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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

motherinlaw that posts pics on facebook

162 replies

nowonthepill · 12/01/2011 12:53

Hi there, just need to vent some anger! My motherinlaw is a total facebook addict. She plays farmville 24/7 and is friends with loads of people she barely knows as it benefits her farm or something...Anyway she puts loads of photos of my kids on, often using one as her profile pic. She knows I'm not keen but it doesn't seem to stop her. Am I being unreasonable to not want my kids shown off to a load of complete strangers? I really hate that I feel I've no control over this and worry that it's a little dangerous to provide so much info on three little kids. What does everyone else think? Feel free to tell me I'm being paranoid!

OP posts:

Bucharest · 12/01/2011 12:54

You are being paranoid, as presumably you know she doesn't associate with perverts or anything...but FFS, Farmville???? How old is she? 12?

TattyDevine · 12/01/2011 12:55

What are you scared will happen to them?

Sarsaparilllla · 12/01/2011 12:56

Block all the farmville nonsense and you'll never see it again, have you asked her not to use the kids pics?

BrokenBananaTantrum · 12/01/2011 12:56

YANBU

I get very pissy if anyone posts pictires of DD on FB. I hate it.

Ask her to remove them or contact FB to let them know. Not sure what they will do TBH

Original poster

nowonthepill · 12/01/2011 13:00

Bucharest: I don't know if they are pervs, as she accepts anyone to build up her farm. That's what I mean they are total strangers. And yes at 65 I would rather being spending my time differently.

I have asked her not to use them but maybe not as firmly as I should. I'll just have to bite the bullet and have words.

I don't really know what could happen, but she has one photo of my son in his uniform, and his name is below the pic....I just think it's dodgy.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 12/01/2011 13:04

I don't think it's a good idea to have pics that name the child and show a photo, especially in school uniform.

I wouldn't mind the photos on there if her facebook was locked down to friends, but as it's open to the world and she gives out lots of info I would be telling not asking her to take them down (I mean I'd ask, but in a way that didn't take no for an answer iyswim).

Original poster

nowonthepill · 12/01/2011 13:05

ChippingIn you are right, I hate confontation but it's not worth the risk. Thanks.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/01/2011 13:44

I would try to have a word with your MIL and help her set up her FB account so that only her friends can see it, nobody else - perhaps she doesn't know how to do that?

I can understand why you're annoyed; they're your children and you should be able to ask family members not to put pictures of your children up - that's your province as a parent.

What exactly are these strangers going to do to harm your children? Do you wrap their heads in blankets when you go out?

... and sorry to be a bit dismissive but exactly how interested do you think that other people would be in pictures of your children? I have friends on my FB account who always post random pictures of children and truth be told, I couldn't care less nor tell you anything about them.

I'm all for keeping children safe but I'm not going to buy in to the paranoia. If you know where your children physically are at all times and have control of their welfare then I don't see what there is to panic about.

tyzer2001 · 12/01/2011 13:48

YABU.

Do you cover your children's faces when you take them out of the house as well?

tyzer2001 · 12/01/2011 13:49

Bugger LyingWitch already said that. I was really pleased with it as well. Damn.

charliesmommy · 12/01/2011 13:50

I am assuming if your child won a prize or participated in some school event that was covered by the local paper, you would ban the paper from publishing his photo too?

I am not sure what exactly you think will happen to your child. Why not just be pleased that your MIL is proud of her grandchildren.

MadreInglese · 12/01/2011 13:53

YANBU, your children, your choice (but I doubt she's doing it out of anything but joy at being a grandma)

Friends/family posting pics of DD doesn't really bother me personally but I always ask other people if they mind first if I'm going to put up pics with their children in, it's just courtesy IMO

Just ask her to remove them or limit to certain friends if it bothers you that much

SenoritaViva · 12/01/2011 13:56

Do you think your MIL actually understands the repercussions? She just may not have thought it through properly and may need it drummed into her kindly spelt out for her.

Maybe suggest that she shares pics with people on a limited profile e.g. the people she really knows, perhaps you could offer to show her how so that it is 'locked down' and will be less confrontational.

allnightlong · 12/01/2011 13:56

YANBU Tell her to remove all photos ASAP and if she does it again you will no longer allow her to take photos of the children.
I use no social networking sites I'd be furious if someone was posting my childrens faces all over them.
In the past my sister has put up pics with my children and hers, I made it clear that I was unhappy with her doing this and she hasn't done it since.

charliesmommy · 12/01/2011 13:58

sorry, but that all I am seeing here is ridiculous paranoia...

tyzer2001 · 12/01/2011 13:58

SenoritaViva - take pity on me, I don't understand the perceived repercussions either. Please enlighten me.

Mrsfluff · 12/01/2011 13:59

If you are that concerned, perhaps you could ask her to put all the photos of your children in one album and set the privacy so that only her real friends can see it.

allnightlong · 12/01/2011 14:01

tyzer Really you cant work out how it endangers a child that a photo of them in School uniform and the childs name?

researchinmotion · 12/01/2011 14:01

I had people I didn't know on my FB but they were on a limited profile where they could not see anything I wrote on my wall nor could they see pics. How do you know that your mother hasn't set this up?

Agree with LyingWitchInTheWardrobe. There's far too much paranoia about.

seeker · 12/01/2011 14:02

Because every time you put a picture of a child on facebook, the computer steals a tiny bit of their soul. Once enough pictures have been posted, the computer has complete control of the child and can do anything it like with it.

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 12/01/2011 14:02

I wouldn't put pics of my kids of facebook and would ask that any friends/relatives do the same

Bucharest · 12/01/2011 14:04

What, like Voldemort and Harry?

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 12/01/2011 14:04

I should say there are issues with not-very-nice members of my distant family that I was protected from as a child so that's my reasoning for it

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 12/01/2011 14:05

so even if she does have pervs as friends on FB, what harm is that causing your children by the seeing their picture?

charliesmommy · 12/01/2011 14:05

Allnightlong, if your child was featured in a LOCAL newspaper, with regards to something they did at school, which has been a normal thing to happen for donkeys years, surely that would pose a much more dangerous risk... so would you ban the paper from showing your child?

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