to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

[OnEdge]

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

YABU- I think that life is far too short to follow people around picking fights. Do it from your sofa and come here instead .

Why can't he walk free ? I told her he was there so that there was no hazard.

yabu - why take a toddler into wetherspoons? If she had tripped over him and spilt her coffee on him you would be bleating about that.

YABU< i have worked in cafes and when you are trying to serve people you don't need random toddlers walking past you while you carry hot drinks.

You were lucky she was only a customer with one hot drink.

Think it was bit much to follow her back to her chair too

YABU...your childis toddling around a pub?

He was only about 5 feet away. He was safe. She was just gobbing off and being opinionated. Its not up to her who is allowed to walk about where.

YABU. If people are wandering around with hot coffee then it is a bad plan to let your 18m wander around. Sometimes it is better to let a grumpy person have their say than to follow them to their table(!) and defend yourself. It wasn't the crime of the century but yes, you should have made sure that he was being held or in a buggy.

I'm not sure whether or not you're being unreasonable, but have you never had anyone be critical/judgy in public before? Why didn't you just do the usual non-committal smile, shrug or what have you rather than following her to her table for a full explanation?

If you never have where do you live so I can move there?

Your child, your responsibility I'm afraid - what if a waitress had come past with a big tray of hot food and tripped over him?

My local Wetherspoons is no place for babies and toddlers.

YABU, of course you are, your child, your responsibility. A small toddler should not be wandering about in a restaurant without an adult holding his hand. It's people like you that mean so many british restaurants don't welcome children.

You should have been carrying him or at least holding his hand.

And you should have addressed your comment to your child 'DS look out there's a lady with a hot drink there' - thus alerting lady to his presence but without telling her what to do

When she said "Its not me that says it, its this place." Did she mean children aren't allowed in or that parents should have them in their care at all times?

Mumcentreplus It was a pub at 10.00 in the morning, what has that got to do with it? Its not like it was 10 at night and was packed, there was only me, her and 3 others in the whole place.

You don't think you were at all unreasonable though do you? And I have a feeling you're not going to change your mind

YABU- you sound like a nutter!!!!!

Harassing people in wetherspoons because they didn't want to spill coffee on your toddler in a PUB!

If he was an adult she'd have been able to see him. Given that he's a toddler and she was carrying a tray or a cup and saucer he wouldn't have been easy to see and she'd have had no reason to assume there'd be children roaming around.

Of course, the way you choose to approach these things is entirely up to you. If being right is more important than actually taking some practical steps to prevent your child having scalding liquid spilt on him, that's your decision. I feel bad for your kid though.

YABU, I'm sure you would have been the first to complain if someone had tripped over him and poured scalding coffee on his head. It's basic Health and Safety

How ridiculous. YANBU.

He should have been in the buggy until you'd got settled and could focus your attention on him, regardless as to whether he arches his back and gets agitated. YABU to expect the general public to keep a close eye on where your toddler is - that's your responsibility.

OnEdge all it takes is one person with a pot of tea to scald and scar your DS for life.
I have spent yrs in the catering industry and hate DC wandering around as a large tray full of food and or drinks make it hard to negotiate around a wandering toddler who is knee height and may not be even visible to waiting staff esp if the are looking for a person/table.
If I was manager and you had addressed a customer like that I would have asked you to leave but the staff or myself would have probably already asked you to stay with your child, hold his hand or restrain him and keep him next to you.

Sorry you followed a woman to her table to have a go at her.

Then you ask if you are unreasonable and every time someone says you are, you say you aren't.

I'm seeing a pattern.