to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

[OnEdge]

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

YABU and as mad as a box of frogs

I used to like going in cafes (not Weatherspoons:)) when mine were little babies, no problems. Once they got to about 18 months, it stopped being fun for exactly that reason, they fuss, want to get out of the buggy, scream but don't want to stay nicely holding your hand. I just gave up long leisurely cafe visits for a year or so, til I had children who would be able to sit at the table nicely, and if I did go into a cafe or restaurant, kept them in the buggy.

YABU but mysteriously don't want to listen!

YANBU and then again you are BU. It's a public adult environment with hot drinks being carried about. But you had to warn her as your son wouldn't have understood. So that's ok, but you shouldn't have argued just explained that ti was his safety you're concerned about. Perhaps you could have been holding him instead.

YABVU. It is your responsibility to make sure that your child does not inconvenience anyone else at all. If you had addressed your comments to the child, as others have suggested, I doubt there would have been an issue. As it is, the woman probably thought "oh here we go, another parent who thinks the world revolves around their child".

And as for following her to her table to take issue with her, are you completely bonkers? I am surprised she even engaged with you. I would have been calling over a member of staff and requesting that you were removed.

Sorry Susiedaisy - x posts. Yes thats what I meant - less provocative to address it to your child /the 'hazard' than to the innocent passer by.

OMG I missed the following back to her table. Did you really do that? You'd have quite possibly worn my coffee today the mood I was in.

You take your DCs to restaurants in the evening too. Don't you. And let them run riot there. That's unreasonable too, before you ask.

Yabu

I can't believe you followed her back to where she was sitting to challenge her and argue about it for 2 minutes!! It's intimidating and rude.

and bonkers. You forgot bonkers Cheggers.

Dear OP, as a good friend from my students days used to claim, Weatherspoons is where ugly people go to die. On that basis, YABU.

TBH I think YABU being unreasonable. A pub is an adult place, primarily. However, I think it's OK to take your kids in, especially at that time.

I would have addressed my "careful" at my child though. Even if there was no chance of my child taking any notice of it, it would have alerted everyone nearby to some sort of hazard, without actually causing the sort of offence it actually did.

I think by law children are not allowed in the 'bar' area, only the family areas.
YABU

yabu.

if your dc will not sit and wait/stand and wait nicely then you should strap him in or hold him, if he arches his back and complians touch shit.

if however his behaviour is unmanigable for you alone in a pub then you should not take him untill he is able to behave.

your address of oh be carefull indicates that the woman was not being carefull. what you should have done was address the warning to your son about the lady with hot coffee and the approached him to ensure he was safe.

you should have then smiled sweetly or ignored the womans comment. I think she was pot on and just in what she said.

you should not have followed her to her table and given her what seems to me a barrage of abuse. what was your son doing when you followed her? was he left or did you take him?

please accept you are being ur your constant deffence is as redicioulus as your behaviour in the pub

"I personally think YABU. Sorry

You should have held onto your child while you ordered. Picked him up, or held his hand.

Its not for you to say "watch out",and everyone walk around him, the child shouldnt be there in the first place."

tuggy said it all in the second response. I can't beat that.

YABU.

YABVU

As a former waitress this was one of my real pet hates. Your child, your responsibility.

And as an "older lady" I'd have been none too pleased at you telling me to watch out for your child. Why couldn't you pick him up?

Both a bit unreasonable I think. If someone said, "Ooooh careful" to me then I would think, "No, he's your child so you be careful to ensure he stays out of harm's way". I think that what you said to her probably aggravated her and it would me too - the place sells hot food and drinks and it's a parent's responsibility to guard their child from hazards. But sounds like she was quite rude in response and escalated the situation.

Did she really say it to you, OP? Sounds like the kind of thing I might mutter to myself while walking away which would also fit with you following her rather than answering her then and there.

YABU and totally loopy. Your DC your responsibility. The lady you started picking on sounds totally reasonable to me.

If you'd started on me you'd have gone home wearing your coffee!

YABU - you set this scene in motion then you stood back and expect everybody else there to participate! Also, you created an unnecessary argument with the woman. I hope you were keeping a good eye on your two DCs when you were busy arguing the toss with her

YABU, because its just not safe to have littlies toddling around where people are carrying hot drinks or food. people generally look straight ahead of them and not down at the floor where your toddler would be, so they are easy to trip over.

Just have to comment on this.

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience".

How about you strap your child down for his safety then?

You've said several times that you didn't like her response to you - maybe she was having a bad day? Had toothache? Husband just died? (bit extreme maybe). You can't control how other people respond to you, but you can control how you respond to them. Following her to her table to keep on going on was rude and unnecessary.

Good point Balletrose.

I do like Weatherspoons esp their curry nights but YABU.

Who was watching your babies while you were following this woman to her table?

I love most wetherspoons - the one in Elstree is great for cheap satisfying brekkies and big bowls of onion rings.
The op is def being U - being told to be careful or watch out for someone' s kid in a pub would piss me right off. And the "I will not strap my child down for your convenience" line would have made me want to slap her. Self righteous nonsense.

YABU..

You would of gone mental if she spilt her coffee on your son had she tripped over him.

you should of left him in his buggy.. if he cried so be it, its life and he should learn..your in charge not your 18 month old son