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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude woman in tesco

208 replies

TorianaTollywobbles · 14/01/2011 20:23

This is my first AIBU so please be gentle!

In Tesco earlier. Woman in front of me in queue, unloading her shopping from small trolley. I leave a gap, put a divider on and start unloading my shopping also small trolley. The following then happens:

Her: What do you think you are doing? (aggressive tone)
Me: errr.... unloading my shopping
Her: well I have a full trolley you know
Me: ok will move my stuff down a bit, is not a problem, you only had to ask nicely
Her: silence

So was I BU unloading my shopping before she had finished? Didn't think I was, have done it before and no problems.

So AIBU or was she?

OP posts:
TandB · 15/01/2011 08:19

Ooh, just remembered a major supermarket etiquette breach. Just before Christmas my heavily pregnant friend asked me to pick her up a thing of mashed potato from M&S so she didn't have to spend too much time over dinner. The queues were huge so we all had plenty of time to piss each other off get to know each other.

I was talking to the lady in front of me about how rude some people had just been to an elderly lady in a mobility scooter - we had had to intervene as she kept getting pushed out of the queue. While we were mid-conversation an elderly couple joined the queue behind me and said "excuse me, I think we were here first" which was obviously strange. The other lady said "no you weren't - we have been talking for a while and you just arrived" so they stood tutting and huffing. Then when they got to the conveyor belt (several small batches of shopping on the belt at once) they started commenting loudly about people's shopping. The man turned to me and said "what, doesn't anyone just mash potatoes anymore". I was rather fed up by this time so I said "well shall I go home and tell my 8 1/2 month pregnant friend to get her lazy arse to the sink and start scrubbing potatoes because some random person in M&S does not approve?". More tutting and huffing.
The really entertaining thing? They were buying pre-prepared veg and potatoes and a pre-prepared chicken.

bean612 · 15/01/2011 08:43

Dear god, I can't believe so many people are getting het up about this! What's the big deal? Honestly, it all seems incredibly petty to me.

Secretwishescometrue · 15/01/2011 11:42

You were being rude imo and if your dc's were with you, you weren't setting a very good example of how taking turns or being in a Que works...

salsmum · 15/01/2011 11:56

Sometimes I do shopping for the people I care for or/and work shopping which has to go through separately IYSWIM? so if you put your shopping up by estimating how much room i need it royally fcuks me up makes things complicated when i have to put my 2nd divider up for 'others'(people i care for) shopping disclaimer i'm not doing my shopping in works time its the other way round Shock

agedknees · 15/01/2011 12:17

YABU. It is just politeness to wait until the person in front of you has finished putting his/her goods on the conveyor belt.

Think the rude woman alluded to in your post must have been yourself.

susiedaisy · 15/01/2011 12:21

always wait for person in front to have finished unloading their shopping first it is supermarket eticate, to assume you know how much room they need is rude, YABU

swanandduck · 15/01/2011 12:22

I started absentmindedly unloading my shopping in the supermarket last week and was mortified when I realised the person in front was still unloading hers and had a bit to go. Luckily, she wasn't as rude as the woman you met and actually apologised when I had to pull my stuff back a bit to make room for hers.

susiedaisy · 15/01/2011 12:30

"etiquette" of course, must remember spell checker!

gibbberish · 15/01/2011 12:30

Well after six pages of almost unanimous responses I think you can safely assume yabu op.

biglips · 15/01/2011 12:36

yabvu.....that happened to me a few weeks ago and it really pissed me off that she started to load her shopping onto the belt and not left much room for the rest of my stuff as still had a half a trolley to go so had to pile it on top of others quite high.....impatience bleeding people!!! and i gave her a dirty look Hmm!!

biglips · 15/01/2011 12:38

and you were both just as rude too

Original poster
TorianaTollywobbles · 15/01/2011 12:42

Well consider me told off then!

I do object to be being called rude though, honestly I am the least rude confrontational person if you really knew me.

Anyway that is the nature of AIBU so I can't be too upset.

As I have said I honestly did not think I was doing anything wrong, I had left her room to finish unloading her shopping. Ok I accept now that I was being presumptious, but rude? not sure.

If she had been polite first, I would have gone bright red and been mortified that she had had to say something to me.

As it was she took me by surprise by being aggressive and so I was a bit defensive.

Sorry everyone

OP posts:
Rasputia · 15/01/2011 12:45

YABU - How Rude & impatient. I would have reacted the same as she did and asked you to wait until I had finished. Same goes for when the assistant starts to shoot down the next persons shopping while i am still packing mine into bags.

Original poster
TorianaTollywobbles · 15/01/2011 12:52

Rasputia

did you read my last post? I give up....

OP posts:
DayShiftDoris · 15/01/2011 12:55

OP I too have learnt a huge amount about supermarket ettiquette and I am SHOCKED to have been shopping for 15years and have never been punched or thrown out of a supermarket LOL

Have to say I have better things to do than worry about than bizarre underworld supermarket ettiquette.

I also make a point of being nice to the cashier - after all they are the ones who HAVE to go - the rest of us have a choice Grin

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 15/01/2011 12:55

Agree with all the others YABU. Why the rush, where's the fire?

I too hate it when people don't put up the divider when they are done (very rude and inconsiderate) and when they stand by the pin machine. To the latter, i say 'excuse me' and/or obviously block thier view. It mostly works.

And I use the trolley block technique and move it down once I have finished unloading and put the divider up.

My trick, if the person in front does not put the divider up and has clearly finished unloading? just start putting my stuff on the belt. 9 times out of 10 they rush to put the divider on in case they have to pay for my stuff by mistake Grin

Rasputia · 15/01/2011 12:57

Yes, I read your last posts Toriana but not until afterwards as it crossed

monkeyflippers · 15/01/2011 13:01

Unless you can see that the person in front only has 3 items left to put on or something then you wait until they have finished. I have seen other people who are next in queue start to unload and leave no room on the belt for the person in front to finish putting on their shopping, which is just daft.

Original poster
TorianaTollywobbles · 15/01/2011 13:02

ok I really need to step away from this thread now.....

Biscuit
OP posts:
gibbberish · 15/01/2011 13:13

Itks just the nature of aibu toriana. Ignore the rather aggressive posts. You have learned something new and almost survived your first aibu thread!

MissBeehiving · 15/01/2011 13:30

YABU! Very rude!

Pixieonthemoor · 15/01/2011 13:38

The same thing happened to me the other day - the woman behind me left a tiny amount for my full trolley of groceries and, when I politely asked if she could move her things back a little considering I had so much stuff, she moved it back about 2 inches and then stared at me belligerently. I said nothing more but seethed internally. You are being very rude and thoughtless.

Original poster
TorianaTollywobbles · 15/01/2011 14:00

Yes yes I was rude Hmm

Pixie I had left her plenty of room for her small amount of stuff in her small trolley.

Has no one read my posts where I have explained myself?

Anyway, after lurking for 6 years and posting occasionally, I can now consider myself a fully fledged member of MN after my first AIBU pasting Grin

OP posts:
Lamorna · 15/01/2011 14:00

I think it is all rather petty,I wouldn't do it and I feel hassled if someone does it to me, but it isn't worth making a fuss about.
People get upset about little things, I politely said 'excuse me' yesterday to a woman standing right in the way and she was most most sarcastic, said she was terribly sorry and then because I didn't seem to realise she was being sarcastic she got right in my face to say in exaggerated tones,'I'm most terribly, terribly, terribly sorry',I just took her at face value and said mildly' that's OK' so I don't think she got any satisfaction, she probably just thought I was a bit dense! I only wanted her to move slightly to get past!

mommmmyof2 · 15/01/2011 14:08

It does annoy me a little as I feel a little squashed and the person behind me is not going to get there any quicker.
That being said I would not really make a deal out of it as I don't think someone would do it on purpose to wind me up(well I should hope not) Grin

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