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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect people to take their shoes/boots off?

304 replies

LargeGlassofVino · 15/01/2011 11:43

I always take my shoes off when I go into someone else's house. I don't understand why you wouldn't. Why would you traipse crap all through someone's home? Most people seem to do it, but there is a hardcore of people that do not - am I being unreasonable to expect them to? Is it rude to tell them to take them off?
We have wood floor from front to back - does that make a difference?
My mum never takes her shoes off. She came over the other day when it was pouring with rain, wearing her big winter boots and went to walk straight through. I asked her to take them off as I'd not long ago mopped the floor. She was quite taken aback as I never ask - good old unassertive me that I usually am... When it was time to go, she went into the hall and brought the boots back into the living area, putting them on over the brand new rug (that we'd just been talking about, so she knew it was new). Aggghhh!
My SIL is just as bad. We had a party a few years ago when the wood floor was quite new, and she refused to remove her pointy high heels when my OH asked her to, as she 'hadn't painted her toenails'. All 40 or so other guests had taken them off except her. She came over for a dinner party the other night and it was the same - she stomped round my house in her big high heeled boots, when everyone else was in socks.
I'm no clean-freak by any stretch of the imagination. I am just surprised by this hardcore of people who think it's reasonable to keep their mucky shoes on. It's winter as well - of course they're mucky. And we have a crawling baby in the house - surely that's reason enough to take them off?
If I am being unreasonable, I'd love to know why...

OP posts:
TheMonster · 15/01/2011 11:44

YANBU. We take our shoes off at home.

PorkChopSter · 15/01/2011 11:46

I have a crawling baby yet still have to ask, and explain to those who go Hmm at me.

An ineffectual wipe on a doormat does not make them clean.

Hazeleyedbaby · 15/01/2011 11:46

YANBU - I could have written this post myself, I hate outdoor shoes on my floors esp as I have a baby crawling on them but by far family are the worst when i ask them to remove their shoes grrr!

Eglu · 15/01/2011 11:46

YANBU I agree but there wil be people along soon who tell you that it is rude to ask guests to remove their shoes.

Hazeleyedbaby · 15/01/2011 11:47

Oh and just to add - i bought a large box of overshoes and produce them when people resist taking their shoes off! Seems to sort the problem Wink

nowonthepill · 15/01/2011 11:51

you sound OCD

Shakirasma · 15/01/2011 11:51

We don't at home because we have a dog, so it's a bit pointless .

But I always do at other peoples homes, unless they tell me otherwise.

Your home, your rules. If visitors don't like it the don't have to visit.

charliesmommy · 15/01/2011 11:51

I am sort of torn with this one. Suppose the person has athletes foot? or a verruca? would you want their bare feet on the floor?

I am sure babies crawl all over floors at nursery and in other peoples houses where shoes have walked..

If shoes are muddy then of course they should be removed, but otherwise, then no, I wouldnt expect people to take their shoes off.

usualsuspect · 15/01/2011 11:51

YABU

nocluemum · 15/01/2011 11:51

Hazeleyedbaby - where did you get your overshoes , love that idea

ThreeIsEnoughForMe · 15/01/2011 11:52

We dont wear shoes at home but I wouldnt ask visitors to do the same. Its a bit rude imo to ask, they might feel very uncomfortable but feel obliged none the less. Not everyone likes going around shoeless, my parents would never dream of taking their shoes off inside, to them its like being only half dressed . I think its far more important that visitors feel relaxed and happy in my home, I can always hoover and mop when they go home(and I often do!). Obviously its different if they are coming in with big mucky boots that they refuse to wipe on the mat :), but under ordinary circumstances I think YABU to expect people to take their shoes off just to keep your precious floor clean, thats what mops are for!!!

usualsuspect · 15/01/2011 11:53

I would laugh at overshoes and never visit again ...

bessie26 · 15/01/2011 11:57

YANBU, but until I had a crawling baby I never understood why taking your shoes off was quite so important.

My MIL & FIL never take theirs off when they come round ours, even when the rest of the family have left a huge unmissable pile of shoes in the hall.

Original poster
LargeGlassofVino · 15/01/2011 12:02

Love the overshoes idea.

Nowonthepill & UsualSuspect - why? Reasons please.

CharliesMommy - hmm hadn't thought of verruccas etc, yuck. But at my LO's nursery, you have to remove your shoes before you enter because it's unhygienic for the babies...

Threeisenough...I am mystified that your parents wear them all the time. I can't wait to take my shoes off when I get home.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 15/01/2011 12:03

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tethersend · 15/01/2011 12:04

Overshoes?

Do you hold many parties?

NinkyNonker · 15/01/2011 12:05

Difficult, we have all wooden floors/flagstones/slate so floors are freezing, we both wear slippers/slipper boots in the house. Guests in just socks/tights/bare feet would be freezing/uncomfortable.

Chil1234 · 15/01/2011 12:05

YABU... we wear slippers at home but wouldn't ask visitors to remove shoes. Have never been asked to remove shoes at friends' houses unless they had pale carpet. Thought that was the whole point of wooden floors?

sarah293 · 15/01/2011 12:06

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Eglu · 15/01/2011 12:07

threeisenoughforme I know what you mean about your parents. FIL used to sit in his house in his shoes even if he wasn't going anywhere.

researchinmotion · 15/01/2011 12:09

I think if I had wood floors I wouldn't be bothered about muddy feet. Ok I'd be pissed off I had to clean the floor but hey ho.

I would be annoyed by the high heels that could damage the floor and the muddy shoes on a new rug though,

So I'm on the fence.

sarah293 · 15/01/2011 12:10

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Message withdrawn

FanellaFidge · 15/01/2011 12:12

YANBU.

Drives me mad.

We recently had a family stay for a few days. 2 adults and 3 children. Every morning they put their outdoor shoes on, even if we weren't going anywhere. Children roaming all over furniture as well as floors, I was too Shock to say anything. In fact I think I spent most of that weekend looking like Shock.

Original poster
LargeGlassofVino · 15/01/2011 12:12

Just to be clear, I very rarely ask people to remove them. I just inwardly seethe when they don't. As it seems that it's considered rude to ask then, I guess I won't in future..... Hmm

OP posts:
MrsBonkers · 15/01/2011 12:12

I never take my shoes off at home, so it never crosses my mind to do it at other peoples houses. I'd have to be asked.
It would depend on how I'm asked whether I minded or not.
To ask people when you have wooden floors is at bit OTT IMO except for pointy heels which could damage the floor.
I actually don't like it when people take their shoes off to come in my house.