly cold floor. Sad
I feel that it's uncomfortable, unhygienic (she only recently recovered from croup too) and that she was vulnerable to being trodden on. If any child in my care fell asleep on the floor I would move them to a comfortable spot (she had a picket fence-enclosed beanbag area that was two feet behind her), or at the very least slipped a cushion under their face??

When I calmly asked this, I was shrugged off and told that they don't facilitate naps and that they "didn't know how long she would be there for". I asked how long it had been and the lady said half an hour!

I rang the manager (who was there at the time) this afternoon after checking with my DH that I wasn't being precious, he for once (!) said no and that I should clear it up). I asked her several times that if this situation ever arose again, would they put her somewhere safe and comfortable until I got there? She gave me a variety of evasive non-answers like "we don't facilitate naps", when children fall asleep during a session they need their mum" Confused, "the other children tried to wake her for ages and in the end we called them away", until the fourth time I asked and she just said "hmmm, yess, yess, anyway". I just felt flabbergasted and said see you next time.

I'm not sure if they're being wishy-washy or taking the piss!

I feel I've been uber-polite about it so far, even though I feel like flouncing but it's a small world round here,and I've been really trying to fit in to this new area and feel unsure of my next move. I like her carers but can't compute that they also think this is acceptable...

WWYD? I have to go out but will gratefully read your replies when I can throughout the evening.

OP posts:
RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 17:50

p.s. my second child so not a PFB! Smile

OP posts:
corns11k · 18/01/2011 17:52

surely lying face down on the floor is unhygenic and dangerous?

pjmama · 18/01/2011 17:52

"don't facilitate naps" for children under 2 in a nursery???!! What a load of bollocks!! I'm enraged on your behalf.

Find a new nursery, this one sounds like a load of rubbish to me.

greedychops · 18/01/2011 17:54

Yanbu - if that was my child I would have been fuming. How can you 'not facilitate naps' when you are looking after children under 2?

Seems like you have been very restrained and if you have a choice, I would be looking at other nurseries.

It wouldn't have taken any effort to pop a cushion under her at the very very least.

Am Angry on your behalf.

Deciduousblonde · 18/01/2011 17:54

What sort of nursery doesn't facilitate naps??

My eldest children used to go to a relatively small nursery and naptimes were always 'facilitated'. There was always someone there to make sure the children were ok and naps were quite often impromptu. It was a lovely sight to see..a child just carked out on a beanbag :)

I would be concerned whether this is the right place for my child, that's for sure. Do you talk to any of the other parents?

OldMumsy · 18/01/2011 17:54

YANBU they sound pretty uncaring to me. i would have been cross in your situation.

Hullygully · 18/01/2011 17:54

If nothing else basic human warmth and kindness would mean that anyone would put a cushion under them and a cover over, surely?

Sounds like they really don't want naps, maybe find a nursery that can cope with them?

Katey1010 · 18/01/2011 17:54

I rarely say that people are being passive aggressive but they are. They want to say that your DD having a nap messes with their schedule and is a PITA to them but they can't say that. So they are evasive with you and leave the poor thing on the floor. I would try to be assertive (again!) and ask for an agreement. so, "can we agree that she will have a pillow under her face at the least?". If not, you will have to think about whether it is a fight you have to win...

greedychops · 18/01/2011 17:54

Ha ha panama - crossed posts - same thought!

AlaskaHQ · 18/01/2011 17:55

Something sounds very wrong here. Both leaving her facedown on the floor, and needing you to pick her up before they went out for a walk.

Are they OFSTED registered?

greedychops · 18/01/2011 17:55

Pjmama I mean.

pranma · 18/01/2011 17:56

I'm afraid I would find a new nursery-this attitude to naps for a child under 2 is not acceptable at all.

unhappyshopper · 18/01/2011 17:56

words fail me... they really do...

and you are definately not being unreasonable...

pommedeterre · 18/01/2011 17:58

When I put dd in a nursery I then go to work. Obviously if she was ill I would come rushing back but if a nursery I was paying to look after her asked me to come back from work because she had fallen asleep?!!
Report them. they sound uncaring.

McGill · 18/01/2011 17:58

Gee whizz that is utterly ridiculous and if our nursery was like that the kids would be out and going to a different one pretty quickly! I mean - kids fall asleep and need naps at various points during the day depending on their age so how on earth can they justify saying they don't 'facilitate' them when the bloody facility they work in is there to care for them!!!! Dafties I tell you!! You are defo not being unreasonable. x

pink4ever · 18/01/2011 17:58

YANBU but really what do you expect? They are a business at the end of the day and had their other charges/customers to consider and your dc was being an inconvenince(which is why they asked you to collect her).Am sure you will come back and tell me how fabululous this nursery usually isHmm.

mum295 · 18/01/2011 17:59

YANBU!

My DD is 2.5 and goes to nursery in a class of kids aged 2-3 years. About half of them, including her, still nap after lunch and are allowed to do so (on mats on the floor). The non-nappers are removed to another room with older kids, or to play outside for an hour or so.

activate · 18/01/2011 17:59

don't understand how a nursery can not facilitate naps

how long is the session your child attends for?

becaroo · 18/01/2011 17:59

YANBU

New nursery.

Report this one to OFSTED.

Zippylovesgeorge · 18/01/2011 18:00

All nurseries that take under 2's have to have a sleep area - even if its just beans in a quiet corner - OFSTED rule - the nursery are talking bllcks.

unhappyshopper · 18/01/2011 18:00

Am I missing the obvious here.. but why couldnt they just wake her up.

Evenstar · 18/01/2011 18:00

I work at a pre-school and we take children from 2yrs 6 months to school age, we do not have an area for naps but I can promise you that if any child were to fall asleep in our care they would be placed in a comfortable position and certainly not left face down on the floor. I cannot believe they made you go and collect her either. I would suggest looking for another nursery, I am angry on your behalf to think of your DD on a hard cold floor, they are very uncaring in my opinion.

Ewe · 18/01/2011 18:01

YANBU - doesn't facilitate naps? What bollocks. My DD is in a nursery where they will "facilitate" naps for as long as you want, that includes in the pre-school room and they have individual mats to sleep on or cots/beds. Your DD is only little, my almost 3yr old still likes a nap of an afternoon (when I let her!).

What if you were working? I can't imagine having that conversation with my boss, "sorry about that conference call, my DD has nodded off so I have to go and get her". It doesn't even make sense, she would almost certainly have to wake up when you got her anyway, why couldn't they just wake her up?

tallulah · 18/01/2011 18:02

My DD started out at a small nursery. They had a separate sleeping room full of cots for the under twos to sleep in when they needed to.

What sort of childcare facility doesn't facilitate naps FFS? Could they not at least have put her in a buggy/pram and taken her out with them?

I would be looking for a nursery that facilitate your DD's needs, and not the other way around.

talkingnonsense · 18/01/2011 18:02

Is it a nursery meaning Childcare or a playgroup type thing that is only a couple of hours and a nap would be unusual? Yanbu either way but the second might sort of explain it?