to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

[OnEdge]

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

If my DS is wandering around in the way of people I will call or physically pull him out of the way - you can't expect others to be aware at all moments of your child.

If nothing else you could have called him or said "DS watch out for the lady!" which even if he ignores you alerts her to the fact there is a toddler running around near her legs.

I'm afraid I think you are being very unreasonable. How would that lady have felt if she had dropped a hot cup of coffee on your son's head? Awful and guilty! And how would you have felt? Not to mention your son? She wasn't in the wrong - she wasn't rampaging around pissed at the time knocking into all and sundry.

I think I would have let him 'arch his back' for a few minutes in the buggy.

I don't like seeing kids toddling round cafes either..I think they should be in their buggy or a high chair because of hot drinks and the like.

Erm hot drinks OnEdge.. I presume everyone is there for breakfast right?

If he won't come when you ask him to then he probably shouldn't be wandering off. Hmm. I don't think that's too unreasonable though really, more your response. Why did you follow her back and make a big deal? Honestly, it's the reacting to everything that causes problems, as I tried to explain to my year 8s today...

Our wetherspoons is very nice, i know some are rough though. Actually, I normally am a doormat and would skulk off all embarrassed but for some reason today I acted out of character. What annoyed me was the flippant way she said it with such old lady authority like she knows everything. I never usually challenge people but today i did. And then later when i calmed down i thought that I could see her point, but it was her delivery that was wrong.

YABU
You could have picked up your toddler while you ordered, which is what I would have done in the circumstances.
I think you over-stepped the mark in following the poor woman back to her table.
Strange behaviour.

there weren't lots of hazards, only doddery old women

So I take it the women you followed and intimidated (and it would feel like intimidation to an elderly person) was a doddery old woman, you sound so nice......not

mumcentreplus would you say that it was innappropriate for me to have even taken him in there at all ?

YABU...why did you not go to your son and hold him? Why not warn him? Rude of you to shout Oooh careful at her...and VERY rude to follow her. I would have been mad if you had done that to me. I think you are foolish to let your child toddle round where people carry hot drinks.

Strapping him in would have been for his safety not other peoples convenience.

sorry, not read entire thread but YABU

why should SHE mind out of the way of him? you should have been making sure your son wasn't in anyone elses way.

Yabu. Agree with most others. Just saying he won't sit at a table is not really good enough. I would not have let my 18 month old wander around costa. 18 month old toddlers are not the most predictable of beings. He could have lurched about in front of her or tripped over - not quite the same as adult walking around. I would have left him in the pushchair for 2 minutes.

I certainly would not have followed her and had an argument about it.

He wont come if I call him

An 18 month old wont sit at a table and wait

THIS IS WHY YOU HOLD YOUR DS LOVE!

To follow this woman and take her to task was WRONG, very combative and tbh, your DS, YOUR problem.

He can stretch his legs when you have YOUR full attention on him and can situate yourselves in a corner so others will not trip over him.

People DON'T look down at knee level.

YABU, sorry. When he is older you will look back and wince.

I bloody hate it when people let their toddlers just wander about or climb on you etc

YABU for buying coffee at a pub

I agree with Betty, even in the supermarket with my 5 year old I alert HIM to watch out for people with trolleys even though I am actually trying to make the adult aware he is there.
Perhaps if you hadn't have followed her to her seat and pursued the matter it might not have turned out so bad.

YABU, quite mad and ageist!

not suggesting he climbed...that just winds me up

part of the probem here is that some pfb people think that strapping their child in is a bad thing to do - regardless of the fact that its for their safety, and the safety of others to whom the child can be a hazzard

Why cant there be some common respect ? If I was walking across a pub and a lady said warmly (which I did - smiled too, all middle class and proper "ooh careful" and alerted her to a toddler NEAR BYE, I would just make sure I didn't walk into him and carry on. I wouldn't feel the need to start saying he ought not be allowed to walk about.

I wouldn't have let my 17 month old DS wander about without me holding onto him. He can cause all sorts of havoc. It must be really hard for those of you with one than one DC - I genuinely don't know how you all cope, but I know my DS could have quite easily legged someone up - and it would have been my fault if I hadn't got hold of him.
I think you might be being a little bit U, but I don't know how else you would have sorted it