leaving baby alone in car

[monkeyfeet]

Last night I was walking through retail centre carpark with my son and saw a car with a baby asleep in a child seat in the back of the car. I had a look around there was no one about ant the car was a fair way from the shops so i tried doors they were locked. I didnt have my mobile phone on me so went into the nearest shop and told the manager to phone the police or make an announcement, so we went out again to get the registration and confirm the car was still there it was. Then we went back into the shop to phone I decided i would go back out and see if anyone showed up but by this time I saw the car driving away. All of this was over the course of about 15 mins no one had been keeping an eye on the car or they would have seen me trying to get in the store manager trying to get in and come over. It was freezing outside and the baby looked to be about 6 months old.

So the store manager decided not to ring the police as they had gone but when i got home I rang the non emergency line to make a report. Hopefully it was someone being thoughtless and not negligent and a visit from the polce could make them understand what is not appropriate.

But AIBU to report this to the police?

YANBU- I've done the same before now.

For a baby (under 2), anytime alone would be scary and neglectful, imo. For toddlers, my DD could undo her seatbelt and worked out how the locks worked at about 2.5, so she couldn't have been "safely strapped in". How did I know she could undo her seatbelt? She did it on the M5..... how can anyone be exactly sure what their toddler is capable of physically from one day to the next?

I never leave her alone in the car. I use pay at pump, and would sit with her if she slept in the car. I've only very recently left her alone in the house to let a friend off our drive, with lots of instructions not to move/follow me. She's 3 ffs, how would she cope with decision making in a crisis???

10 years plus is a different kettle of fish. Decision making skills will be developed and safely tested.

YANBU but I wouldn't have touched the car.

The parent came back fairly quickly.
I wouldn't have done it but each to his own.
I watch countless cars drive around London with small kids completely unrestrained by any kind of safety belt.
That freaks me out too but no one seems to enforce the safety belt thing, but in terms of statistics, anyone's child is more likely to be in a car crash than abducted- even from a locked car I would have thought.

Trinitybleu, how is leaving her alone in the house where you can't see her any safer than leaving her in the car whilst paying for petrol where you can see her?

I don't agree that for a baby under 2 ANY time alone would be scary and neglectful. I've left all of mine in the car whilst paying for petrol, never been a problem at all, and they are all well adjusted kids. And if a baby wakes up in the night, they may have some time alone in the cot before the parents wake up (even if they cry this won't always rouse a parent immediately).

It's not so long since parenting involved putting the baby in a pram at the bottom of the garden and then getting on with household tasks, only returning to the baby to feed it at lunchtime....not advocating this, but I do think we have become hysterical parents.

I remember being left locked in my Mom and Dads bedroom and seeing Mom walking up the road, leaving me all alone in the house. I was a toddler. It was probably late 60s and she didn't want the bother of me running her ragged in the shops. I vividly remember looking at the plug socket and thinking I shouldn't mess about with it. It was acceptable then, and she wasn't long. But I do remember being upset at the time.

I am highly entertained by the hysterical transferred logic on this thread. Why does the fact that it sometimes reaches 46 degrees in Arizona mean that it is unsafe to leave a child in a car in the UK when it is 12 degrees? The only relevance of that argument is that it is a bad idea to leave a child in a car in Arizona in summer. We probably all agree about that!

I do it. When paying for petrol or popping into a small shop where the car is right outside and in sight all the time. I personally think that it is a sensible approach. If a lurking paedophile decided to skull around trying the door handles I can guarantee you that he would wish he had just been hit by a car in about 3 seconds.

Risk is never balanced properly though. If you were to drive your child to the petrol station, fill up, go and pay, come back and drive home, the riskiest part of the journey is the driving bit, but parents think nothing of driving their kids all over the place. Like parents who drive their children to school, because of the risks of walking (I have heard this) - when going in the car is as risky, and doesn't have the associated health benefits.

I would love a book that says what statistical risk different activities pose, in a common-sense way. And also, what risk NOT exposing your child to risk poses - ie if I NEVER left my kids alone in the house (I'm talking about the 9yo here), what increased risk of an accident would he be at the first time he DID have to cope on his own? We do have to train the children to cope, because accidents happen.

I often cite this, but I knew someone who was murdered in his house, his 3yo ds spent 3 days in the house with him before he was discovered. Just because you are at home with your child doesn't mean there is no risk.

Do remember that horrible story about the guy whose baby was crying so he popped it into the car and went for a drive to get it off to sleep, went somewhere for a drink and then, smashed wandered home to bed forgetting the whole car/baby thing. Police found the car and baby (who I think was all right) mother had no idea the baby had even been taken out of the house.

Ain't no dog house in the universe big enough for that dumb ass!

It'sa horrible story - but the key point is tha the baby was all right!

TattyDevine:

Whether your BIL considers his actions neglect or not is beside the point, it IS neglect. And in most places he could be arrested for neglect. If he were then at least the children could be placed with a loving family who care about the welfare of the children, instead of just not wanting to be bothered. I feel so sorry for those kids. The reason the 2 year old was crying is because he's smarter than the dad and realizes he shouldn't have been left alone. Please tell him that it is very dangerous to leave them alone in the car at that age. And for those of you who think it has to be Arizona-type heat for a child to succumb to heat stroke in a car and die, think again. It's happened in only 68 degree temps. The point is, a car is NOT a babysitter. If you need one, get one. Don't risk your child's life for your own comfort and convenience. Many of you are asking for reasons not to leave the children in the car. If you need them, visit kidsandcars.org, harrisonshope.org, and forgetmenotusa.org. And please don't mock the very real dangers involved here; children are dead because of that attitude.

And yes, I do consider it risky to drive, anytime. Cars are dangerous. Yes, it would be better to walk, better for the environment and your health. That's why alot of people do choose to live in walkable communities. I know one of the commenters who wants to get a laugh out of this will say "you can get hit by a car while you're walking", and yes, you can. You can get hit on a bike, while walking, in the car, on the train. The point is, and it's a very important point, your young child is not meant to be alone, he/she is meant to have adult supervision to prevent them from getting hurt. You may not be able to prevent it, but at least you're doing your job and attempting to keep them safe and comforted with your presence. Please stop laughing and direct all of that energy to helping the kids, it's needed.

I just wanted to point out that risk assessment does not equal risk minimisation. Risk assessment is an analytical process of looking at the likelihood and the impact of the risk. Risk minimisation is one of the options you might choose to undertake afterward.

So if you were thinking about the risk of leaving your child in the car for a few minutes you would want to identify all the potentially bad things that could happen to them in that time period, and then assess how likely each of those events might be. Then you multiply them together to get a risk rating.

Then you'd need to compare that with all the other scenarios (take them with you, leave them at home, have someone else look after them, not go out at all etc) and assess all the risks those might entail.

And then you could compare the two. Although for real likelihood data you'd need to know an awful lot of accident statistics. Oh, and then you would identify all the ways you could reduce the risk, and the potential costs and benefits of each.

Then you could decide what to do, and say you had taken a risk based decision. Or like most people you make a decision based on your instinct at the time (right or wrong).

SoupDragon - (sorry for the delay) I'm starting to build her up to cope with things. Home doesn't have petrol, moving cars in close proximity etc. If she came out the door, she's got a big garden to cross before getting to cars etc. And I'd have spotted her before she got there.

I left her in the car whilst using a cash machine yesterday, in a quiet, non supermarket car park. I was about 3 metres away.

I'll build up her confidence and teach her how to cope with the what ifs. I'd hate to think of her alone, scared and unable to cope with a situation. That's what I'm here to help with.

YANBU, there is no reaso to leave a child under 7 unattended in a car. Ever!

A few weeks ago when it was snowing here a man had gotten out of his car to help someone who was stuck and blocking the road, whilst he was doig that his 3 kids had taken off their seat belts and knocked the hand brake off which sent the car along the road just missing my mums 4x4 and being stopped metres away from the side of a house!

Thankfully it was not a hill and there were no pedestrians nearby.

I think that whilst our children do need to adjust to coping alone (to an extent) there are risks which are acceptable IMO and others which are just plain stupid.

I will run outside to put the washing out or the bins leaing my 4.5YO in the house for a few minutes, but I will make sure the blinds are open so I can see in and the front door is open so if he needs me he can come to the door. Although if it was not for the fact our garden is quite small, the airer is 6 feet from the front door and the bins just go at the end of the garden, I wouldnt do it if we lied in an upper flat or something.

Electrical fires in cars are very common and do not only occur when the car is running and there is also the risk that the car you are parked next to could catch fire. Yes they are what ifs but it can and does happen. I am married to a firefighter who has seen first hand the damage caused by vehicle fires and how quickly a spark and a bit of smoke can become something much more serious. It is not a risk I would feel comfortable taking. YANBU

we have friends who used to leave their DD1 asleep in the car while they were in restaurants, at parties tec. this was over 20 years ago now but we thought they were mental a bit strange.

I had to report a baby alone in a car park today, got ref of car and as they came back to car before I could get to tell shop security I rang the non emergency number back and informed them that they left. I was then informed person would get a police visit

Well I hope the baby in this thread was sprung from the car in the end - it would be 5 by now and pretty pissed off I'd imagine.

Zombie alert!!!

its probably already been mentioned I have not read thread but there has been new research into babies in baby seats and how baby oxygen drops or something after 40mins crunched in car seat.

well done for noticing op.

Out of curiosity, if a parent had a video link to the inside of the car, so could instantly see if the child woke up, wouldn't that allay the fears of them waking up distressed? As long as the parent can come back pretty quickly, would that be sufficient?

I mean, obviously it doesn't solve the problem of the car exploding for no reason, but could this be a compromise for some things - not a weekly shop, but popping in to Tesco express for a few bits or something?

Person came back after I got off phone to 101. Baby was no more than a 12 month old. Regardless of how long they were in shop. What if someone had
hit the car leaving the car park?

You do know that this was posted in 2011?

Yes, but it's still an interesting debate.