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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is the nursery?

161 replies

RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 17:50

Got a call today from my DD's nursery to say she had fallen asleep and could I come and get her as they hoped to take the other children out for a walk - whilst I didn't want to inconvenience the other children it was also quite inconvenient for me to cut short my plans to dash there.

It's a small and usually sweet nursery and not one that usually facilitates naps, but when I had asked before what would happen in this situation and if for example, she was tired and looking at a book in the reading corner and fell asleep would it be ok? I had been given the impression that yes, that would be ok.

She's not quite two, so still quite little, and had had a bad night's sleep, hence she fell asleep whilst reading a book with one of the nursery workers.

I asked them to try and wake her after ten minutes and then I would come if she wouldn't, and rang back 10 minutes later. They weren't keen on trying because she was "snoring and really asleep."

I got there ten minutes later to see her being woken by another child who simply stroked her cheek a couple of times, so felt a bit annoyed that this was all it took and that they still seemed keen for her to go home, despite me having to pay for the session.

Anyway (I'm getting there!) what really upset me is that she had been left lying face down on hard, and fairly cold floor. Sad
I feel that it's uncomfortable, unhygienic (she only recently recovered from croup too) and that she was vulnerable to being trodden on. If any child in my care fell asleep on the floor I would move them to a comfortable spot (she had a picket fence-enclosed beanbag area that was two feet behind her), or at the very least slipped a cushion under their face??

When I calmly asked this, I was shrugged off and told that they don't facilitate naps and that they "didn't know how long she would be there for". I asked how long it had been and the lady said half an hour!

I rang the manager (who was there at the time) this afternoon after checking with my DH that I wasn't being precious, he for once (!) said no and that I should clear it up). I asked her several times that if this situation ever arose again, would they put her somewhere safe and comfortable until I got there? She gave me a variety of evasive non-answers like "we don't facilitate naps", when children fall asleep during a session they need their mum" Confused, "the other children tried to wake her for ages and in the end we called them away", until the fourth time I asked and she just said "hmmm, yess, yess, anyway". I just felt flabbergasted and said see you next time.

I'm not sure if they're being wishy-washy or taking the piss!

I feel I've been uber-polite about it so far, even though I feel like flouncing but it's a small world round here,and I've been really trying to fit in to this new area and feel unsure of my next move. I like her carers but can't compute that they also think this is acceptable...

WWYD? I have to go out but will gratefully read your replies when I can throughout the evening.

OP posts:
GORGEOUSX · 18/01/2011 18:37

This is utter Tosh and nonsense. If the nursery cannot cope with a 2-year old falling asleep, to the point that they have to ring you to collect her, what on earth is going to happen when they have a real problem?

I would go so far as to say ignore the OFSTED report - you don't need OFSTED to tell you what you yourself know, deep down - i.e. They are seriously lacking in judgement/care.

TattyDevine · 18/01/2011 18:38

Please report them to Ofsted. They do not deserve their rating, dont let them get away with it.

Any nursery that takes your money then doesn't "give" you what you paid for, is crap as well. Obviously if a child comes down ill or is hurt, that's a suitable reason for sending them home but I can't think of any other reason.

Boys2mam · 18/01/2011 18:38

I wondered too about whether it was a Playgroup type setting where the sessions are only generally 2 hrs long (around here anyway).

That certainly doesn't seem to be the case and I am Confused Shock and would certainly be Angry if I were the OP.

Just plain weird to expect a parent to collect a child of an under 2 as they are sleeping??

Caz10 · 18/01/2011 18:39

Even at our school nursery, where they don't officially "facilitate naps" and children dont start until they are 3, there are still wee ones falling asleep, they just get lifted and put somewhere comfy! Sounds rubbish to me, how have you found them otherwise?

JamieLeeCurtis · 18/01/2011 18:40

Weird

They could have

a) woken her up
b) changed their plans to go out
c) made her comfortable?

What is the bollocks about "facilitating naps"?

And what if you had been working?

Strange

Boys2mam · 18/01/2011 18:41

a child under 2 not of an under 2; obviously Grin

pozzled · 18/01/2011 18:43

I would definitely be looking for a new nursery. DD is in the 2-3s room at her nursery. If she has a bad night's sleep she could fall asleep any time and the only reaction I ever get from the staff is 'bless, she must have been tired'.

Flisspaps · 18/01/2011 18:44

YANBU. Find somewhere lovely for her to go, somewhere that doesn't facilitate naps for under 2's is anything but outstanding!

ohnoshedittant · 18/01/2011 18:44

YANBU. That's terrible. I'd report to OFSTED and find a new nursery (or a childminder).

SauvignonBlanche · 18/01/2011 18:44

How odd!

Onetoomanycornettos · 18/01/2011 18:47

'Facilitate naps'; what are these people on?

I'm sorry, but that's just horrid. My dd2 was (and still is) a sleepy child, she fell asleep on anything and anywhere, including floors, under beds, sofas, car seats, laps, anywhere she lay down. Til she was nearly 5!

I cannot understand that they don't get that small children need naps. How bizarre? I obviously couldn't have left either of mine there as they both napped a lot in the days.

coccyx · 18/01/2011 18:48

I am amazed. Most nurseries have a sleep area /room. Good grief not unreasonable to have a nap at that age. and as for being on a cold floor.....i am cross for you.
I would contact Ofsted and remove your daughter

goingroundthebend4 · 18/01/2011 18:49

ds used to fall asleep at playschool quite a few times i go pick him up and he be flat out in book corner on cusions .He then carried it over to school and even now in Y1 occasionally has been known to have a small doze teachers are used to turning round and finding ds having little nap in the corner .Mind he only gets maxium of 20 minute sbefore they wake him.( he has long days as speech unit so is up at 6 am for transport at 7,20 and doe snot get home to 4,30)

TragicallyHip · 18/01/2011 18:51

YANBU

How can they not facilitate naps for under 2's? Doesn't sound right to me. Ds is 18 months and goes 2 mornings a week, if he is really tired they put him in a cot for half hour.

And to leave her on a hard cold floor is disgraceful Shock I would complain of I was you!

stoppinchingthedummy · 18/01/2011 18:53

and name and shame!!!

Bathsheba · 18/01/2011 18:54

I'm still looking for more clarification - is this what would be called a daycare nursery - the type where you drop a child off in the morning, go to work and then pick said child up at night...??

How on earth can they have such rules about naps...Also was the building going to be completely closed and deserted when they all went for a walk - Could one of them not stayed with her/done admin/tidied up.

I can see at my playgroup they wouldn't be able to cope really if a child fell asleep as they aren't set up for it, but thats why you have to be 2 years 10 months to start at playgroup AND its only 2.5 hours a session.

If you had been at work would they have called you there to come and get her?

Do other parents of children there leave their child and go to work?

MarianneM · 18/01/2011 18:55

Unbelievable! So they don't allow under 2-year-olds to sleep?! That's just horrible! And what kind of child care professionals leave a child to sleep on a bare floor and call its mother because they cannot cope with the situation? I bet you pay a lot too!

This is one of the main reasons I moved from London to Finland last year: expensive, rubbish childcare. Here in Helsinki it is usually very good and heavily state-subsidised. Even pre-schoolers are allowed naps in a nursery - and kids go to school aged 7!

Find another nursery, this place sounds utterly crap! Your poor daughter!

Elk · 18/01/2011 19:00

My daughters reception class has an area for them to rest if they need to. Twice before christmas when I picked her up she was fast asleep in the cosy corner and she is 5.

Not a particularly helpful comment I know but it does show just how unreasonable your nursery was being.

JamieLeeCurtis · 18/01/2011 19:04

Bathsheba - both my DCs went to a half-day playgroup, and I'm sure they just left sleeping children on cushions. And if they had had plans to take the DCs out, they would have woken the child up or not gone out, Im sure of it (the DCs were age 2 and up)

IAmReallyFabNow · 18/01/2011 19:06

This makes me feel really sad.

My dd went to a nursery for a few months and even though it was small in terms of space, they had cushions/mats for children to nap if they wanted.

earthpixie · 18/01/2011 19:15

This sounds like a dreadful nursery, if the people working there left a tiny child face down on a cold floor because she had the temerity to fall asleep when they don't 'facilitate naps'!!

It sounds positively neglectful. Are they OfSted registered?

I would seriously condsider changing your nursery

Choufleur · 18/01/2011 19:19

That's utterly ridiculous. Sounds like an awful nursery - most under 2s nap. DS still had a nap at nursery when he was 3 and when he didn't go to sleep they would have quiet time.

There's no way I could have left work to pick him up just because he fell asleep.

Find another nursery.

Particles · 18/01/2011 19:25

How can a nursery "not facilitate naps"?! Their charges are still babies ffs! Ds' nursery have specified nap time after lunch and a quiet area with cushions to settle down in! Do any other parents there have a problem with this, do you know? What would have happened if you were in work - you would have had to pull yourself out for the afternoon and explain to your boss that your daughter had fallen asleep at nursery! Hardly an emergency! Completely ridiculous, I think you are entirely right to pull them up on it!

ensure · 18/01/2011 19:30

I wouldn't send my DD again after that. Sounds an awful place!

mincenmash · 18/01/2011 19:32

Bloody hell YAsoNBU, what type of nursery is this? I'd have my child removed from there immediately. No naps for a 2year old and sleeping on cold floor with no cushions.There are regulations they need to follow and they clearly aren't. And as for you having to collect her because she was asleep. I'd be reporting them asap