motherinlaw that posts pics on facebook

[nowonthepill]

Hi there, just need to vent some anger! My motherinlaw is a total facebook addict. She plays farmville 24/7 and is friends with loads of people she barely knows as it benefits her farm or something...Anyway she puts loads of photos of my kids on, often using one as her profile pic. She knows I'm not keen but it doesn't seem to stop her. Am I being unreasonable to not want my kids shown off to a load of complete strangers? I really hate that I feel I've no control over this and worry that it's a little dangerous to provide so much info on three little kids. What does everyone else think? Feel free to tell me I'm being paranoid!

I think this is more of a 'control' issue; I would feel the same in that respect - but I wouldn't attach child safety issues to it.

I've thought about this long and hard and, taking the example of kids on a beach in bathing suits... there could be 100 paedophiles in close proximity gazing at the child - if the parent is there with the child there is absolutely nothing that can harm the child.

Has there ever been a case where a child's photo was seen on FB and then consequently abducted?

Or are most done in the moment, with little forward planning or knowledge of the victim?

Can your husband speak to you MIL about this, OP? Perhaps if he tells her to stop, she will.

If you really feel that strongly about it, tell her that she will not be getting any more pictures of your children.

Knowing someone is not keen is different to elling them to remove the pics. I had to tell my best mate to remove pics of DD...she was looking at me like I was nuts..it's nothing to do with anyone else though...if you don't want your childs image on the net...tell them no.

Most child murders/abuse is done by people they know, when they are not they make the papers. Hype and paranoia.

Op- I mean, I presume you had no objection to her having the photos in the first place, and might even have given them to her yourself.

I would be far more concerned about my child's photo being in the local paper (as others have said) the local paper is local . Pervs on Farmville are less likely to be my neighbours in Bognor....

Iloveitwhenyoucallmeboo When I suggested exactly what you're saying on another of these paedo-noia threads (that, even in the nasty, but unlikely event that some perv does photoshop your child, it is, at the end of the day a photo not the child) I was accused of not only not caring that a paedophile might be jacking off over photos of my child, but almost encouraging it. (despite the fact that I have no photos of my child anywhere that anyone I don't know can see them)

I agree with seeker..once its on the net there's little you can do about it.
People who know me will always ask if they can share photo's ect. My DC are also careful about infomation they share about themself and us including photo's. This is only because we've had first hand experience of a weirdo, otherwise it would never have occured to me.

JBellingham- exactly- this is why I don't (and will not ever) get this FB photo thing. The perv is not going to be some loser on FB. It's going to be a member of the family, who presumably has direct contact with the child in any case. Statistically.

Bubbleandsqueaks, There's a difference between being paranoid and simply wanting to protect them. It's not totally neccessary for there to be pics on FB of them, they are in no way missing out, so why not have them removed? I can understand being called paranoid if i never let them out, but for the sake of moving a few pictures...

"There's a difference between being paranoid and simply wanting to protect them."

protecting them from what?

Bad MIL for putting her farm before her grandkids

Actually, I don't think YABU, but maybe she doesn't fully appreciate your concerns. She is obviously very proud of her grandchildren and wants to show them off. Maybe you could suggest that she shares her photo albums (with pics of the kids) with close friends only? There is an option to choose who you want/don't want to see specific photos. If she doesn't know how to do this, maybe find out and teach her how to do it?

Boo...people can and do take apart pics of kids from the net...they use photoshop to paste the heads onto different bodies. I don't want to take that risk...even if it is a tiny one..it COULD happen because it DOES happen.

But how can you let them out when a perv might realise where they live and then abduct them.

Your argument holds no water, there is no logic.

This is nothing to do with FB anyway, its about your control issues and dislike of your MIL

But letting them out is not the same as handing out photos of them...which is what putting their pics online is tantamount to.

"Boo...people can and do take apart pics of kids from the net...they use photoshop to paste the heads onto different bodies. I don't want to take that risk...even if it is a tiny one..it COULD happen because it DOES happen."

yes and this affects the children how?

Yes it is the same .. People see them, as they do when they are out and about.

Its nonsense like this why we can't take photos of our children in their school plays etc.

Boo...because their image is sullied in disgusting and filthy ways...would you be happy of some filthy pedo wanking over you?

bubble..SEEING them is not the same as owning an IMAGE of them to do with as they want.

no i wouldn't be happy, but it wouldn't harm my dcs for it to happen would it?

But they could take a photo of your child, unkown to you, while they are walking down the street - esp. with all the phones that have cameras on them.

So how can you let them out knowing that could happen?

Yes it would. it would harm their future if those images were ever to resurface...and you'd have to be a robot not to be distured at the thought.

People are walking the streets day in day out with camera phones... you are on cctv everywhere you go..

That day you were at the beach there would have been thousands of people around you taking photos of their own kids, and its very possible that your kids are in the background of that photo, anywhere on the internet. It is not putting your child in danger.

If some pervert wants to cut and paste your childs face onto the body of another child, you are never going to know and it could be happening right now... there is nothing you can do about it and your child is not aware of it or being harmed by it. So sitting worrying about it is not going to make that any different.

A grandparent wants to show off innocent photos of her grandchildren to others. Is it really worth creating an atmosphere, causing bad feeling, and potentially ruining a real life relationship, for the sake of being paranoid about something that is most likely never going to happen.

The internet has not created a whole new wave of paedophiles. Your young children are no more at risk now than they have ever been in the past.

Older children ARE at risk if they put themselves at risk by accepting friend requests and chatting away with strangers, and by putting risque photos of themselves on their profiles. (and there are many silly little teenage wannabe lolitas who do this).

bubble

Yes...they could...but this is why we arevery aware now and why cameras are not allowed in swimming pools and other child centered places...we do out best to combat that happening..and the fact that it DOES happen quite often should be enough to put people off posting images on FB.

Harm their future?

Has the world gone mad?

Just because we ma not be aware of it happening Charliesmummy there is no need to enable it.
And people who do not want their kids on FB should be respected by others...and if that means not putting up pics of relatives or friends then so be it.