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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is the nursery?

161 replies

RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 17:50

Got a call today from my DD's nursery to say she had fallen asleep and could I come and get her as they hoped to take the other children out for a walk - whilst I didn't want to inconvenience the other children it was also quite inconvenient for me to cut short my plans to dash there.

It's a small and usually sweet nursery and not one that usually facilitates naps, but when I had asked before what would happen in this situation and if for example, she was tired and looking at a book in the reading corner and fell asleep would it be ok? I had been given the impression that yes, that would be ok.

She's not quite two, so still quite little, and had had a bad night's sleep, hence she fell asleep whilst reading a book with one of the nursery workers.

I asked them to try and wake her after ten minutes and then I would come if she wouldn't, and rang back 10 minutes later. They weren't keen on trying because she was "snoring and really asleep."

I got there ten minutes later to see her being woken by another child who simply stroked her cheek a couple of times, so felt a bit annoyed that this was all it took and that they still seemed keen for her to go home, despite me having to pay for the session.

Anyway (I'm getting there!) what really upset me is that she had been left lying face down on hard, and fairly cold floor. Sad
I feel that it's uncomfortable, unhygienic (she only recently recovered from croup too) and that she was vulnerable to being trodden on. If any child in my care fell asleep on the floor I would move them to a comfortable spot (she had a picket fence-enclosed beanbag area that was two feet behind her), or at the very least slipped a cushion under their face??

When I calmly asked this, I was shrugged off and told that they don't facilitate naps and that they "didn't know how long she would be there for". I asked how long it had been and the lady said half an hour!

I rang the manager (who was there at the time) this afternoon after checking with my DH that I wasn't being precious, he for once (!) said no and that I should clear it up). I asked her several times that if this situation ever arose again, would they put her somewhere safe and comfortable until I got there? She gave me a variety of evasive non-answers like "we don't facilitate naps", when children fall asleep during a session they need their mum" Confused, "the other children tried to wake her for ages and in the end we called them away", until the fourth time I asked and she just said "hmmm, yess, yess, anyway". I just felt flabbergasted and said see you next time.

I'm not sure if they're being wishy-washy or taking the piss!

I feel I've been uber-polite about it so far, even though I feel like flouncing but it's a small world round here,and I've been really trying to fit in to this new area and feel unsure of my next move. I like her carers but can't compute that they also think this is acceptable...

WWYD? I have to go out but will gratefully read your replies when I can throughout the evening.

OP posts:
RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 22:57

Forgot to say, although they make it fairly clear they don't want napping kids there, this seems to be contradicted by the fact that they take children from 19 months?

Even if I have been wrong trying to put her in for a longer day (9-3 still short by day nursery standards) surely she's not the first one to fall asleep and they should show "care" for her once she is asleep, as you all say.

OP posts:
catchafallingstar · 18/01/2011 23:27

Doesn't matter how long your dd is there, be it 2 hours or 10- they should still have the provision for napping/ sleeping children!

Move your dd now and register a complaint!

bubblebabeuk · 19/01/2011 07:16

sorry, it must have been awful to find your DD dumped on the floor like that, hats off to you for not yelling at the time, I'm not sure I could be so calm in your place. I really feel its absolutely essential that you do contact OFSTED other parents make judgements on where to place their DC using thye ofsted data, his nursery does not deserve a outstanding its that simple. I am stunnned by the total neglect and disregard for your child OP by this "Outstanding" nursery :(

LisasCat · 19/01/2011 07:28

I'm sure I'm just re-iterating what everyone else has said, but to not facilitate naps? For children under 2? That's like saying "we don't provide food, if your child is one of those awkward buggers that requires food, you'll have to pick him up from us."

You've got a crap nursery there, I'm afraid. I have no idea how they're still in business, but it shouldn't be on your money.

gorionine · 19/01/2011 07:29

I cannot believe that a place who is aimed at children aged 19 months onwards has no sleeping facilities for naps! Shock You say they are "outstanding" according to Ofsted? I would complain!

Do they always call parents of little ones who fall asleep (surely your DD cannot be the first or only one to do so)? Why do you pay them if not for them to look after her while you do other things? surely calling a parent because their child is asleep defeats a bit the point of nursery?

GinaFordsDrugMule · 19/01/2011 07:31

what a crap nursey. I would be inclined to see the manager and write her a letter. Ask for a response in writing too and go to bloody ofstead or whatever you have in England. Absolute rubbish

LisasCat · 19/01/2011 07:32

Just to add, even though it's predominantly older children (than your DD) at your nursery, my DD's 3, and she still has naps after lunch. So do the other children of her age group at nursery. Even if they don't actually sleep, the nursery encourages them to lie down and rest for half an hour. A full nursery da is exhausting, even for the 4 year olds. There should always be some rest space.

moogster1a · 19/01/2011 07:49

childminder childminder childminder. Why anyone trusts these places staffed by kids is beyond me

racetobed · 19/01/2011 10:23

I think you should complain to montessori as well as ofsted.

I'm with you on the childminder front, moogster, but understand that a good childminder is hard to come across as well, and that options must be pretty narrow in rural areas.

new2cm · 19/01/2011 10:31

YANBU.

EYFS welfare requirements insist the nursery has the favilities to keep babies and toddlers safe at all times, and that includes nap times. Sleeping face down on a concrete floor does not constitute IMO a safe sleeping environment and I doubt an OFSTED would either.

Angry
RegularHasNameChanged · 19/01/2011 11:22

Hi all, spoke to Ofsted anonymously this morning who said the nursery failed to meet DD's needs and also ours as parents, to whom they should provide clear communication. The EYFS Statutory Framework Doc a couple of you provided was mentioned too, so thanks for those links.

I have asked the manager for a meeting today. Keep you posted.

OP posts:
edpen · 19/01/2011 11:32

Good Grief!! Even my child's RECEPTION class facilitates naps!

I would complain loudly and officially and find somewhere else.

BoattoBolivia · 19/01/2011 11:42

I have had year 6 children fall asleep in class!!! ( not that I am boring, but if they are I'll, had a late night and we have a peaceful, quiet lesson) although I wouldn't move them to a bean bag(try lifting an 11 year old) I would put a coat over them, and move anything under their heads!!! I would only phone parents if I thought they were ill, although I might go out and suggest mid week sleepovers should be discouraged!!! Smile your nursery is a disgrace!!

QuickLookBusy · 19/01/2011 11:48

My DD2 still had naps at 3 and at her very small nursery, they knew to go to the book corner on a big cushion. If they fell asleep someone would cover them with a blanket.

I volunteer in a Year R class and again if a child is very sleep they are encouraged to go and have "quiet time" in the book corner. Lots of them fell asleep during the first week of full days.

Glad you contacted OFSTED as I would have serious worries about this manager's attitudes towards little children. Christ I wonder what her attitude is if a child wets themselves. I wonder if she "facilitates that!"

not1not2 · 19/01/2011 12:04

I just wonder whether they were over their numbers if they were going for a walk and needed to dump one?
For one of the nurseries we used and left one of our reasons for leaving (there were more) was that we felt if they were short staffed they would claim the children were ill and call parents to pick them up Shock
As a parent I'd be far more horrified about a child sleeping on a cold bare floor (and being sent home for doing so) than I would be about my LO missing out on a walk or having it cut short

good luck with manager today

monkeyflippers · 19/01/2011 12:11

The nursery sounds really quite rubbish. They should at least have a quiet corner with a rug and some cushions and maybe a blanket where the children can sit and if they were to fall asleep they could be picked up and placed there.

As you say it doesn't make sense to say they don't faciliate naps but take children from so young! Mine was having naps at 3!

Silver1 · 19/01/2011 12:12

I appreciate that they "seem" lovely, but how can they be lovely if they will look at a sleeping tot and leave her on the cold hard floor.
I do think not1not2 has a reasonable possible explanation and that would worry me as well.
DS is 2.5 years and he still has a nap, usually after lunch very occasionally before, so it isn't unheard of for children to still be napping at that age.

monkeyflippers · 19/01/2011 12:16

Also if your child is in a nursery that means you are busy and the childcare is up to them. So if the child falls asleep (nothing wrong with that even though the nursery obviously feels inconvenienced by them) it's up to them to deal with it. If that means they can't take the other children out for a walk then that's too bad. Maybe they should hire more staff!

They can't just call you to pick up your child! You could be at work and the responsibility for your child during those ours is the nurseries. By expecting you to come and pick up your child they are treating their business more like a babysitting service. You might expect that call if you friend or relation was helping out with the child but nor a nursery that you pay a huge amount of money!

abenstille · 19/01/2011 12:19

WE're not at the nusery stage yet but i really dont like the sound of that. I too live in small village, trying to fit in and can imagine if that happened here Id worry about how to deal with it too. If you possibly can (ie not working) could you say you think shes still a little young for nursery as she still sometimes needs a nap (obviously), keep her at home a few weeks then quietly find another one.
When I was primary school teaching, a child asleep in my class (usually when not feeling well) would be placed somewhere soft/cushions etc and a phonecall home after a bit of a snooze only if they still didnt look well. Hope you get it sorted!

LittleWhiteSnowWolf · 19/01/2011 12:19

My DD is 18 months and still needs an hours nap when she does her 2 full days at nursery. She sleeps for about 2 hours when she's at home with me. I would simply not send her somewhere unable to "facilitate" naps. What does that even mean? Its not like they have to stand over them watching them sleep. I'm bewildered by this.

I'm horrified by the fact that your DD was left on a hard floor, face down. As you say a child went over to your daughter and stroked her cheek so there was clearly no keeping them from her. What if a child had accidentally stepped on her?

I wouldn't think twice about removing her from this ridiculous place and finding somewhere better.

IAmReallyFabNow · 19/01/2011 13:22

Good luck with your meeting. I think you need to go all the way with this as other parents might want to move their children if they knew this had happened. I would tell them why I was moving my daughter before the manager could get in. I was furious to find out the nursery manager we used told a member of her staff we moved our daughter because of her when in fact it was because of the manager.

mrsmay11 · 19/01/2011 14:05

I am so shocked my this, My ds once fell asleep at nursery attached to school. They ranf me up and said he is fine but I could collect him if I wanted to. I came about 10 minutes later. He was in the book corner on cushions with a blanket over him.
If a school can do that than I would expect the same from a private nursery.

stoppinchingthedummy · 19/01/2011 14:23

moogster - That was uncalled for "why anyone trusts these places that are staffed by kids" Maybe where you live they are but not all nurseries are please dont tar them all with the brush you have been handed!!

undercovamutha · 19/01/2011 14:35

Totally agree with you stoppinching.

My DSs nursery has staff ranging in age from 25 - 60 (although also has some students doing supervised placements), and in the 4 years my DCs have gone there not one member of staff has left (out of about 15 staff)!

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/01/2011 14:35

"don't facilitate naps" for children under 2 in a nursery???!! What a load of bollocks!! Angry

the average 2yr still sleeps, my dc 2.5 still likes to have 2hrs a day

glad you complained to ofsted and i would remove as they obviously dont have your dd needs at hand

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