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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is the nursery?

161 replies

RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 17:50

Got a call today from my DD's nursery to say she had fallen asleep and could I come and get her as they hoped to take the other children out for a walk - whilst I didn't want to inconvenience the other children it was also quite inconvenient for me to cut short my plans to dash there.

It's a small and usually sweet nursery and not one that usually facilitates naps, but when I had asked before what would happen in this situation and if for example, she was tired and looking at a book in the reading corner and fell asleep would it be ok? I had been given the impression that yes, that would be ok.

She's not quite two, so still quite little, and had had a bad night's sleep, hence she fell asleep whilst reading a book with one of the nursery workers.

I asked them to try and wake her after ten minutes and then I would come if she wouldn't, and rang back 10 minutes later. They weren't keen on trying because she was "snoring and really asleep."

I got there ten minutes later to see her being woken by another child who simply stroked her cheek a couple of times, so felt a bit annoyed that this was all it took and that they still seemed keen for her to go home, despite me having to pay for the session.

Anyway (I'm getting there!) what really upset me is that she had been left lying face down on hard, and fairly cold floor. Sad
I feel that it's uncomfortable, unhygienic (she only recently recovered from croup too) and that she was vulnerable to being trodden on. If any child in my care fell asleep on the floor I would move them to a comfortable spot (she had a picket fence-enclosed beanbag area that was two feet behind her), or at the very least slipped a cushion under their face??

When I calmly asked this, I was shrugged off and told that they don't facilitate naps and that they "didn't know how long she would be there for". I asked how long it had been and the lady said half an hour!

I rang the manager (who was there at the time) this afternoon after checking with my DH that I wasn't being precious, he for once (!) said no and that I should clear it up). I asked her several times that if this situation ever arose again, would they put her somewhere safe and comfortable until I got there? She gave me a variety of evasive non-answers like "we don't facilitate naps", when children fall asleep during a session they need their mum" Confused, "the other children tried to wake her for ages and in the end we called them away", until the fourth time I asked and she just said "hmmm, yess, yess, anyway". I just felt flabbergasted and said see you next time.

I'm not sure if they're being wishy-washy or taking the piss!

I feel I've been uber-polite about it so far, even though I feel like flouncing but it's a small world round here,and I've been really trying to fit in to this new area and feel unsure of my next move. I like her carers but can't compute that they also think this is acceptable...

WWYD? I have to go out but will gratefully read your replies when I can throughout the evening.

OP posts:
RJRabbit · 18/01/2011 18:03

If they don't care enough to move her to a soft place/cover her/put a cushion under her head, then I really wouldn't leave my child with them again.

They don't get to pick and choose the bits they don't want to do when looking after tiny children. Gee whizz, I wonder what their attitude is like with toileting - I dread to think. Maybe they'll start saying they "don't facilitate poos".

Poppet45 · 18/01/2011 18:03

Why would you put your child in a nursery that doesn't allow naps? Why would anyone use a nursery like that? Sounds like sleep deprivation torture. Children need naps no matter how inconvenient they are to 'faciliate'

racetobed · 18/01/2011 18:04

Report to OFSTED. This nursery is a disgrace. I'd remove my child from it immediately. And print out this thread and show it to them, and circulate to the other parents.

Angry for you. Disgusted with them.

BrianAndHisBalls · 18/01/2011 18:04

that's totally bizarre 'don't facilitate naps' how weird! Shock As for calling you to get her because she was asleep that's totally insane, most people who use nursery do so because they're at work. Obviously you'd go get her if ill, but because she was asleep? Get a new nursery quick!

SmethwickBelle · 18/01/2011 18:05

In our nursery the babies nap when they're tired in cots in a dark quiet room.

They factor in regular nap opportunities for the toddlers and even the older children can nap, right up to the 5 year olds if they need to, there are plenty of squishy cushions and beanbags to curl up on.

A nursery that doesn't facilitate naps for babies and small children sounds very bizarre to me, and leaving her face down on the floor just mean.

MumInBeds · 18/01/2011 18:06

The Early Years Foundation Stage says:

"Provision should be made (space or partitioned area) for children who wish to relax, play quietly or sleep, equipped with appropriate furniture. This may be converted from normal play space providing children can rest and/or sleep safely without disturbance. "

nationalstrategies.standards.dcsf.gov.uk/node/83976

MrsTumbles · 18/01/2011 18:06

WTF!?!?!? YAsooooooooooooNBU. I have never heard such crap, if they don't 'do' naps then they should have woken her up. This is the first thing I have ever read on MN that has left me speechless Shock

MoonUnitAlpha · 18/01/2011 18:10

What kind of nursery is this? Is it more of a playgroup?

Gillybobs · 18/01/2011 18:10

Horrendous.

I had a similar experience many years ago when my DS1 was 2 1/2. Put him in at 12noon for a few hours as they said lunchtime was at 12 and I was keen for him to sit with the other kids at the table...anyway found out the others were eating at 11.30 and then going for a nap, my boy's lunch was being kept for him arriving at 12 and he was sitting alone at a table in the dark (lights were out for nap time) eating. 10 years on I still feel appalled at the staff allowing this. Sadly many nurseries are staffed by young girls on low wages who have no kids (and IME that means complete lack of empathy).

Move her to another nursery. You will not regret it.

lollymad · 18/01/2011 18:13

What MumInBeds said, precisely. DS nursery (and DD's til she went to school) have a 'quiet area' set aside, and I think part of the EYFS guidelines now say that the children should be allowed to nap whenever, rather than having a set 'nap time' as I think lots of places used to do after lunch.
As others have said, report them to OFSTED if registered, and find somewhere else as soon as.

pigletmania · 18/01/2011 18:15

YANBU at all! They dont facilitate naps for young toddlers who are not yet 2 Hmm. They dont sound very child friendly at all, its not like she is at school napping. She is a baby still and needs her naps. This nursery does not sound suitable, find another.

RegularHasNameChanged · 18/01/2011 18:16

OMG so many replies already, just freshened up as I have to dash out to an adult learning course, thanks so much I promise to come back and answer in more detail later tonight after 9.30pm.

Quick ones though, she was there for 4.5 hours today.

Yes they're Ofsted "outstanding".
They are very small with about 8 children.

I didn't know that about the early years provision for comfy places to crash out - I'm so cross that there was a beanbag just behind her too.

Will answer everything else later, thanks again, it's good to know I'm not being twattish.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 18/01/2011 18:19

YANBU. Find a new nursery.

anonymosity · 18/01/2011 18:20

Just coming out with the party line of "we don't facilitate naps" is terrible. The situation arose and they refused to react to it in a human, caring way - they do need to be reported and you need to find a new nursery.

Bonkerz · 18/01/2011 18:23

seems to me a call to OFSTED is needed here. They are basically saying they cannot meet your childs needs which is essential. If they wanted to go for a walk and knew your DD was too tired they should have put her in a buggy. They are duty bound to meet the needs of the individual child and if that means having a sleep then that is what has to happen. They cannot refuse this to happen. I would write a stern letter stating you will pay for the hours she attended BUT NOT for the time when she was with you, the contract you have probably says you will collect if child ill not if child is inconveniencing a walk!

please do ring ofsetd with your concerns because what else is happening when noone is there......surely if a child is sleeping you do not let other children prod and poke?????

spiderlight · 18/01/2011 18:25

I really wouldn't be happy with that. Our nursery has a quiet room with a curtained-off area with soft mattresses for naps and a big squidgy low sofa in the book corner, and a little sign that they hang on the outer door if someone's asleep so parents in the corridor know to be quiet. This again is a very small private nursery. I'd be very unimpressed with the inflexibility in trotting out the party line. What else do they 'not facilitate'...? Hmm

KenDoddsDadsDog · 18/01/2011 18:26

That's awful. Poor child not being able to sleep at nursery. Would move her if I were you.

togarama · 18/01/2011 18:27

YANBU.

The thing that baffles me most is why a small child falling asleep necessitates their mother being called in.

Why not wake her up (it isn't that hard) or put her in a buggy as others have suggested?

Bizarre.

NonnoMum · 18/01/2011 18:28

Freaks.

Report them to Ofsted now.

They are critical of a baby who has a nap.

Weird.

eviscerateyourmemory · 18/01/2011 18:28

That nursery doesnt sound very good. I would be looking for a new nursery.
YANBU.

openerofjars · 18/01/2011 18:30

There are only 8 children there? Bloody hell, DS goes to one with about 20 kids and always has a nap. They have a chill out room, too: it's like Baby Ministry of Sound in there.

What's their attitude, generally? Do the staff tell you about funny or good things that your DD did, when you come to pick her up? Do they know what she's interested in? Do they tell you about her learning and development? Do they ask you about how you would like her to be cared for? Does she seem to like the staff and other children there?

Don't take her back there, it sounds awful.Sad

BALD · 18/01/2011 18:33

provision must be made for children who wish to relax, play quietly or sleep

This is a welfare requirement and Ofsted will be interested

racetobed · 18/01/2011 18:35

OUTSTANDING???
Just goes to show how any nursery can put on a good show when ofsted rocks up and then carry out a whole host of non-childcentric practises.

queenofboak · 18/01/2011 18:35

Feel really Angry on your behalf.

That really is shocking from the nursery. I would complain to OFSTED and find another nursery.

stoppinchingthedummy · 18/01/2011 18:36

YADNBU!! im only repeating what others had said but this nursery are awful - dont facilitate naps?!! she is 2?!If an 8 year old fell asleep in our setting we would make them comfortable!!! I would be writing a complaint to ofsted!!

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