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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to turf out DH's family?

373 replies

squarebobspongepants · 18/01/2011 05:23

I had DD three weeks ago and DH's family are staying with us (we live abroad so they've come to see our baby and turned it into a two week holiday, grr.) This morning BIL said to me "Can you find a way to keep that baby quiet at night? It woke me up and I found it impossible to drift off again." Arsehole.

Then MIL said "Haha, you better throw those jeans out now 'cause you're never going to get your pre-baby body back." Even bigger arsehole.

And I've had MIL and SIL hanging over my shoulder 24/7 telling me I'm doing everything wrong.

After having a good cry in the bathroom I told DH that they would have to go and stay in a nearby hotel as I just can't cope with them. We have not had any time to be alone with DD because MIL is always grabbing her off me "to give her a cuddle" and then won't give her back when I ask/beg/plead. Anyway, DH says we can't possibly chuck 'em out and that I'll just have to "get over it and fast."
I just feel so sad/lonely and I really don't want to feel like that considering I have a beautiful, healthy baby.

Sorry, haha, rant over.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 19/01/2011 22:12

VFAW, I am glad that twat is your ex

theoriginalscummymummy · 19/01/2011 22:17

SBSP- hope you and baby are ok.

thumbdabwitch · 19/01/2011 22:27

He's punishing you, isn't he - for your "rudeness" to his precious family. I wonder how long he will keep this childish behaviour up for.

well - much though I hate to say it, I'd be seriously reconsidering this "marriage" as well - unless he comes to his senses, comes back and apologises, he'd be out on his ear. And it would have to be a complete and grovelly apology too - not a half-arsed "I'm sorry I left too but you were rude to my family" - any form of conditional apology is NOT an apology in this instance (or most others, really) and should be seen as the benchmark for the way he is likely to treat you for the rest of your life.

Do you want to be a third class citizen against him and his family? And your child too? No? Thought not. Are you able to get yourself away at all? you're abroad, aren't you - are you able to get back to the UK at all? No, you won't have a passport for the baby yet. Are you able to stay with friends anywhere? Perhaps if you leave too, it might shake him up.

NoWayNoHow · 19/01/2011 22:32

spongebob I hope you're okay? Your husband is being and arsehole of the highest order? I can't believe he's left his newborn daughter and wife alone for over a day, and not bothered to call or text to see how you are??!!! Shock

I would be doing some serious thinking about the future of this marriage. He's supposed to be THERE for you, and unless he comes back backwards on his hands an knees, begging and pleading for your acknowledgement, I'd have some major doubts...

MadAboutQuavers · 19/01/2011 22:49

He's made it perfectly clear where his wife and child sit on his list of priorities hasn't he?

How repugnant

Square - the time you're having now with your new baby shouldn't be spoilt by anyone

Here's hoping your H comes to his senses soon and makes amends for his behaviour, because - quite frankly - he's the one missing out

constantlytired · 19/01/2011 23:16

How are you spongebob?

hairfullofsnakes · 19/01/2011 23:19

Oh goodness! This is awful! Poor OP! Your husband is being so disrespectful to you that I have to agree with others who say you may have to question everything - and his family are repugnant too

hairfullofsnakes · 19/01/2011 23:22

I just can't believe this, what sort of man is he? You deserve better.

Dansmommy · 19/01/2011 23:30

I second those suggesting you disappear yourself OP, when you feel up to it. What a tosser!

SkyBluePearl · 20/01/2011 00:47

are you ok SPONGE?

nextchapter · 20/01/2011 01:14

Oh my goodness. What an utter knob your DH is. Are you ok? Big hugs...and congratulations on your DD xx

begonyabampot · 20/01/2011 01:25

the Op's husband has been a knob but has only been gone a few hours - bit early to start crying for the usual, 'divorce the fucker'. Hope his family are giving him the what for and telling him to get back to his wife and baby.

thumbdabwitch · 20/01/2011 01:30

begonya - 24 hours since SBSP's post saying her H had left and yours. not a few. overnight - and no contact at all. He still has a chance for redemption but seriously? would YOU put up with that kind of behaviour?

begonyabampot · 20/01/2011 01:37

Don't know If I'd be ready to end a marriage over it on the say of a bunch of bored strangers.

thumbdabwitch · 20/01/2011 01:39

kinda depends on whether or not he has form for it - if it's a one-off, probably not - but it's not a good sign for the future of their relationship.

Anyway, we're not forcing her to end it! Just saying how we feel, as always.

SBSP - hope you're ok (and asleep - although not sure where you are so you might not be!)

Stac2011 · 20/01/2011 01:40

hope your ok sbsp, i have been readint his thread and can't believe how your il's and dh have acted. I have a 6 month old and there is no way I could have coped with such an imposition when she was just born in fact I doubt I could cope with it now. Your DH needs a square kick in the pants. Please let us know your ok

bronze · 20/01/2011 08:29

I keep coming back hoping the op will have posted saying shes ok

sparklyjewlz · 20/01/2011 08:32

same Sad

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 20/01/2011 08:45

I think the OP is in a different time zone, she usually comes on mid afternoon.
Hope he's come back positively grovelling!

HSMM · 20/01/2011 08:58

I'm hoping DH has gone, because he realised what a stupid thing he said and is now spending 24 hrs a day keeping everyone else out of the house ... but I might be wrong ...

Blu · 20/01/2011 09:51

Spongebob - has he come back? I assumed he and his family had gone out for the day - not him for good!
How are you?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 20/01/2011 10:00

Spongebob do you have any other support nearby, how are your family at supporting you?

I hope you're talking to people in RL about this, your HV or GP should be aware to to help if you need it,(although your posts sound very stong, it is easy to mask with words what's going through your head)

I hope you are ok

Grandmar · 20/01/2011 10:59

I feel so sorry for you, these people sound absolutely awful. Hormones/new baby, such an emotional time without the ILs from Hell.
They are also turning - what should be lovely memory into a nightmare!
They have to go!

redfairy · 20/01/2011 11:18

Hoping everything's OK SBSP? Plese let us know you're OK.
It's very easy for us all to offer advice on here but without knowing you and your family you need to decide what's best for you.

PatPending · 20/01/2011 13:55

Wondering how Spongebob is doing.

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