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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude woman in tesco

208 replies

TorianaTollywobbles · 14/01/2011 20:23

This is my first AIBU so please be gentle!

In Tesco earlier. Woman in front of me in queue, unloading her shopping from small trolley. I leave a gap, put a divider on and start unloading my shopping also small trolley. The following then happens:

Her: What do you think you are doing? (aggressive tone)
Me: errr.... unloading my shopping
Her: well I have a full trolley you know
Me: ok will move my stuff down a bit, is not a problem, you only had to ask nicely
Her: silence

So was I BU unloading my shopping before she had finished? Didn't think I was, have done it before and no problems.

So AIBU or was she?

OP posts:
theevildead2 · 14/01/2011 23:18

Think that's acceptable woollyidea

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 14/01/2011 23:20

Perching basket on end is okay but only if it's really heavy!
Yabu and rude

taintedpaint · 14/01/2011 23:20

I'm trying to think what I do....and I think I wait until the person in front has put their last item up or has put the divider up.

So I do think YABU, but the way the woman spoke to you was unnecessarily rude.

duchesse · 14/01/2011 23:24

YABU. I suspect you know this already though. The woman did react rather aggressively mind you. It would be hard to know how to react to someone doing what you did though. It is an invasion of someone's personal space to a certain extent. She probably thought you were trying to jump the queue.

ILovedYou · 14/01/2011 23:24

Yes, as somebody as mentioned after one has finished unloading onto the conveyer belt, it is etiquette to place the divider on the belt.

So many people, after finishing their unloading, do NOT do this.

Winds me up no end grrrrrr Angry

TUT

PaisleyLeaf · 14/01/2011 23:27

I think you can perch your basket on the end so long as you then take a step back from it - then you don't seem like you're trying to chase the person in front off the till.

SteviesWifeIsBack · 14/01/2011 23:30

YABU..end of!

usualsuspect · 14/01/2011 23:38

You unload shopping ,block the way with trolly,person in front has finished move trolly to the end of checkout ,put divider in place ,next person puts shopping on checkout ...thats the law

2shoes · 14/01/2011 23:40

yabu
I cannot abide people doing that and will go VERY slow

zukiecat · 15/01/2011 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellaMagnificat · 15/01/2011 00:13

YABU and to appease the ( non-existent) karmic-supermarket gods I think next time you're queuing in front of someone who has fewer items than you, you should let them go in front.

And wait till they've loaded everything, before you begin unloading your shopping, obviously.

eidsvold · 15/01/2011 00:45

you do not think you were hassling her but she clearly felt hassled - hence her asking what do you think you are doing?

TBH I would have said that too - I have only had it happen to me once by someone who could clearly see I was nowhere near finished unpacking - had about 3/4 of a very full trolley to go and I have no idea where the hell she expected me to put it. In the end it took her and I longer to get through the checkout as I had to wait for her to pack it back into her trolley so I could finish unpacking.

Unless their trolley is empty and they have left space/put divider down then you do not start putting groceries up - would have thought it was only courteous.

eidsvold · 15/01/2011 00:47

heavy basket on the floor in front of you - your arm not hurting, person in front not feeling stressed or invaded.

browneyesblue · 15/01/2011 01:04

I've never done it myself, but I don't think I'd even notice if someone started putting their stuff on the belt if they had left space for me. If I needed more room, I'd just ask them to move their stuff back a bit. No need for any stress.

Mspontipine · 15/01/2011 01:56

I HATE it if people do this to me.
Breaks all the rules!!

piprabbit · 15/01/2011 02:09

How does it save time? Please, I don't understand.

If customer A is slowly unloading trolley, while customer B impatiently starts to unload their's as well, surely customer B just has to stand and wait for customer A's shopping to be swiped, packed and paid for. Why couldn't customer B use that time to unload their trolley? instead of rushing to do it while customer A is still unloading?

piprabbit · 15/01/2011 02:09

Sorry - that post made sense in my head Blush.

Deciduousblonde · 15/01/2011 03:09

I wouldn't do it..

However what REALLY makes me Angry is when I am packing my shopping up, and want to pay..I go to stand opposite the checkout person and find the person behind me in the queue is already standing there!!! WTF??? now THAT is damned rude.

oftenpurple · 15/01/2011 04:20

I think there are several supermarket etiquette rules that need to be strongly observed.

Don't unload until the person in front of you has completed their unloading.

The person in front should reach for the divider and put it on the belt. If not, strong tutting and hurmphing is encouraged.

Check that all your own items are on the moving part of the conveyor belt. If you have done the glance back and not claimed items on the metal part at the end, the shopper behind has the right to assume that you don't want those items and to move them aside.

Don't stare or comment on the person in front's shopping. Unless you see an item you were unable to locate and then inquire politely as to where it could be found.

The mad dash for milk/cat food/nappies is only allowed if you observe the 30 second rule or leave a child to attend to trolley.

There are others but I need to go and write my shopping list now Grin

kickassangel · 15/01/2011 04:25

Don't look into the trolley of the person in front - that looks like you're trying to make them hurry up & that would be rude.

Adopt 'the tube' far-away gaze, where you appear to be looking into mid-space, not spying on those around you, but actually you're observing and judging the every move around you.

TyraG · 15/01/2011 07:13

I've never done that before and wouldn't consider doing it as it's rude. YABU and should have waited for her to finish, but she was rude in how she handled it. She didn't have to be nasty about it.

I do the trolley block as well (did it in the states too) and I ALWAYS put the divider down when I'm done. I know how annoying it is when I have to reach for it, it's just the polite thing to do.

pippitysqueakity · 15/01/2011 07:52

Someone did this to me sort of once. My shopping was going through the cashier, and this woman behind me kept picking up MY items and saying ' is this yours?' And I kept saying 'yes' thinking 'WTF???' Then she did as has been mentioned above stand right at pay part when I went to pay. The cashier actually asked her to move back, so I wasn't imagining it! Wish I had said something to her instead of being such a wimp!So UABU but only because I am jealous ur other woman had more nerve than me!!

sparkle12mar08 · 15/01/2011 08:02

Yabu, and she was being rude. The two are not mutually exclusive. I can't believe that normally intelligent adults with generally good social skills cannot see that starting to unload before someone else has finished is percieved as rude and aggressive. It's a bit, weell, dim, not to realise that, surely? Oh you can still disagree with it, that's fine, but to not realise?

TandB · 15/01/2011 08:12

I do the same as Sarahstratton! I actually had a cashier comment about how fast I was at packing the other day. [proud]

I would be a bit taken aback if the person behind me started loading when I hadn't finished. I have only done it on one occasion when a woman in front of me had about three items left in her trolley but was too busy talking on the phone to finish loading so I left a big space and plonked the divider down in a huffy and pointed manner.

Blatherskite · 15/01/2011 08:19

YABU. I would have felt hassled and like my space was being invaded. Wait until the divider has been put down or until the trolley is empty.

I can't believe it makes things go any faster if you do this, surely you just load onto the belt while their stuff is being swiped and bagged?